One saucer to rule them all, one saucer to bind them

by **thoughtographer** » Wed May 10, 2006 8:05 pm

Those are some impressive figures and all, Johnny, but please, stop telling me what I already know. For all of your facts, you've still failed to show a direct causitive link between SubGenius "eschatology" and the ultimate fate of the Heaven's Gate cult -- because THERE IS NONE. <blockquote>Quote:<hr>The whole cult was a rip-off of Subgenius "ideals", or whatever you wanna call them.<hr></blockquote> Maybe you have that backwards, maybe not. <hr /> <blockquote>Quote:<hr>SLAMMING HEAVEN'S GATE By Rev. Ivan Stang (apologies to Dr. Legume for the title) "Ma them kids, them SubGeniuses are out there swingin' on the gate to heaven again, they're gonna thow that thing off its hinges and NOBODY'll be able to get through it, and Hell will fill up and the dead will walk the earth and all. Dang them SubGeniuses." I'm a mocker, and am guilty of having made callous fun of the 39 dead geeks. Their farewell statements on video, however, beg us not to make a big deal out of how "tragic" it all is -- they went not only willingly, but eagerly, and it has ALWAYS been the MISSION of "BOB'S" Church, to get you to the punchline ALIVE -- and we don't mean the JONESTOWN PUNCHLINE. Sure, we're waiting for the saucers, too, but, as Dr. Legume put it, we're happy to wait at the corner for the bus, with our quarters in our pockets. We don't feel we have to JUMP OUT INTO THE PATH OF THE ONCOMING BUS. SURE, we'll all shed our containers in 450 some odd days, but when the Pinks find OUR meat shells, it'll be more like, "The 39,000 bodies were all wearing Timex wristwatches, Reeboks shoes, Levis jeans... each had an unopened pack of Camel Lights cigarets and was clutching an empty Dr. Pepper can. Dr. Grabow Pipes were clenched in each dead jaw and Smith and Wesson revolvers had to be pried out of all of their cold dead fingers." OH yeah, we make fun.... BUT... More disgusting than mockers like me, or dumbasses like them, are the pompous, pious Pink pundits who are now oozing out of every op-ed page or talk show, indulging in a veritable orgy of self-congratulation about how sane and normal are THEY AND THEIR "GOOD" RELIGION. "Well, SOME will blame the Internet, but of course the real cause is the breakdown of family values, blah blah woof woof..." The biggest difference between Heaven's Gate and mainstream Christianity is that the Heaven's Gate people never tried to brainwash my kids. They stayed out of my face. If you were INTERESTED, you could look them up on the Web. They didn't take over a dozen radio and TV stations in Dallas. They didn't have entire cable networks devoted to their particular superstition. So they shunned sex. Millions of Christians (called "nuns," "priests" and "losers") are the same way. So 39 of them killed themselves. At least they didn't kill millions of nonbelievers, burn witches, torture freethinkers, etc. So the cultists think some spaceship full of gods is gonna save them! Christians, Jews, Muslims and most everybody else believe in an invisible monster that will help you out if you kiss Its Almighty Invisible Ass. And why do they believe all this? Because they read it in a book, or some REALLY SINCERE PERSON told them about it. But just LISTEN to the Pinks drone on and on and on about those poor "deluded" cultists, as if they themselves were somehow ANY DIFFERENT. I'm not talking about Christian nuts like Bob Larson and Jerry Falwell; you expect it from clowns like them. I hardly need to comment on PAT ROBERTSON playing with little pumpkins on the 700 club and talking about how SILLY those cultists are. I'm talking about your standard everyday middle of the road commentator, your letters-to-the-editor writer, your average good American god-fearing religious hypocrite. They are every JOT AND TITTLE as vain and silly as Do and his followers, have caused INFINITELY more trouble, but now I have to put up with their condescending garbage every time I check the news. And ALL IT BOILS DOWN TO is, "See, my invisible monster was bigger than YOUR invisible monster, nyah nyah, my invisible monster didn't kill me, he's a GOOD invisible monster, and ALL the rest of us NORMAL people believe in OUR invisible monster, nyah nyah nyah nyah..." The cultists made me sick, but the Normals make me much sicker. As fucked up as those Heaven's Gate idiots were, oftimes I think I'd rather be a DEAD WEIRDO than a LIVE NORMAL. Praise "HERFF!" Praise "HREF!" From: <a href="http://www.ibiblio.org/subgenius/hellsgate/SlammingHeavensGate.html">Slamming Heaven's Gate</a> (linked from the page you posted -- can't blame you if you missed it) <hr></blockquote> "A crooked stick will cast a crooked shadow."Edited by: <A HREF=http://p216.ezboard.com/brigorousintuition.showUserPublicProfile?gid=thoughtographer>thoughtographer</A> at: 5/10/06 6:18 pm

