On Turning Forty while reading the RI board

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On Turning Forty while reading the RI board

Postby Dreams End » Mon Mar 06, 2006 5:19 pm

Today, I turn forty. It's a milestone, I suppose. They say that forty is the new thirty, though by extension of that logic, 20 is the new 10, which might explain a lot, come to think of it.<br><br> Just a few months after I married my wife she had an emotional breakdown...from which she has never fully recovered, even 2 years later. When she finally confessed to hearing "voices in her head" and that these voices were very explicit that she NOT tell anyone about them, we began to look into the possibility of D.I.D (dissociative identity disorder--formerly called "multiple personality disorder") The diagnosis fit much better with what she was experiencing...and we found a shrink who both STOPPED treating her as bipolar and actually responded to emergency pages. A very rare combination, indeed, evidently. <br><br>I don't mean for anyone to feel sorry for me...she's the one who struggles so mightily. But it's tough to be the one providing support, as well. I am often forced to make choices with too little information. And I've made some I've regretted in hindsight. Decisions such as whether to hospitalize or not, given that no psychiatric facility around here seems capable of meeting even her basic needs (on her last visit to one, they acknowledged she was a vegetarian and proceeded to give her a hamburger after the lengthy intake process and then refused to provide anti-biotic ointment for the self-inflicted gashes on her legs as she attempted to write Help in her own blood.)<br><br>And yet I could not keep her safe here at home, either...as I simply can't hide all the sharp objects in sight. She'll even use a pencil if that's all she's got. So when she's completely delusional and cutting on herself to that extent I'm left with little choice. (And ANYTHING to avoid having her 13-year-old daughter be the one to find her like this and to be the one to take away that knife. That happened once, too.)<br><br>And there is the almost nightly experience of reading stories to a 4-year-old inside a 39-year-old's body. Wisper is her name. Winnie the Pooh is her favorite...we watched the Oscar's last night and I prayed that if she was near the surface she did not put together the fact that one of the actor's who died this year and was mentioned in the tribute they always do provided the voice of Piglet. It may seem small to you, but it would be devastating for Wisper to know this and to try to make sense of it.<br><br>There are others inside her, of course. Older children and some young adults. And there is a monster named Rage as well. His only motivation is to destroy. She drew a picture of him...or we think it's him. You see, one day, she looked in a mirror and saw his face instead of her own. Bloody. Sneering. Showing broken teeth and fangs. I cannot imagine looking into a mirror and seeing such a face. Who is he? What does he want from her?<br><br>There is also a tiny infant. The infant, like Rage, was locked up in a jail cell. And so was the girl we call Silence, who does not speak and has only emerged once that I've witnessed. She cannot speak because she does not have a mouth. Someone has taken it from her.<br><br>And some of these people would very much like to kill her, if nothing else to end the pain. This has been our life for the last 2 years.<br><br>When someone you love is suffering, you want to help. In my case, I want to fight. This is my nature. I want to find the bad guys and put them away. If only it were that simple. <br><br>Mostly, the few memories she has are very brief glimpses of abuse by mother and father. But she has few memories at all from certain periods in her life...and one theme that has emerged the most, recently, is how much "simple" neglect has had to do with this. In some ways, so far at least, parental neglect seems to have done far more damage than any overt abuse.<br><br>But with so little information and a family in denial, there's really no one for me to fight. So if nothing else, I go looking for information.<br><br>What's out there is scary. In addition to stories of horrific abuse by parents and the challenges of recovering from the trauma it produces are other stories about mind control experiments and ritual abuse related to longstanding and secret occult groups. If something like this happened to her, it would be important, I think, to know it. <br><br>Until last weekend I saw no evidence of this. But then a thread discussing these subjects was posted and a reference to a survivor named "svali" was made. I went to her site. What was at the beginning I'll get to in a moment, but it was what came later that bothered me. She made a reference to "phone home" programming...a command instilled within an alter, usually a younger part, to call home or face "self destruct" programming. And this is exactly what happened to Debbie. A young part felt compelled to call her mother and she's been very suicidal lately. The rest of her system freaked out..."screamed at her", but still she called.<br><br>And her mother, also admittedly DID, took the call as if it was the most natural thing in the world.<br><br>And Debbie did not even remember making the call.<br><br>And her mother didn't even call or email to see if this unusual call might indicate some trouble.<br><br>And her mother only responded to Debbie's email about it with a forwarded email including a picture of a cat and kitten (which instantly trigger the young parts to emerge) and the following text:<br><br><br><!--EZCODE QUOTE START--><blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>We Is Friends!<br><br><br><br>Me And You Is Friends . <br><br>You Smile, I Smile <br><br>You Hurt, I Hurt <br><br>You Cry, I Cry <br><br>You Jump Off A Bridge <br><br>I Gonna Miss Your E-Mails <hr></blockquote><!--EZCODE QUOTE END--><br><br>Debbie's suicidality is no secret. She's been hospitalized now three times. And yet, in response to this compulsion by a young part to call, this is the response.<br><br>This email has made it's rounds on the internet and was not composed by Debbie's mom. So always...ALWAYS there is the possibility of poor decision making coupled with coincidence. <br><br>So I saw this paragraph about phone home programming and it actually caused me to move a very cynical response I had to this Svali to another thread. Here's an example:<br><br><!