Steely Dan's "The Royal Scam"

[82_28]

Ever since the Haiti quake I have been flashing on the Steely Dan song "Haitian Divorce". I decided to look into it further. Always been a huge Steely Dan fan too btw, just never paid too much attention to Fagan's lyrics. Well, I am baffled now. Does anybody know of any kind of deciphering that's been done on these lyrics? What is meant? I'm off to re-buy the disc now, as it was stolen from my car years ago. Until then, check this out:

LYRICS | THE ROYAL SCAM (1976)

KID CHARLEMAGNE

While the music played you worked by candlelight
Those San Francisco nights
You were the best in town
Just by chance you crossed the diamond with the pearl
You turned it on the world
That's when you turned the world around
Did you feel like Jesus
Did you realize
That you were a champion in their eyes

On the hill the stuff was laced with kerosene
But yours was kitchen clean
Everyone stopped to stare at your technicolor motor home
Every A-Frame had your number on the wall
You must have had it all
You'd go to L.A. on a dare
And you'd go it alone
Could you live forever
Could you see the day
Could you feel your whole world fall apart and fade away

CHORUS:
Get along, get along Kid Charlemagne
Get along Kid Charlemagne

Now your patrons have all left you in the red
Your low rent friends are dead
This life can be very strange
All those dayglow freaks who used to paint the face
They've joined the human race
Some things will never change
Son you were mistaken
You are obsolete
Look at all the white men on the street

CHORUS

Clean this mess up else we'll all end up in jail
Those test tubes and the scale
Just get them all out of here
Is there gas in the car
Yes, there's gas in the car
I think the people down the hall
Know who you are

Careful what you carry
'Cause the man is wise
You are still an outlaw in their eyes

CHORUS

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CAVES OF ALTAMIRA

I recall when I was small
How I spent my days alone
The busy world was not for me
So I went and found my own
I would climb the garden wall
With a candle in my hand
I'd hide inside a hall of rock and sand

On the stone an ancient hand
In a faded yellow-green
Made alive a worldly wonder
Often told but never seen
Now and ever bound to labor
On the sea and in the sky
Every man and beast appeared
A friend as real as I

CHORUS:
Before the fall when they wrote it on the wall
When there wasn't even any Hollywood
They heard the call
And they wrote it on the wall
For you and me we understood

Can it be this sad design
Could be the very same
A wooly man without a face
And a beast without a name
Nothin' here but history
Can you see what has been done
Memory rush over me
Now I step into the sun

CHORUS

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DON'T TAKE ME ALIVE

Agents of the law
Luckless pedestrian
I know you're out there
With rage in your eyes and your megaphones
Saying all is forgiven
Mad Dog surrender
How can I answer
A man of my mind can do anything

CHORUS:
I'm a bookkeeper's son
I don't want to shoot no one
Well I crossed my old man back in Oregon
Don't take me alive
Got a case of dynamite
I could hold out here all night
Yes I crossed my old man back in Oregon
Don't take me alive

Can you hear the evil crowd
The lies and the laughter
I hear my inside
The mechanized hum of another world
Where no sun is shining
No red light flashing
Here in this darkness
I know what I've done
I know all at once who I am

CHORUS

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SIGN IN STRANGER

Have you heard about the boom on Mizar Five
People got to shout to stay alive
They don't even have policeman one
Doesn't matter where you been or what you've done
Do you have a dark spot on your past
Leave it to my man he'll fix it fast
Pepe has a scar from ear to ear
He will make your mug shots disappear

CHORUS:
You zombie
Be born again my friend
Won't you sign in stranger

Do you like to take a yo-yo for a ride
Zombie I can see you're qualified
Walk around collecting Turkish union dues
They will call you sir and shine your shoes
Or maybe you would like to see the show
You'll enjoy the Cafe D'Escargot
Folks are in a line around the block
Just to see her do the can-can-Jacques

CHORUS

Love or leave her, yellow fever
Sure, it's all in the game
And who are you
Just another scurvy brother

CHORUS

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THE FEZ

No I'm never gonna do it without the fez on
Oh no
No I'm never gonna do it without the fez on
Oh no
That's what I am
Please understand
I wanna be your holy man

No I'm never gonna do it without the fez on
Oh no
Ain't never gonna do it without the fez on
Oh no
That's what I am
Please understand
I wanna be your holy man

No I'm never gonna do it without the fez on
Oh no
Don't make me do it without the fez on
Oh no
That's what I am please understand

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GREEN EARRINGS

Cold, daring
No flies on me
Sorry, angel
I must take what I see

Green earrings
I remember
The rings of rare design
I remember
The look in your eyes
I don't mind

Greek medallion
Sparkles when you smile
Sorry, angel
I get hungry like a child

Green earrings
I remember
The rings of rare design
I remember
The look in your eyes
I don't mind