by **johnny nemo** » Thu May 11, 2006 12:41 pm

...I showed how it went down. That you choose not to see it proves that you are either being obtuse or are a brainwashed cultist. Either way, you seem to be having trouble rigorously intuiting what happened. So be it. I'm not gonna argue with you. I don't need Stang (or his buddy Hellswami) sending me one of his infamous "mail bombs" to enlighten me, if I dare to disagree with one of Bob's Zombies. The callous disregard that you, and other Sebgenii cultists have/had for the Heaven's Gate tragedy, was/is appalling. I recall immediately after it happened, how the Subgenii were joking about how you could "advertise at the next disaster" by placing advertisements for your company on other cults when they suicided. Really f*cking funny.

by **thoughtographer** » Thu May 11, 2006 1:55 pm

<blockquote>Quote:<hr>For the last time.... ...I showed how it went down. That you choose not to see it proves that you are either being obtuse or are a brainwashed cultist. Either way, you seem to be having trouble rigorously intuiting what happened. So be it.<hr></blockquote> No, dipshit -- you showed how someone else SAID it went down. What's funny is that you're trying to convince me that a SubGenius prank is REAL, which means that you're the type of mark that's COUNTED ON to perpetuate a myth like this, while the rest of us just think, laugh and move on. Maybe if you actually took a look at "DATELINE FOR DOMINANCE", you would understand why something like that is so easy to use as "evidence" for pranks like this. Maybe you'll actually laugh, but I doubt it. <blockquote>Quote:<hr>I'm not gonna argue with you. I don't need Stang (or his buddy Hellswami) sending me one of his infamous "mail bombs" to enlighten me, if I dare to disagree with one of Bob's Zombies.<hr></blockquote> Man, you are a bigger sucker than I had initially suspected if you actually feel threatened in any way by John Hagen-Brenner, Douglas St. Clair Smith, me or any other SubGenius out there. Mail bomb? You mean some firecrackers in a fucking envelope? Give me a break. You're not going to argue with me? Just admit that you fell for a joke and then the argument is over. <blockquote>Quote:<hr>The callous disregard that you, and other Sebgenii cultists have/had for the Heaven's Gate tragedy, was/is appalling. I recall immediately after it happened, how the Subgenii were joking about how you could "advertise at the next disaster" by placing advertisements for your company on other cults when they suicided. Really f*cking funny.<hr></blockquote> Did you even read the Stang article that I posted? If you did, then you would understand that other, more well established "cults" did exactly that; they rode on the coattails of a tragedy, using their righteous indignation and maudlin posturing about the events as an advertisement for themselves. Tell me which is worse: a joke, or more evangelism? You're not going to argue with me, because you've allowed yourself to be BRAINWASHED by a joke masquerading as propaganda, which is funny because you're the one accusing me of being a "brainwashed cultist". Why are you censoring yourself? I know what the word is, and you know what the word is -- why dance around about it? FUCKING! FUCKING FUNNY! It IS really FUCKING funny. Sad, beautiful, and FUNNY. But hey -- fuck you if you can't take a joke. You're a part of the joke, whether you like it or not. "A crooked stick will cast a crooked shadow."Edited by: <A HREF=http://p216.ezboard.com/brigorousintuition.showUserPublicProfile?gid=thoughtographer>thoughtographer</A> at: 5/11/06 11:56 am