--EZCODE QUOTE START--><blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>In order to understand Illuminati cult programming, it is first necessary to understand a bit about the structure and philosophy of the organization. The Illuminati are a group of people who follow a philosophy known as "Illuminism" or "enlightenment". The Illuminati were named several hundred years ago, but trace their roots and history to the ancient mystery religions of Egypt, ancient Babylon, and even Mesopotamia. Out of these ancient religions, which were practiced secretly over hundreds and hundreds of years, there arose esoteric groups which continued to practice the rites, traditions, and enculturation brought in from the original groups. <br>Over the centuries, these groups practiced openly in some countries, and covertly in countries where Christianity or other religions opposed their practices. Some of the groups which came out of these ancient roots included the order of the Knights Templar, Rosicrucian's, Baphetomism, and Druidic cults. These groups were the forerunners, or roots, of modern day Illuminism. The original Illuministic leaders chose to take what they felt were the best practices of each root religion, combine them into principles, then organized these principles according to specific guidelines. <hr></blockquote><!--EZCODE QUOTE END--><br><br><br><!--EZCODE AUTOLINK START--><a href="http://www.mindcontrolforums.com/svali_speaks.htm">www.mindcontrolforums.com...speaks.htm</a><!--EZCODE AUTOLINK END--><br><br>There is so much wrong with these first two paragraphs that I really don't even want to get into it. Basically, there are two issues. One is that the person Svali claims to have the whole historical conspiracy figured out. And second, there is factually wrong material in these paragraphs. So then one is left to wonder: if the information about the Illuminati is b.s. then maybe the other stuff about RA and mind control is also b.s. <br><br>And while I deleted my tongue in cheek mocking of other Svali ideas such as that Sesame Street plays a part in the illuminati conspiracy out of respect for a survivor advocate, I'm almost sorry I did so now. <br><br>Let me explain. You see, I'm looking for information to help my wife. So when people post unsubstantiated sweeping conspiracy theories in and among (possibly) more factual material, it is not exactly helpful. In fact, I think that, though I understand the need to support survivors, when a survivor becomes well known and is leading other survivors in their own healing, it's time to be MORE RIGOROUS, not less. We see clearly with Cathy O'Brian and others that survivors can be manipulated to spread disinfo. SURVIVOR Kathleen Sullivan talks about his clearly in her interview with Jeff:<br><br><!--EZCODE QUOTE START--><blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr><br>Some of the common signs I’ve found in materials written by disinfo agents are:<br><br>1. The agents usually lure one or two outspoken, fairly credible mind-control survivors by wooing them and/or promising to protect the survivors. Some of the agents have actually influenced the survivors to allow the agents into their homes, sex lives, and bank accounts. These agents have then gained illegitimate credibility by encouraging their new protégés to co-write with the agents and appear with the agents at conferences on mind control.<br><br>2. The agents promote disinfo-laden conspiracy theories through themselves and their protégés. For instance, a current joint conspiracy among recognized disinfo agents is to frighten people into believing that: the high-level perpetrators (world-ranking politicians, etc.) are really shape-shifting aliens in human bodies who have already, in secret, created a New World Order that is in the process of changing all of us into mentally controlled slaves. (It is not difficult for identified disinfo agents, who are masters in mental manipulation and hypnosis, to “convince” the highly suggestible protégés that they saw high-ranking politicians morph into lizard aliens and back again.) By buying into this disinfo, we are likely to either become irrational, or to melt into puddles of helplessness and fear. I believe that as long as they focus our attention onto subjects like this that are likely to push our panic buttons, they will render us nearly, if not totally ineffective in learning the truth and using it effectively.<br><br>3. By feeding other bits and pieces of false information to the protégé survivors, they use the survivors to promote even more disinformation. Hearing such disinfo from both the agents and their protégés causes us to be more likely to believe that the disinfo must therefore be legitimate. My biggest concern about this, is that the protégés are not only adding an undeserved sheen of credibility to the disinfo agents and their lies, but the protégés are also being used to influence the public to believe that ALL mind-control survivors must believe the same lies. Beyond that, any individual who is educated or smart enough to recognize the disinfo as such, may therefore not trust information provided by those of us who are presenting legitimate information.<br><br>4. Another interesting factor is that most of the more outspoken disinfo agents present together at conferences that either pander to “conspiracy theorists” and/or to the sector that is pro-Aryan and/or “Patriot.” Not all people in the Patriot movement are pro-Aryan. However, I have learned that most of the mind-control disinfo agents are, privately if not publicly, avowed racists. This would seem to be a rather odd connection, if one did not know that many Aryan organizations and cell groups use “trauma-based mind control” on their members, to ensure their submission and compliance.<br><br>5. Some of the disinfo agents have indicated, publicly, that they are “against” other disinfo agents while still working with them behind the scenes.<br><br>6. Some disinfo agents will claim that they were harmed or worse, by “bad guys,” to shut them up, but cannot provide any real proofs of such occurrences.<br><br>7. When disinfo agents are being outed by legitimate survivors and concerned investigators and journalists, the agents will usually accuse the survivors of being “disturbed” or misled, and/or will accuse both the survivors and other concerned parties of working for the CIA, NWO, etc. to silence them.<br><br>8. Most disinfo agents have a strange aura of “charisma” and can easily suck people in, mentally and emotionally. Further, they can influence gullible individuals to believe their information without providing sufficient proofs that the information is legitimate. This is perhaps the most important sign that one should look for, internally, when in the presence of a disinfo agent. If one feels a need to relax for just a little while and check his/her brains at the door, one is probably already coming under the influence of the agent’s hypnotic skills.