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HAITIAN DIVORCE

Babs and Clean Willie were in love they said
So in love the preacher's face turned red
Soon everybody knew the thing was dead
He shouts, she bites, they wrangle through the night
She go crazy
Got to make a getaway
Papa say

CHORUS:
Oh - no hesitation
No tears and no hearts breakin'
No remorse
Oh - congratulations
This is your Haitian Divorce

She takes the taxi to the good hotel
Bon marché as far as she can tell
She drinks the zombie from the cocoa shell
She feels alright, she get it on tonight
Mister driver
Take me where the music play
Papa say

CHORUS

At the Grotto
In the greasy chair
Sits the Charlie with the lotion and the kinky hair
When she smiled, she said it all
The band was hot so
They danced the famous Merengue
Now we dolly back
Now we fade to black

Tearful reunion in the USA
Day by day those memories fade away
Some babies grow in a peculiar way
It changed, it grew, and everybody knew
Semi-mojo
Who's this kinky so-and-so?
Papa go

CHORUS

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EVERYTHING YOU DID

Where did the bastard run
Is he still around
Now you gotta tell me everything you did baby
I'm gonna get a gun
Shoot the lover down
Are you gonna tell me everything you did baby

Traces are everywhere
In our happy home
Now you better tell me everything you did baby
I jumped out of my easy chair
It was not my own
Now I want to hear about everything you did baby

I never knew you
You were a roller skater
You gonna show me later
Turn up the Eagles the neighbors are listening

You know how people talk
I wonder what they say
I think you better tell me everything you did baby

I never knew you
You were a roller skater
You gonna show me later

You never came to me
When you were so inclined
Yes you could have told me everything you did baby
I know where baby's at
I know your filthy mind
Now you're gonna do me everything you did baby

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THE ROYAL SCAM

And they wandered in
From the city of St. John
Without a dime
Wearing coats that shined
Both red and green
Colors from their sunny island
From their boats of iron
They looked upon the promised land
Where surely life was sweet
On the rising tide
To New York City
Did they ride into the street

See the glory
Of the royal scam

They are hounded down
To the bottom of a bad town
Amid the ruins
Where they learn to fear
An angry race of fallen kings
Their dark companions
While the memory of
Their southern sky was clouded by
A savage winter
Every patron saint
Hung on the wall, shared the room
With twenty sinners

See the glory
Of the royal scam

By the blackened wall
He does it all
He thinks he's died and gone to heaven
Now the tale is told
By the old man back home
He reads the letter
How they are paid in gold
Just to babble in the back room
All night and waste their time
And they wandered in
From the city of St. John without a dime

See the glory
Of the royal scam

[American Dream]

"Kid Charlemagne" was supposed to be based on the underground intrigues of Owsley Stanley, the LSD chemist.



Don't get me started...

[dbcooper41]

skunk baxter played guitar for steely dan on earlier albums,
though not on the royal scam. he's got an interesting resume.
i've always assumed steely dan to be part of the laurel canyon
thing.

http://guitar.about.com/od/guitaristsat ... rofile.htm



Learning Guitar Scales
Born:
Dec 13, 1948 in Washington, D.C.
Noted Guitar:
Plexiglass Roland GR 505
Best Known For:
Steely Dan, The Doobie Brothers
Origin of Nickname "Skunk":
Unknown (and he's not telling)
Select Jeff Baxter Discography:
2003 The Yardbirds Birdland
2002 Nils Lofgren Breakaway Angel
1996 Edgar Winter The Real Deal
1985 Johnny Gill Chemistry
1981 Nazareth Fool Circle
1980 John Cougar Mellencamp Nothin' Matters & What If It Did
1980 Bryan Adams Bryan Adams
1979 Freddie Hubbard Skagly
1978 Gene Simmons Gene Simmons
1978 Doobie Brothers Minute by Minute
1977 Little Feat Time Loves a Hero
1976 Doobie Brothers Takin' it to the Streets
1975 Joni Mitchell Hissing of Summer Lawns
1975 Doobie Brothers Stampede
1974 Steely Dan Pretzel Logic
1973 Steely Dan Countdown to Ecstasy
1972 Steely Dan Can't Buy a Thrill
1969 Ultimate Spinach Ultimate Spinach III
A Brief Musical Bio of Jeff Baxter:
Guitarist Jeff "Skunk" Baxter certainly has had a diverse
professional career. The guitarist made his first mainstream
appearance on record as a member of the psychadelic pop band
Ultimate Spinach. He has played extensively with two of the
most popular bands of the 70's - The Doobie Brothers and
Steely Dan. Skunk produced albums by Nazareth and others.
Jeff has had 17 gold records, eight platinum records, and
has been awarded two Grammies. And, in 2001, Baxter garnered
a position as a defense analyst and consultant to US
Congressmen on military defense. Yes... you read that correctly. Although Baxter remains an active working musician, the guitarist has found work as "a defense analyst and a consultant to US Congressmen on
Military defense and national security issues, mostly in the
area of missile defense."
When asked (in 2001) whether President Bush has the right to
explore the hotly debated missile defense system, the
decidedly Republican Baxter stated "it's a changing world,
and a lot of people haven't caught up to it yet. Somebody
has to take the initiative."
Despite being a rather flamboyant personality, and a
terrific guitarist, Jeff Baxter's online presence is
surprisingly small. No web sites dedicated to Skunk... no
lengthy online bios, and no mp3 sites. The following are the
best resources the web has to offer on guitarist Jeff
"Skunk" Baxter:

Today Show spotlight on Jeff Baxter - Here's a 2005 video
segment on Jeff Baxter that details Skunk's work as a
consultant for the US Military.

