by dbeach » Sat Dec 24, 2005 2:48 pm
GDNO1 <br><br>LINKS did not work<br><br>PEACE ON EARTH to U and yours and all who read this <br><br><!--EZCODE AUTOLINK START--><a href="http://www.arlo.net/lyrics/pause-claus.shtml">www.arlo.net/lyrics/pause-claus.shtml</a><!--EZCODE AUTOLINK END--><br><br>"The Pause of Mr. Claus <br>words and music by Arlo Guthrie<br><br>This next song we're going to dedicate to a great American<br>organization. Tonight I'd like to dedicate this to our boys<br>in the FBI.<br><br>Well, wait a minute. It's hard to be an FBI man. I mean, first<br>of all, being an FBI man, you have to be over 40 years old.<br>And the reason is that it takes at least 25 years with the<br>organization to be that much of a bastard. It's true. You just<br>can't join, you know. It needs an atmosphere where your<br>natural bastardness can grow and develop and take a<br>meaningful shape in today's complex society.<br><br>But that's not why I want to dedicate the song to the FBI. I<br>mean, the job that they have to do is a drag. I mean, they have<br>to follow people around, you know. That's part of their job.<br>Follow me around.<br><br>I'm out on the highway and I'm drivin' down the road and I<br>run out of gasoline. I pull over to the side of the road. They<br>gotta pull over too - make believe that they ran out, you<br>know.<br><br>I go to get some gasoline. They have to figure out whether<br>they should stick with the car or follow me. Suppose I don't<br>come back and they're stayin' with the car.<br><br>Or if I fly on the airplanes, I could fly half fare because I'm 12<br>to 22. And they gotta pay the full fare. But the thing is that<br>when you pay the full fare, you have to get on the airplane<br>first, so that they know how many seats are left over for the<br>half fare kids. Right? And sometimes there aren't any seats<br>left over, and sometimes there are, but that doesn't mean that<br>you have to go.<br><br>Suppose that he gets on and fills up the last seat, so you can't<br>get on. Then he gets off then you can get on. What's he gonna<br>do?<br><br>Well, it's a drag for him. But that's not why I want to dedicate<br>the song to the FBI.<br><br>During these hard days and hard weeks, everybody always<br>has it bad once in a while. You know, you have a bad time of<br>it, and you always have a friend who says "Hey man, you<br>ain't got it that bad. Look at that guy." And you at that<br>guy, and he's got it worse than you. And it makes you feel<br>better that there's somebody that's got it worse than you.<br><br>But think of the last guy. For one minute, think of the last<br>guy. Nobody's got it worse than that guy. Nobody in the<br>whole world. That guy...he's so alone in the world that he<br>doesn't even have a street to lay in for a truck to run him over.<br>He's out there with nothin'. Nothin's happenin' for that cat.<br><br>And all that he has to do to create a little excitement in his<br>own life is to bum a dime from somewhere, call up the FBI.<br>Say "FBl?", they say "Yes", say "I think Uncle Ho and Chair-<br>man Mao and their friends are comin' over for dinner" (click)<br>Hang up the phone.<br><br>And within two minutes, and not two minutes from when he<br>hangs up the phone, but two minutes from when he first put<br>the dime in, they got 30,000 feet of tape rollin'; files on tape;<br>pictures, movies, dramas, actions on tape. But then they send<br>out a half a million people all over the entire world, the globe,<br>they find out all they can about this guy.<br><br>'Cause there's a number of questions involved in the guy. I<br>mean, if he was the last guy in the world, how'd he get a dime<br>to call the FBI? There are plenty of people that aren't the last<br>guys that can't get dimes. He comes along and he gets a dime.<br><br>I mean, if he had to bum a dime to call the FBI, how was he<br>gonna serve dinner for all of those people? How could the<br>last guy make dinner for all those people. And if he could<br>make dinner, and was gonna make dinner, then why did he<br>call the FBI?<br><br>They find out all of those questions within two minutes. And<br>that's a great thing about America. I mean, this is the only<br>country in the world...l mean, well, it's not the only country<br>in the world that could find stuff out in two minutes, but it's<br>the only country in the world that would take two minutes<br>for that guy.<br><br>Other countries would say "Hey, he's the last guy...screw<br>him", you know? But in America, there is no discrimination,<br>and there is no hypocrisy,'cause they'll get anybody. And that's<br>a wonderful thing about America.<br><br>And that's why tonight I'd like to dedicate it to every FBI<br>man in the audience. I know you can't say nothin', you know,<br>you can't get up and say "Hi!" cause then everybody knows<br>that you're an FBI man and that's a drag for you and your<br>friends.<br><br>They're not really your friends, are they? I mean, so you can't<br>get up and say nothin' 'cause other wise, you gotta get sent<br>back to the factory and that's a drag for you and it's an<br>expense for the government, and that's a drag for you.<br><br>We're gonna sing you this Christmas carol. It's for all you<br>bastards out there in the audience tonight. It's called "The<br>Pause of Mr. Claus".<br><br>Why do you sit there so strange?<br>Is it because you are beautiful?<br>You must think you are deranged<br>Why do police guys beat on peace guys?<br><br>You must think Santa Clause weird<br>He has long hair and a beard<br>Giving his presents for free<br>Why do police guys mess with peace guys?<br><br>Let's get Santa Clause 'cause;<br>Santa Clause has a red suit<br>He's a communist<br>And a beard, and long hair<br>Must be a pacifist<br>What's in the pipe that he's smoking?<br><br>Mister Clause sneaks in your home at night.<br>He must be a dope fiend, to put you up tight<br>Why do police guys beat on peace guys?"<br> <p></p><i></i>