<br><br>9. Not all disinfo agents are public speakers. Some keep a lower profile. The more outspoken agents will, on occasion, quote the less-outspoken agents’ lies to add further credibility to their own materials and presentations.<br><br><br><!--EZCODE AUTOLINK START--><a href="http://rigorousintuition.blogspot.com/2005/02/interview-with-kathleen-sullivan-part.html">rigorousintuition.blogspo...-part.html</a><!--EZCODE AUTOLINK END--><hr></blockquote><!--EZCODE QUOTE END--><br><br>If someone is going to be out there advocating for victims, then this needs to be a part of the process, to understand what this misinformation is about. I have my own theory, in part, and will share that again in a second.<br><br>But the point is that this is not a game. Lives are at stake. I've wasted untold hours tracking down this bullshit and the stuff that is real or helpful gets so contaminated that it is almost unusable. I think we do survivors and many others a disservice to allow this stuff to continue to be put out there without contention. <br><br>Do I think there's a real core of truth behind allegations of MC programming. Nevermind what I think, let the CIA speak for themselves, from one of the (no doubt tame enough to be) declassified CIA documents on MKULTRA:<br><!--EZCODE QUOTE START--><blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr><br>" Practical - Not theoretical research be conducted and carried out. The nature of this research to include 20 specific problems." <br>Here are a few: SI - Sleep Induction. H stands for Hypnosis <br> <br>2. Can we in a matter of an hour, two hours, one day, etc., induce an H condition in an unwilling subject to such an extent that he will perform an act for our benefit? (Long range). <br>4. Could we seize a subject and in the space of an hour or two by post-H control have him crash an airplane, wreck a train, etc.? (Short, immediate activity) <br>5. Can we by SI and H techniques force a subject (unwilling or otherwise) to travel long distances, commit specified acts and return to us or bring documents or materials? Can a person acting under post-H control successfully travel long distances? <br>7. Can we guarantee total amnesia under any and all conditions? <br>8. Can we "alter" a person's Personality? How long will it hold? <br>10. Can we detect SI and H by use of SI and H (regression)? <br>12. Can we devise a system for making unwilling subjects into willing agents and then transfer that control to untrained agency agents in the field by use of codes or identifying signs or credentials? <br>13. How long can we sustain a post-H suggestion-unaided-with reinforcement? <br>20. Can we, while a subject is under SI and H control, show them a map and have them point out specific items, locations, etc., on the map? Can we also have them make detailed drawings, sketches, plans? Could any of the above be done under field conditions and in a very short space of time?<br><br><!--EZCODE AUTOLINK START--><a href="http://my.dmci.net/~casey/Indiana%20University%20Lecture%202003.html">my.dmci.net/~casey/Indian...02003.html</a><!--EZCODE AUTOLINK END--><br><hr></blockquote><!--EZCODE QUOTE END--><br>So, yeah, the CIA can claim they never SUCCEEDED if they want, but they can't deny they studied the possibility. So I accept that this is out there. And even that my wife may have been exposed to it. And it could be something completely different for her. Her grandfather...a most beloved relative so any revelations that reflect negatively on him would be extremely difficult to bear, was a rather well known early expert on Haitian voodoo. He was known for bringing folk talkes from Haiti and all other sorts of places to the U.S. and even recorded some. One of them makes it into children's books even now. So he went and studied voodoo...while in the army. And his daughter, my wife's mother, is DID...and so is Debbie. So make of that what you will..but the evidence goes no further than that...at least not for now.<br><br>But you see, that's the point of this post. EVIDENCE is crucial. And broad generalizations alleging that all conspiracies are part of one ultimate, millenia long conspiracy simply disempower the survivor and mislead the honest researcher. And as far as I'm concerned THAT'S EXACTLY THE POINT OF IT.<br><br>I think, for example, that one very mundane fact may be a reason that such misinfo exists. I think that it may actually turn out that the above CIA study found that hypnotizing people in these ways was actually quite easy. And THIS is the fact they want to hide...that (and I bet especially now with new technology) to create hypnotized "alters" or at least "programs" in people is simply not that difficult. And I think THIS, in turn, may explain a lot.<br><br>Such as CIA/cult connections. I think the info about CIA - Jonestown connections is pretty solid though I don't have a link to recommend. And we have L.Ron Hubbard, formerly of Naval Intelligence (and Crowley disciple) running the largest, richest cult in the world. Well, he's dead now...but the control of Scientology was actually taken by a group of..well, what else can I call them...mind control Hubbard proteges, who'd been part of his special entourage since they were kids. I think that it is exactly what it looks like. These kids were given to Hubbard and he became their controller or else someone in the organization linked to intelligence agencies, more likely, and they successfully took over after he died. One of them is the guy you saw Tom Cruise saluting in one of Jeff's blog posts.<br><br>And with Larouche you get the added bonus of a cult AND a disinformation factory. And since he used to openly provide intel the Reagan administration: <br><br><!--EZCODE AUTOLINK START--><a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/national/longterm/cult/larouche/larou1.htm">www.washingtonpost.com/wp...larou1.htm</a><!--EZCODE AUTOLINK END--><br><br>Here's a taste. Hmmm...early Russian contacts, meetings with Bobby Ray Inman, meetings with John Singlaub, providing intel on environmental groups...nah, he's not a spook.<br><br><!