by **johnny nemo** » Thu May 11, 2006 4:19 pm

The only problem is...that it's not funny. And it's not harmless. If someone reads a Dischordian book and decides to call the mayor of their town and ask to talk to the people in charge and then indicates, in true Dischordian mirth, that he/she wants to talk to the ones really in charge i.e. the ants from space that are really running the show, then that's funny. It's also harmless. When a UFO cult reads about another UFO cult predicting the coming of a comet, the naming of a comet and the end of the world and kills themselves over it, it's not funny and definitely not harmless. When the original UFO cult then derides the dead members of that cult and offers to help people advertise on the dead bodies of the next cult that kills themselves, it's not funny and it's not harmless. When a bunch of kids, who don't fit in, read rants about the destruction of "normals" on a SuGenius website and decide to go shoot all the "normals" at their school, which is exactly what happened at Colombine, then it's not funny and it's not harmless. When Rev Stang promises YOU ARE SAVED, brother. YOU WILL BE ABOARD THE ESCAPE VESSELS OF THE SEX GODDESSES IN 1998, and that you will sit at the right hand of Dobbs and watch the Normals die on 3D TV. It's not harmless and it's not funny. When Rev Stang "jokes" Oh, and kill that disbeliever, would you? Destroy all the disbelievers. It's not harmless and it's not funny.

by **thoughtographer** » Thu May 11, 2006 5:24 pm

Look, don't fucking tell ME what's funny and what's not. It's ironic that you're pointing to Discordians as an example of what you consider "harmless" -- to wit: <blockquote>Quote:<hr> Board Of Directors of The SubGenius Foundation appointed in 1980: Puzzling Evidence St. Sterno Keckhaver LIES Doug Wellman St. Janor Hypercleats St. Paul Mavrides HellSwami John Hagen Drs. for "Bob" Sir Guy Deuel Pastor Buck Naked Pope David Meyer III Glassmadness Cookie Drummond F.G.O.T.R. J. Erickson someone else Additional Sacrifices, 1981, by: High Priestess Eileen Keller Capt. Hugh M. Smith Dr. Bootmokus Tribunal Overdrive Alexander D. Smith Stefan Hammond Rev. Larry Sulkis Rev. David Boone Shrendi Chisholm Dennis Keller Bob Black, St. Byron Werner THE LAST INTERNATIONAL R. Wollard Dr. Jay Kinney BurnMartyr Dr.Snavely Eklund St. Joe Schwind Severn Institute Pope St. D. Lee Lama St. Poonflang dammerung <a href="http://www.subgenius.com/updates/X0012_Kerry_Thornley_R.I.P.html">Kerry Wendell Thornely </a> Pope Mike Danger Hector Hilldale Autumn Deuel Leslie Gaspar Drelloid tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE<hr></blockquote> So, you might as well blame COLUMBINE and EVERYTHING else on the Discordians while you're ferreting out the "harmful" groups behind all of this murderous mayhem in the world. I mean, Thornley was so -- for lack of a better term -- "out there", that you find yourself questioning his motives for anything he said or did, and then questioning your motives for questioning his motives; sending your thoughts in directions the probably wouldn't go otherwise. It serves to illustrate exactly the goal of Discordianism and it's brethren and progeny: TO GET YOU TO THINK. Was Thornley an anti-semite? WHO KNOWS! Do I care? I'm not sure! <blockquote>Quote:<hr>When a UFO cult reads about another UFO cult predicting the coming of a comet, the naming of a comet and the end of the world and kills themselves over it, it's not funny and definitely not harmless.<hr></blockquote> Since everything following this is ALARMIST CLAPTRAP that's so beyond ridiculous that I'm beginning to think that you're taking me for a ride here, as opposed to YOU being taken for a ride by a SubGenius joke. I mean, this is fun and all, but I think there are better things to blame the ills of the world on than "Bob". READ THE FUCKING BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS YOURSELF! If you do, you will notice that it's not a fucking "UFO cult" -- unless you don't understand satire at all, which would certainly explain a lot. Also, you will notice that what they are taking credit for simply doesn't exist in the book. If you want, I'll transcribe my 1987 Fireside copy's entry for 1997 in "DATELINE FOR DOMINANCE", but among other funny entries, theres: "Cheap, brittle fiber-composition broomsticks introduced." or "Living clones of Elvis, Hitler, Jimi Hendrix, and JFK lead mankind to finally crush forever the threat from the Hollow Earth (details unclear)." -- no comet though. So, either you've been fucked with and won't admit it, or I'm really being hilariously fucked with by you right now. You're free to claim either or otherwise, but we both know the truth. Either way, it's all okay by me. "A crooked stick will cast a crooked shadow."Edited by: <A HREF=http://p216.ezboard.com/brigorousintuition.showUserPublicProfile?gid=thoughtographer>thoughtographer</A> at: 5/11/06 3:37 pm

