
Nepali Radical Women
Moderators: Elvis, DrVolin, Jeff
And the gay rights movement has . . . adopted largely an identity politics; we were born this way, we can’t help it, and we should have civil rights just like anyone else. But the born-lesbian/lesbian-as-identity politics of the gay movements erases precisely what is most radically political about being a lesbian: that we are women resisting heterosexist patriarchy and valuing women as human beings—and that other women can choose to do this too.
—Jennie Ruby, “Is the Lesbian Future Feminist?” off our backs: a women’s news journal, Vol. 26, October 1, 1996
I am told that in order for me to fight for queer rights that I should tell people that my sexuality is biologically determined, that I was “born this way.” I can’t. That is like saying that I was born with an unwanted affliction and assumes that it is necessary and even desirable to become heterosexual. Sexuality is not an innate orientation as most would believe, but rather a preference that in some way biology may play a role in defining.
—Daryl Vocat, 2000
Homosexuality was invented by a straight world dealing with its own bisexuality. But finding this difficult, and preferring not to admit it, it invented a pariah state, a leper colony for the incorrigible whose very existence, when tolerated openly, was admonition to all. We queers keep everyone straight as whores keep matrons virtuous.
—Kate Millett, Flying, part 1, 1974
“It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others, of measuring one’s soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity.”
- W.E.B. Dubois
“I believe that many of the destructive lessons taught in our childhood homes is the result of the desperation of our parents. They were children once and learned those same lessons. I don’t know how we begin to unlearn that behavior.”
–Essex Hemphill
“For while we wait for another Malcolm, another Martin, another charismatic Black leader to validate our struggles, old Black people are freezing to death in tenements, Black children are being brutalized and slaughtered in the streets, or lobotomized by the television, and the percentage of Black families living below the poverty line is higher today than in 1963. And if we wait to put the future into the hands of some new messiah, what happens when those people are shot, or discredited, or tried for murder, or called homosexual, or otherwise disempowered. Do we put our future on hold?
- Audre Lorde
Spa offers massage, facials, shamanic journey
By David Pescovitz Monday, Oct 31
I recently attended a conference at a luxury hotel in Marina, California where the spa brochure lists services like massage, facials, and, er, shamanic journeys. Ostensibly, the shaman is a white dude in southwestern resort ware who will place shells on your body and wave a feather over you as he "engages the forces of nature and the ancestors' ancient wisdom to create lasting changes for physical, mental and emotional well-being." Your shamanic journey includes illumination, soul retrieval, destiny retrieval and divination, and bands of power. Man, bands of power would alone be worth the $250 fee. Click the menu to see it larger. {See original for this]
Learning to unlearn!
The function of capital is to reproduce itself and extract more and more profit. It is not about the survival and health of the people it uses and exploits to operate. It then tricks us to believe that it is actually good; the best system for individual opportunity and growth. Meanwhile as we all struggle against inflation, high rent and unemployment we are alienated from ourselves and each other so we have no sense of our collectivity. Alienation means the loss of self; we have no power or control over the system and the way it abuses and oppresses us. This loss of individual and collective power is vital for maintaining the order of the system, because the ruling class understands that if we develop a sense of love and trust for each other then maybe we might collectively decide to fight such a system and change it so the people might have power; and that work might be shared collectively for the survival of entire communities. How does this happen? It is when the oppressed take these ideas and translate them into a material force and usher our society into a new historical epoch; hopefully a socialist one. It is the role of revolutionaries in revolutionary organizations to quicken this process and help educate the oppressed of this historical task; make them conscious of a revolutionary people’s history they are robbed of by the bourgeois ideology that dominates public education.
But in order for revolutionaries to embody these alternative values and spread dreams of a healthy, loving, communal world we must do work on ourselves to overcome the alienation and internalized oppression that isolates us from each other and makes us do harm to each other. Self-care is revolutionary work. Alienation makes it so hard to learn to trust and love each other, because we are not taught those skills. We are taught to fear each other and look out for ourselves. This reality makes it so difficult to have healthy, loving relationships (friendships and lovers), that aren’t shrouded in fear and co-dependency. We are not taught to care for ourselves or each other. The one relationship model offered to us is the heterosexual family, whose real function is to support the capitalist division of labor through this domestic system of reproducing human labor through the oppression of women in the home. And if you are a queer woman of color you are definitely not taught how to love another woman. It’s not even an option in the heteronormative relationships we are pressured to accept. We must silence our desire in general, and if it is queer desire we must swallow them deep inside ourselves. As women, we are not given the tools to have loving relationships with other women. We are taught to devalue women the way patriarchy does; to unleash our anger on each other.
As I have been hurt and have hurt others I am trying to learn all these lessons about loving and accepting love in order to overcome the alienation as a healthy queer revolutionary woman. I think a lot of it has to do with trust, and overcoming the way I have hardened myself in order to protect myself from people breaking or abusing my trust. I think a large part of this has to do with the pains of my early childhood years, which are so crucial for your development into your adult years. I developed unhealthy behavior patterns as a response to the conditions I was raised in that were never really challenged by the people around me so I could re-learn better behavior. A large part of this has to do with the abuse and neglect of my father and having him break over and over again my trust, faith and love for him. This, combined with early heartbreak, made me swallow my pain like stones that I buried deep within me. This process hardened me and made it difficult for me to trust and love someone. I have realized this through my last two failed attempts at love and relationships. The most recent one being particularly devastating, because It was so clear that the barrier preventing the relationship from growing was my fear and lack of trust of her. My past feelings of rejection and suspicion of people made it difficult for me to ever open up and believe that she could have real love for me. Whenever there was a slight opportunity for me to assume the worst I did and I think in some ways we are both responsible for that, but I take a lot of responsibility due to my lack of trust. It is rather tragic to think about the ways we self sabotage our own happiness and abilities for love in a world that is not the most loving. But I am also hopeful in myself, and the loving radical community around me, to begin to the process of unearthing these stones within me and each other.
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