--EZCODE QUOTE START--><blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr><br>Inman Recalls Visit <br>In an interview, Inman recalled the visit at his CIA office by LaRouche and his wife, Helga Zepp-LaRouche, who had just returned from Europe. He said that she gave enticing information about the West German Green Party, an antinuclear group. "At the time, nobody in intelligence was covering them at all," Inman said of the Greens. <br>Inman, now head of a Texas-based computer research organization, said the meeting was not extraordinary, because, as a CIA official, he sometimes met with people returning from overseas trips. He said he did not give information, but listened. <br>Inman and other intelligence officials said they doubt the stories, widely circulated inside the LaRouche group, that the organization has informants inside the CIA who provide it with intelligence. <br>Former associates said the organization dealt with several "cutouts," or intermediaries, who claimed they received confidential reports from the CIA. The code name for one supposed CIA contact was "Mr. Ed," said ex-associates, who added they know of no confirmation that the contact existed. <br>The group has worked closely with a former CIA operative who has helped provide security and given information about the international narcotics trade, ex-members said. <br>The organization also had close ties for years with a former Office of Strategic Services guerrilla operative, Mitchell WerBell III, who introduced members to many intelligence and military figures, sources said. <br>The LaRouche-affiliated Schiller Institute -- an international group named for 18th century poet Friedrich Schiller that says it is committed to the ideals of the American Revolution -- lists on its advisory board several high-ranking retired and active-duty military officers. <br>The LaRouche group also tried for years to gain favor in the Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA), the Pentagon's intelligence arm. When DIA officials first met with LaRouche associates in the early 1970s, they were impressed with the group's intelligence material, said former DIA director Daniel Graham. <br>Graham recalled that LaRouche associates came up with what he called good intelligence about the situation in Angola, Mozambique and elsewhere. Graham said that in the mid-1970s, he and DIA colleagues concluded that some of the information was so sensitive that they suspected the LaRouche group was getting some of it from the Soviets or another government. Graham added that he couldn't prove the contention. <br>Ordered Contacts Stopped <br>Graham, a strong anticommunist, said that in the mid-1970s he ordered the DIA to stop dealing with the LaRouche group. <br>LaRouche associates strongly deny the assertion that the group is a stalking horse of any foreign government. "It's a weak disinformation slander put out by the KGB itself," said LaRouche aide Paul Goldstein. <br>The Heritage Foundation said in its July report that LaRouche takes positions "which in the end advance Soviet foreign policy goals . . . . In the worst case, his group may well be the strangest asset for the KGB's disinformation effort." The charge that the LaRouche-affiliated National Caucus of Labor Committees has ties to Soviet officials was first raised in 1979 by the National Review magazine in an article by a former associate of LaRouche. (It also has been raised in subsequent publications, such as The New Republic article, and in the NBC libel suit.) Some former intelligence officials say they back the ex-member's contention that in the 1970s the LaRouche group maintained contact with the Soviets through Gennady Serebreyakov, an official at the Soviets' United Nations mission. <br>LaRouche, in his letter to The New Republic, confirmed that Serebreyakov approached him sometime in the mid-1970s, and that the two met twice to try to end the feuding between the LaRouche organization and East Bloc nations. LaRouche said the effort was unsuccessful. <br>Jeffrey Steinberg, a top aide to LaRouche, said group members never passed any information to Serebreyakov. Steinberg also said the National Review article was largely incorrect. <br>Steinberg said LaRouche associates frequently invite Soviet officials to their seminars. "We want them there" to know the group's thinking, he said. He said that LaRouche associates have visited the Soviet Union repeatedly. "They run into Soviet officials all the time," Steinberg said. <br>For his part, one retired senior military official, retired Army major general John K. Singlaub, has expressed concern about the group's contacts with him. <br>Singlaub recalled in an interview that in the late 1970s, when he was stationed at Fort McPherson, Ga., after a publicized clash with President Carter over U.S. policy in Korea, he was approached by LaRouche associates, who said they liked his hard-line style. <br>After Singlaub's 1978 retirement, they attended Singlaub's lectures all over the country, he said. They showed him their intelligence reports about Iran, Western Europe and other topics, and Singlaub said some of it was surprisingly good. <br>"Initially I was convinced they were trying to build up credibility that they had a good intelligence network that I could rely on," Singlaub said. <br>In 1979, he continued, the LaRouche supporters began telling him that the U.S. military deserved a "major break" and that Carter had done a disservice to the military. <br>"They said, 'You military people are going to be the savior of the country . . . . We want to work closely with you. We have intelligence that can help you,'" Singlaub recalled. <hr></blockquote><!--EZCODE QUOTE END--><br><br>I'll bet they did.<br><br>There are likely lots of smaller groups out, such as the Finders (who may have moved to Taiwan), who are similar in nature. The point is that I think part of the misinformation has to do with the fact that setting up such groups and "programming" people has gotten to be rather routine. <br><br>And that these same groups are, themselves, pumping out disinformation by the barrel full. <br><br>And the saddest point, really, is that this board is just about completely taken over by purveyors of this same disinfo. I have no doubt that many of those shoveling this stuff sincerely believe in it. And they get really mad if anyone else does NOT believe in it. But it is what it is.<br><br>Some of this b.s. is decidely fascistic in origin. Larouche, as can be witnessed in the above offer to help the military "save" the country if you didn't already know it, has decidedly fascist roots. THIS, by the way Hugh, is the significance of bashing communists with baseball bats, if you combine it with their work for the state apparatus. <br><br>Some of it goes all the way back to the original blood libel. The stories haven't even changed much.