by **johnny nemo** » Fri May 12, 2006 6:20 pm

to borrow the motto of "Processed World", is f*ck with your mind until you come to your senses. I doubt that it will work, but it's worth a try. There is a sinister nature that shows a callous disregard for others in the "jokes" of the SubGenius cult, and I, for one,find it deplorable. Be it Heaven's Gate, Columbine or whatever, when disasters occur, you can count on Stang, or one of Bob's zombies, to make a cruel joke about it and revel in the destruction of "pinkboys". The party line of "F*ck 'em,if they can't take a joke" is specious, at best. Do you also condone racism and misogyny, if it's done in the name of "humor"? Mores the pity if you do. You can see it in the intro to the book of the Subgenius, with the line" 3,000 children starving to death in Mexico City every day, ha ha!" It's all just a big f*cking joke to you and it makes me want to scream, "Why don't you do something about it ?!?" The Subgenii are content to run around naked in the woods, play golf with Bob's head, have orgies or whatever, but it never seems to occur to any of you to actually do anything about the problems in the world. You use your rapidly-disappearing freedom of speech to discuss Wotan, JChing-1, and other nonsense, but can't be bothered, for one second, to get off your a$$es and get motivated. At the end of the day, the SubGenii so-called "parody" cult greatly resembles the elitists who are destroying this world. Both groups engage in bizarre rituals, involving sex, drugs and strange incantations and neither group gives a f*ck about anyone else. But, by all mean, continue on with your escapist pap. Run around naked on july 5th and wait for the saucers to whisk you away. Bob forbid you take your head out of the sand and lend a hand.

by **thoughtographer** » Fri May 12, 2006 6:39 pm

<blockquote>Quote:<hr>The Subgenii are content to run around naked in the woods, play golf with Bob's head, have orgies or whatever, but it never seems to occur to any of you to actually do anything about the problems in the world.<hr></blockquote> I don't do any of that crap, so I don't know what you're talking about. How the FUCK do YOU know what I "actually do about the problems in the world"? And since WHEN the HELL did it become your responsibility to tell anyone else where their responsibilities lie? Being a SubGenius doesn't disallow me from being a Christian, and for all you know -- I AM A FUCKING CHRISTIAN. It takes all kinds -- IT REALLY DOES. <blockquote>Quote:<hr>You use your rapidly-disappearing freedom of speech to discuss Wotan, JChing-1, and other nonsense, but can't be bothered, for one second, to get off your a$$es and get motivated.<hr></blockquote> What, am I supposed to trot out all of my good deeds here to prove to you that I'm a decent, caring and honest person who helps my fellow man (and woman)? Forget it. I don't have to prove myself to you, because that's not the issue. <blockquote>Quote:<hr>At the end of the day, the SubGenii so-called "parody" cult greatly resembles the elitists who are destroying this world. Both groups engage in bizarre rituals, involving sex, drugs and strange incantations and neither group gives a f*ck about anyone else.<hr></blockquote> It's assholes like you that are responsible for <a href="http://www.subgenius.com/updates/maghelp.html">Rev. Magdalen</a>'s troubles. Thanks for the moral policing, OFFICER! <blockquote>Quote:<hr>But, by all mean, continue on with your escapist pap. Run around naked on july 5th and wait for the saucers to whisk you away.<hr></blockquote> Thanks, but I don't need your permission! The saucers already came, AND THEN -- SO DID I!!! I WAS NAKED, TOO. IT WASN'T EVEN JULY! IT WAS IN THE FUTURE! <blockquote>Quote:<hr>Bob forbid you take your head out of the sand and lend a hand.<hr></blockquote> "Bob" forbids nothing. Why don't you take the sand, AND YOUR HAND, out of YOUR ASS. "A crooked stick will cast a crooked shadow."Edited by: <A HREF=http://p216.ezboard.com/brigorousintuition.showUserPublicProfile?gid=thoughtographer>thoughtographer</A> at: 5/13/06 7:17 pm

