Welcome to the FIRE SALE!!!

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In an effort to reduce the United States' $8 Trillion deficit it has created since assuming office in 2001, the Bush administration has approached several of our lender nations with barter proposals, which have been met with mixed reactions overseas. Some have expressed interest however. Among them:<br><br>The <!--EZCODE UNDERLINE START--><span style="text-decoration:underline">People's Republic of China</span><!--EZCODE UNDERLINE END--> has agreed to assume ownership and control of Mount Rushmore in South Dakota, Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming and Idaho, and the Grand Canyon National Monument in Arizona. Some initial modifications are planned for each. <br><br><!--EZCODE UNDERLINE START--><span style="text-decoration:underline">Mount Rushmore</span><!--EZCODE UNDERLINE END--> will have additional likenesses of Buddha, Confucius, and Mao tse Tung chiseled into the edifice beginning to the right of Abe Lincoln. <br><!--EZCODE UNDERLINE START--><span style="text-decoration:underline">Yellowstone National Park</span><!--EZCODE UNDERLINE END--> will phase out Smokey Bear in lieu of Smokey Panda. Old Faithful will be covered over and the output converted into source for a spa and steam room. And popcorn will be replaced by Rice Krispies and soft drinks replaced by green tea at all concession stands. <br><br><!--EZCODE UNDERLINE START--><span style="text-decoration:underline">The Grand Canyon National Monument</span><!--EZCODE UNDERLINE END--> will be brightly painted wall to wall with Chinese dragons and murals of the heroes of the Revolution. The mule trains that journey up and down the trails will be replaced by human drawn rickshaws. And Phantom Ranch at the bottom of the trail will be paved over, replaced by a scale sized replica of Tieneman Square, including an Olympic swimming pool, a waterslide, and ping pong tables. <br><br><!--EZCODE UNDERLINE START--><span style="text-decoration:underline">Japan</span><!--EZCODE UNDERLINE END--> has agreed to assume ownership of the States of Washington and Oregon, with few changes made other than Japan will have 100% fishing and whaling rights from the Washington-Oregon coast all the way across the Pacific to the Sea of Japan; and lumber rights to include the entire acreage of both states. They will require that Sushi be served in all Starbuck's coffee houses. They also require that Bill Gates become a Japanese national, and agree never to leave the State of Washington. <br><br><!--EZCODE UNDERLINE START--><span style="text-decoration:underline">Saudi Arabia</span><!--EZCODE UNDERLINE END--> will assume control of Puerto Rico, the U.S. Virgin Islands, Guam, Catalina Island, Las Vegas, Nevada, Roswell, New Mexico, Lake Superior including the upper peninsula of Michigan, and two of the eight Hawaiian Islands, yet to be determined. Gold plated Royal palaces are slated for each of these locations. Mosques have also been discussed. <br><br><!--EZCODE UNDERLINE START--><span style="text-decoration:underline">Australia</span><!--EZCODE UNDERLINE END--> will be assuming control of all Disney theme parks on U.S. soil. Minor theme changes include: Mickey Mouse will be phased out for Kookoo the Koala, Pluto the dog will retire in lieu of Denny the Dingo, and Goofy the dog will be replaced by Skippy the Kangaroo. The only beverage available in the parks will be Foster's Premium Lager, and only in 32 ounce cups; and all rest rooms will have pay toilets. <br><br>Finally, <!--EZCODE UNDERLINE START--><span style="text-decoration:underline">Columbia</span><!--EZCODE UNDERLINE END--> has made offers on the cities of El Paso, Texas, San Diego, California, and Nogales, Arizona, only, however, on the condition the U.S. can negotiate a three-way deal with Mexico to include the corresponding border towns of Ciudad Juarez, Tia Juana, and Nogales, Chihuahua. <br><br> <p>“Iff’n I could write, I’d write my Congersmun a letter; iff’n he could read.” Lil Abner</p><i></i>