<br><br>And while I mourn the use of such anti-Semitic material, I've been quite clear that it's not "Jew hating" per se that is the issue. It's the fact that the anti-Semitic content is like a sign: "Disinfo here." It serves to misdirect from the true culprits (both systemic and individual) as well as to service a culture of paranoia on which fascism thrives. Remember that part of Hitler's success was based on being able to frame an evil "other". It didn't HAVE to be Jews, but as a group who could be classed as outsiders who also enjoy some measure of access to the upper rungs of society, the serve far better than, say, gypsies would. You can confiscate gypsy assets, but that doesn't really profit much, does it?<br><br>Hitler's use of the Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion was explicit. <br><!--EZCODE QUOTE START--><blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr><br>To what an extent the whole existence of this people is based on a continuous lie is shown incomparably by the Protocols of the Wise Men of Zion, so infinitely hated by the Jews. They are based on a forgery, the Frankfurter Zeitung moans and screams once every week: the best proof that they are authentic. What many Jews may do unconsciously is here consciously exposed. And that is what matters. It is completely indifferent from what Jewish brain these disclosures originate; the important thing is that with positively terrifying certainty they reveal the nature and activity of the Jewish people and expose their inner contexts as well as their ultimate final aims. The best criticism applied to them, however, is reality. Anyone who examines the historical development of the last hundred years from the standpoint of this book will at once understand the screaming of the Jewish press. For once this book has become the common property of a people, the Jewish menace may be considered as broken.<hr></blockquote><!--EZCODE QUOTE END--><br><br>Guess Hitler didn't care that they were a forgery either, though I bet he actually read the things. It actually shames me that I have posted on a board of others who still promote this evil lie.<br><br>By the way I recommend a thorough reading of Mein Kampf...a lot of it will be, to readers of this board....disturbingly familiar. One basic premise is that, it's not the big factory owners who exploit the German worker, but solely the parasitical Jew. The point being that the industrialists gets off the hook while only Jewish bankers fall victim to the Reich. As in:<br><br><!--EZCODE QUOTE START--><blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr><br>All this had but one good side: that in proportion as the real leaders or at least the disseminators of Social Democracy came within my vision, my love for my people inevitably grew. For who, in view of the diabolical craftiness of these seducers, could damn the luckless victims? How hard it was, even for me, to get the better of thus race of dialectical liars ! And how futile was such success in dealing with people who twist the truth in your mouth who without so much as a blush disavow the word they have just spoken, and in the very next minute take credit for it after all.<br>No. The better acquainted I became with the Jew, the more forgiving I inevitably became toward the worker. In my eyes the gravest fault was no longer with him, but with all those who did not regard it as worth the trouble to have mercy on him, with iron righteousness giving the son of the people his just deserts, and standing the seducer and corrupter up against the wall.<hr></blockquote><!--EZCODE QUOTE END--><br><br>If you'd like to read all of Mein Kampf, you can do so here:<br><br><!--EZCODE AUTOLINK START--><a href="http://www.hitler.org/writings/Mein_Kampf/mkv1ch02.html">www.hitler.org/writings/M...1ch02.html</a><!--EZCODE AUTOLINK END--><br><br>For those here who don't already own dog-eared copies, I mean.<br><br>But how does this all relate to me, on my birthday, and my wife - fragmented and deathseeking?<br><br>The theories that I keep running across that seek to 'expose' the perpetrators of mind-crimes issue directly from this same cesspool. <br><br>Some would argue that Nazis are nothing to fear these days. And this is true, if by this you mean those who still proudly wear the term. But we brought enough of them over here in project paperclip to have a whole lovely little network of aryan occultists. And since so many in our establishment were sympathetic to them in the first place, they've been quite comfortable, thank you very much. And Kathleen Sullivan says that THIS is the network that had her in it's clutches, not some mythical Illuminati.<br><br>This board is no longer a place that is safe for a survivor to come. Those who seek the truth are being fed lies, albeit often unwittingly. I see at least one survivor believing these stories completely and interpreting her own experiences accordingly. This cannot help but make things worse. They are believing the lies put out by the very perpetrators themselves. It is a sick and twisted game.<br><br>There are conspiracies...and some quite large. But when unsubstantiated, laughably naive, paranoid delusions are become the norm, the real conspirators can rest a little easier. Even one of anti's affidavits can't touch them now.<br><br>This long rant is a present to myself. It will be in the firepit soon, so I hope a few of you I respect note this last paragraph to the pit or find your way there once it has. <br><br>I'd especially like to single out Qutb, who is STILL being accused of being an agent of disinfo and takes it so gracefully. He knows more about mideast politics than anyone else on this board, but you'd never know that by looking at recent characterizations of him. Yeah, he doesn't buy CD so he must be an agent. Meanwhile, if you want to learn about the longstanding relationship between the U.S., Britain and Islamic fundamentalists, maybe you should could just shut up and listen to him awhile.<br>Others I find myself reading include newkid, hmm, gouda, chiggerbit, nomo and I'm sure I'm leaving some out. Good luck fighting the disinfo and delusions. I've gotten weary of it myself.<br><br>Jeff has clearly demonstrated that he's only willing to do so much to moderate this board. People who continue to agent-bait and jew-bait remain or are even unbanned. When Thumper came back it was clear that my side, whatever that might mean, had lost. Probably doesn't amount to much in the grand scheme of things, so I'll acknowledge the loss and move along. <br><br>I may post here and there, so this is no grand goodbye...but it's pretty sad what has happened here. Maybe qutb, gouda and the others can turn it back around. <br><br>Good night, and good luck. <br> <p></p><i></i>
Dreams End
 