by **johnny nemo** » Fri May 12, 2006 7:36 pm

Hahahahaha. Twist a pig's ear and watch him squeal. Nice language, BTW. Profanity is the first refuge of a feeble mind. <blockquote>Quote:<hr>What, am I supposed to trot out all of my good deeds here to prove to you that I'm a decent, caring and honest person who helps my fellow man (and woman)? Forget it. I don't have to prove myself to you, because that's not the issue.<hr></blockquote> It is the issue and, as I suspected, you have no leg to stand on. Typical game of duck and cover from a cultist. I was talking about your little cult, not you, BTW. I was hoping that you could show me one instance where the SubGenii did something to help someone else out, instead of laughing at the victims of disasters and squealing with glee at the death of "pinkboys". Of course, such things don't happen, because your cult, which should be named, Cult Of The SubUseless, never does anything worth mentioning. SubUseless losers like SRL could build robots, or other machinery, that actually help people, but can't be bothered to. They just build their little toys and ignore the suffering in the world, like the good little cultist loserboys that they are. Sit around and joke about the sad state of the world, jokeboy. When it's all said and done....the joke is on you and no-one's laughing.

by **thoughtographer** » Sat May 13, 2006 12:17 am

OH HO HO!!! YOU GOT ME, FELLA! I'M ALL FIRED UP! Anyway -- mock sympathy from someone trawling for a reaction is about what I expected from you. I gave you the information you needed to prove that you were STRAIGHT-UP TOOK by a PRANK and realizing this, you switched gears to pass judgment on what YOU consider to be the intentions of the joke, taking it even further to assault my character and call me a "cultist". You could have just admitted to your mistake, but you went the extra mile to shove your morality down my throat instead. Thanks for giving it the extra effort. <blockquote>Quote:<hr>Of course, such things don't happen, because your cult, which should be named, Cult Of The SubUseless, never does anything worth mentioning.<hr></blockquote> OF COURSE, such things DO happen, only a lot of us don't run around tooting our own horns about this shit all of the time, proclaiming: "I AM A SUBGENIUS, and I DROVE MY GRANDMOTHER HOME TONIGHT after DONATING TO CHARITY and GIVING MY SHOES TO A HOMELESS MAN!" Just because something has a callous appearance doesn't mean that what lies beneath is of the same character. Are you similarly biased against decent Christians, Jews or Muslims? I guess they're okay because they hide the nasty aspects of their human nature from everyone, which is what usually leads to the abuse and horror in our world. FUCK 'EM IF THEY CAN'T TAKE A JOKE, and yes, FUCK YOU TOO. You couldn't take the joke, so here you are, doing your best moral outrage routine. I don't know what Survival Research Laboratories has to do with me, but it's pretty ridiculous to get mad at them for NOT building robots to "actually help people" -- whatever that means. What do you do for a living? What do you do for fun? I'm sure I could find some way of being indignant about the way you spend your time if I cared enough, but there are a lot of people out there, with A LOT of different ideas about what constitutes wise usage of time. Thank "Bob" you're not in a position to force your ideas on anyone. I help people all the time, as they help me. I just don't get all caught up in taking or giving credit for good deeds, because that's for assholes out to quell their own guilty consciences or promote something they're selling. We can't all be Oprah -- THANK GOD. <blockquote>Quote:<hr>When it's all said and done....the joke is on you and no-one's laughing.<hr></blockquote> Say it all you want, but it's still not true. Lots of people are laughing, but that doesn't mean they don't cry when you're not looking. There's enough phony sympathy out there, and it's keeping the advertisers in business. "A crooked stick will cast a crooked shadow."