Re: On Turning Forty while reading the RI board

Postby thoughtographer » Mon Mar 06, 2006 6:33 pm

Happy Birthday, for whatever that's worth to you.<br><br>I just recently started reading this blog and posting here, but I appreciate your personal insight.<br><br>Not to derail the point of your thread, but: <br><br><!--EZCODE QUOTE START--><blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>But you see, that's the point of this post. EVIDENCE is crucial. And broad generalizations alleging that all conspiracies are part of one ultimate, millenia long conspiracy simply disempower the survivor and mislead the honest researcher. And as far as I'm concerned THAT'S EXACTLY THE POINT OF IT.<hr></blockquote><!--EZCODE QUOTE END--><br><br>To me, this echoes an issue between Budd Hopkins and William Cooper. Though I doubt old Budd has anything to do with the CIA, or any global conspiracy agency for that matter; the fact remains that his methodologies are harmful to the people involved, not to mention the legitimate research community that has to wade through this bullshit. <br><br><!--EZCODE LINK START--><a href="http://www.intrudersfoundation.org/william_cooper.html">"NOTES ON WILLIAM COOPER AND OTHER RECENT CONSPIRICISTS"</a><!--EZCODE LINK END--> <p></p><i></i>
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Re: On Turning Forty while reading the RI board

Postby heath7 » Mon Mar 06, 2006 6:38 pm

Nice story.<br><br>So your point, omnipotent one, is that you don't believe in open discussion? <br><br>To secure ourselves, we should squash the liberty of free thinking?<br><br>I personally think its sick to use one's wife's illness as basis for attacking free speech.<br><br>If you were asking merely for consideration, I might be able to concur, but clearly what you want is to silence those you do not agree with.<br><br> <p></p><i></i>
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on turning Forty

Postby mother » Mon Mar 06, 2006 7:18 pm

No wonder you have so much insight into the "mental instability" of posters like myself! But how are we to know whether or not you are actually married, and that you are not merely creating her to garner sympathy for your personal interests? It would be so easy to create a fictional family member and throw in a lot of little details-even someone as simple as I could do it. There is so much material to choose from, and you're a clever guy.... <p></p><i></i>
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Re: On Turning Forty while reading the RI board

Postby Rigorous Intuition » Mon Mar 06, 2006 7:41 pm

Appreciate your thoughts, DE, and hope to read you again soon.<br><br>Re: my having "clearly demonstrated" that I'm "only willing to do so much to moderate this board." My having done just this much has sucked up more energy than I ever bargained on. I tell you, I've been tempted to walk away from this. Fact is, I need help. I can't do it alone.<br><br>As for Thumper's return, I considered rebanning him outright, but since he's been absent many months I thought it reasonable to give him another chance. If people's thinking can evolve and mature in the real world, then so can that of posters here. The rules still stand, and if he violates them he'll be banned again.<br> <p></p><i></i>
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Jeff.

Postby slimmouse » Mon Mar 06, 2006 7:57 pm

<br><br> You need help with this forum for sure. <br><br> But, This board is way too important for surrender.<br><br> Any way you can help us to help you ? <p></p><i></i>
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Re: On Turning Forty while reading the RI board

Postby thumperton » Mon Mar 06, 2006 8:09 pm

Please go out and buy a King James Bible, not the perverted 'New Living Translation' editions, and begin fasting and prayer and cast these demons out of her invoking the blood of Jesus. This is the only way.<br><br>God bless my friend. <p></p><i>Edited by: <A HREF=http://p216.ezboard.com/brigorousintuition.showUserPublicProfile?gid=thumperton@rigorousintuition>thumperton</A> at: 3/6/06 5:12 pm<br></i>
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Re: On Turning Forty while reading the RI board

Postby thumperton » Mon Mar 06, 2006 8:13 pm

<!--EZCODE QUOTE START--><blockquote><strong><em>Quote:</em></strong><hr>As for Thumper's return, I considered rebanning him outright, but since he's been absent many months I thought it reasonable to give him another chance. If people's thinking can evolve and mature in the real world, then so can that of posters here. The rules still stand, and if he violates them he'll be banned again.<hr></blockquote><!--EZCODE QUOTE END-->I thank you for the second chance, mr. Jeff <!--EZCODE EMOTICON START :) --><img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/smile.gif ALT=":)"><!--EZCODE EMOTICON END--> <p></p><i></i>
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slimmouse

Postby Rigorous Intuition » Mon Mar 06, 2006 8:18 pm

<!--EZCODE ITALIC START--><em>Any way you can help us to help you ?</em><!--EZCODE ITALIC END--><br><br>Thanks for asking, and I should have asked sooner. Off the top of my head another moderator or two would be great. I'll think about how that could work and get back to the board. <p></p><i></i>
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.

Postby thumperton » Mon Mar 06, 2006 8:19 pm

what about the possibility of avatars? <p></p><i></i>
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On turning 40

Postby greencrow0 » Mon Mar 06, 2006 8:44 pm

I was drawn into your story about caring for your mentally ill wife then suddenly you took a dog leg into a rant against those who believe in controlled demolition.<br><br>It would seem to me that if in fact your wife exists, then you and she are probably not good for each other, each feeding off the other's issues....must be hell on a day to day basis.<br><br>I have seen these 'fatal attraction' relationships in real life and there is nothing more tragic. I had a relative who suffered from schizophrenia and went to group therapy...there he met a woman who had bi polar....they had a living hell together till he finally committed suicide two years ago.<br><br>Unfortunately, their only child, a son, is now seriously mentally ill and in and out of hospitals.<br><br>Mental illness is a terrible scourge...and the only thing worse is is two mentally ill people who form a relationship and double their suffering...or in the case of my relatives....tripling it by having a child.<br><br>Regards,<br><br>GC <p></p><i></i>
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Re: On turning 40