by **Hugh Manatee Wins** » Sat May 13, 2006 4:16 pm

Thoughtographer wrote- <blockquote>Quote:<hr>Being a SubGenius doesn't disallow me from being a Christian, and for all you know -- I AM A FUCKING CHRISTIAN. It takes all kinds -- IT REALLY DOES.<hr></blockquote> "I am a fucking Christian." Pretty funny reading, tgrapher. I'll try that one when the Mormans come to the door. lol. Are you engaged in interpersonal slams in every thread you post in? Sure seems like an old Monty Python skit...

by **thoughtographer** » Sat May 13, 2006 9:24 pm

<blockquote>Quote:<hr>"I am a fucking Christian." Pretty funny reading, tgrapher. I'll try that one when the Mormans come to the door. lol.<hr></blockquote> I've said similar things to Mormons in the past, and they were my friends -- I didn't even have to wait for them to come to my door. <blockquote>Quote:<hr>Are you engaged in interpersonal slams in every thread you post in? Sure seems like an old Monty Python skit...<hr></blockquote> Well, you're going to see it that way whether those were my intentions or not, so... "A crooked stick will cast a crooked shadow."

by **Dreams End** » Fri May 19, 2006 6:06 pm

OH...this thread is better than the "tech question" one. If anyone has any actual interest in Heaven's Gate...research who owned their house. You might also wonder if maybe Richard Hoagland and Art Bell might have a bit more blame assigned to them than the CoSG.

by **professorpan** » Fri May 19, 2006 6:22 pm

The very idea that someone truly believes the Church of the Subgenius is a "dangerous cult" is truly funny and sad at the same time.

by **thoughtographer** » Fri May 19, 2006 6:25 pm

<blockquote>Quote:<hr>You might also wonder if maybe Richard Hoagland and Art Bell might have a bit more blame assigned to them than the CoSG.<hr></blockquote> Hey, at least Stang and friends take (mock) responsibility for pretty much any large-scale cult activity that hits the newswire. Those other clowns would just blame it on some shadowy, invisible conspiracy just like everything else. <blockquote>Quote:<hr>The very idea that someone truly believes the Church of the Subgenius is a "dangerous cult" is truly funny and sad at the same time.<hr></blockquote> Yeah, I got a pretty big laugh out of that fact, though I dare not show pity for this guy or he'll flip the fuck out again. "A crooked stick will cast a crooked shadow."Edited by: <A HREF=http://p216.ezboard.com/brigorousintuition.showUserPublicProfile?gid=thoughtographer>thoughtographer</A> at: 5/19/06 4:28 pm

by **DBtv** » Sun May 21, 2006 1:58 am

to give yourself slack!! Pull the wool over your own eyes.

One saucer to rule them all, one saucer to bind them

Re: In the name of Bob, I'm not blaming the Subgenii

For the last time....

Re: For the last time....

It's all a big joke, isn't it?

Re: It's all a big joke, isn't it?

What I'm trying to do....

Re: What I'm trying to do....

Aww, did I touch a nerve?

Re: Aww, did I touch a nerve?

Re: What I'm trying to do....

Re: What I'm trying to do....

Re: What I'm trying to do....

Re: What I'm trying to do....

Re: What I'm trying to do....

The Power of Bob commands you

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