Postby professorpan » Mon Mar 06, 2006 9:18 pm

My best wishes for you. My surprise 40th birthday party was this weekend -- perhaps we graduated from Langley in the same class, eh? <br><br>An excellent, heartfelt post, and -- of course -- it immediately became fresh meat for those who love to rip into anything that dares to speak some truth. <br><br>I hope you and your wife find some peace.<br><br> <p></p><i></i>
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Re: On Turning Forty while reading the RI board

Postby Project Willow » Mon Mar 06, 2006 9:26 pm

I understand your frustration DE, but I am thankful you deleted the Svali post. It gets a little fuzzy when survivors are being used to put out disinfo. I certainly agree that challenging people who are presenting questionable theories and creating harm in the process is a necessary thing. It was the lampooning method that I felt was both unfair and may serve the opposite of your purpose. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to speak out as a survivor, and we are already subject to so much rejection and ridicule. I could see that post having the opposite effect, even if the criticism underlying it may be accurate. Survivors who know svali would only see the attack, not the message. The sides end up either silenced or in entrenched camps. Does that make sense? <br><br><br>All of these discoveries you've made that may impact your personal situation, must be a tremendous shock. Is it possible that has contributed to some of your frustration? Despite of our recent disagreement, I hope that my input, in some way, has been helpful. But no matter what you've read or heard or studied, you can take comfort in this: somewhere inside of your wife, she knows everything that happened, she has all the info you really need. <br><br> <p></p><i></i>
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Re: .

Postby Qutb » Mon Mar 06, 2006 9:36 pm

Happy Birthday DE...<br><br>That "rant" was in fact a wonderful post, which explained very succinctly not only the pitfalls of conspiracy research, but the consequences of falling into those pitfalls. <br><br>I think many view this type of material as entertainment, and researching it as a kind of hobby, not intended to have any real-world consequences. Others are consumed by hate and anger and are looking for justifications for it. And there is the "paranoid personality", those who simply can't "dis-believe" a conspiracy once it has entered their mind. I'm sure there are other "types" familiar to those who have spent some time researching these topics. For various reasons, discernment and caution are typically relegated to the back seat.<br><br>Which is of course why disinformationists have an easier time contaminating this field than any other. There will always be plenty of dupes to perpetuate whatever untrue information has been introduced into the system. The Protocols are as popular as ever... which was shocking to me, when I realized it. And paradoxically, the more fantastic a story is, the easier it gets accepted, it seems. Just look at the popularity of David Icke, for chrissakes, the latest Messiah of the deranged and delusional. It's scary. And of course, all the more so because he's pushing some notions which, according to Kathlees Sullivan, have their origins in disinfo directed at mind control victims/survivors.<br><br>The attacks on you in this thread are entirely predictable. You've burst some people's bubbles, and they're angry for it. I've realized long ago that many who are into "conspiracy" subjects aren't really interested in honest research and discussion. Just as commonly, people fix an object for their anger and frustration, and then proceed to blame this (ethnic group/nationality/country/party/religion/person/family...) for as many of the world's ills as they can come up with. For those people, counterarguments are just distractions.<br><br>Some people have proposed that this board should be an "open-source intelligence operation". I like that thought, but it doesn't quite operate that way today.<br><br>I've though I should stop posting here several times, but for some reason I keep coming back, "like a cigarette smoker", as Havanagila put it. Some good information and some good articles get posted here... if I don't stop by, I wonder what I'm missing. I hope to see you posting more here, DE, because you're probably the poster I've learned the most from. I miss proldic's perspective on things. And Robert Reed too seems to have had enough. Though I often disagree with him, he's a nice counterweight to the more paranoid material.<br><br>On the other hand, will spending less time on RI mean that you'll have more time to spend on your blog? <!--EZCODE EMOTICON START ;) --><img src=http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/wink.gif ALT=";)"><!--EZCODE EMOTICON END--> <br><br>BTW, Your thesis - that mind control is actually <!--EZCODE ITALIC START--><em>easy</em><!--EZCODE ITALIC END--> once you know how to do it - is interesting. As you say, it <!--EZCODE ITALIC START--><em>would</em><!--EZCODE ITALIC END--> explain a lot.<br><br><br><br> <p></p><i></i>
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Forty

Postby Avalon » Mon Mar 06, 2006 11:07 pm

I found my fortieth birthday to be an empowering one. It was as if all that came before was just practice, and the real work, and use of my talents and skills, was just beginning in earnest.<br><br>May you find the strength, wisdom, and grace that you need as you face the many challenges at this time in your life.<br><br> <p></p><i></i>
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