Dan Cross
Guitar Guide

Privacy PolicyOur StoryWrite for About
©2010 About.com, a part of The New York Times Company.

All rights reserved.

[Sepka]

From http://www.granatino.com/sdresource/18haitian.htm

Fagen takes up the story: "If you've been paying attention, you'll know she's in a drugged stupor by now and probably doesn't know anything about it. She is later... er... impregnated by this exotic gentleman. Later she is reunited with Clean Willy and they have some rather bizarre offspring ("Who's this kinky so-and-so")."

Apparently Haiti is known for quickie divorces: http://www.nytimes.com/1986/07/12/style ... vorce.html

[82_28]

Holy shit sepka. Thanks for that! I know it's a little late. I just spent my night listening to Steely Dan and thought "oh yeah, I started that thread".

[82_28]

"It's very gratifying to see `The Royal Scam' doing well in Britain. I really enjoyed playing for English audiences -- in fact, I enjoyed everything about Perfidious Albion I saw in my short visit this year."

Perfidious Albion?

Very odd. I'm humming the song "Don't Take Me Alive" in my head now after reading the words "Perfidious Albion".

It seems to be lyrically and sonically "coded" within the song.

I'm a bookkeepers son
I don't wanna shoot no one
But I crossed my old man back in Oregon
Don't take me alive

Perfidious Albion fits in all of the rhyming lines.

These lyrics are crazy.

BTW. Is Chevy Chase's real name Chevy Chase? Cos there's that city in Maryland with the same name. Steely Dan formed when all were going to college at William and Mary's. Chevy was their original drummer.

And yeah. Tones of Laurel Canyon, I do agree.

[Sepka]

Holy shit sepka. Thanks for that!

You're quite welcome. And they do have a website, you know: http://www.steelydan.com/index.html

And Chevy Chase in Maryland is named after Cheviot Chase is Scotland, which is somewhat famous in its own right as the scene of the Battle of Otterburn, between the Earl Percy and the Lord Douglas: http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Ballad_of_Chevy_Chase . From certain perspectives, 'Perfidious Albion' might fit.

[82_28]

Hmmmm. Thanks again Sepka.

[anothershamus]

I'm a HUGE Steely Dan fan from way back, (80, when I got off the pop radio pablum) and I never did look at all the lyrics. Man I knew they had the shit but these are terrific. CAVES OF ALTAMIRA tells the story of the little boys that found the cave paintings, then he riffs on the anachronistic difference between the new media (hollywood) and the ancient cave paintings. Really strong imagery. I want to dig up my cd and download it to my mp3 so I can listen to it at work.

Thanks for posting this.

On Edit:
I was youtubing for Steely Dan and ended up watching a few of The Kinks, (Apeman, Dedicated follower of Fashion, Young Conservatives) just as good different style.

[Stephen Morgan]

"Skunk's Work"/Skunk Works

[82_28]

bump

listening to it again and thought of this thread I began I suppose about a year ago. . .

Anything new in the royal scam?

[American Dream]

Skunk Baxter, Dan Aykroyd to headline CIA charity benefit
JULY 1ST, 2010 | CIA | POSTED BY STEPHEN LOSEY




Skunk Baxter in his pre-Pentagon days.
Photo from Carl Lender via Wikipedia.


The most unlikely defense consultant ever will perform in Arlington, Va., next Thursday at a benefit for families of fallen CIA officers.

Steely Dan and Doobie Brothers guitarist Jeff “Skunk” Baxter will appear July 8 at a charity dinner for the CIA Officers Memorial Foundation, the Intelligence and National Security Alliance announced yesterday. All proceeds from the dinner will help support the families of CIA officers who die on active duty, such as paying for college tuition for their children. “Blues Brothers” and “Ghostbusters” star Dan Aykroyd will deliver the keynote and perform with Skunk and his band.

It isn’t surprising to see Skunk Baxter help raise money for CIA families. He’s a unique guy, to say the least, and his acceptance into national security circles over the last quarter-century is an interesting story. In the mid-80s, Skunk became fascinated with defense weaponry and technology, and educated himself by reading journals on the subject. He wrote a prescient five-page paper on how Aegis cruisers could be converted into theater missile defense systems, and sent it to Rep. Dana Rohrabacher, R-Calif., which launched his defense consulting career. He’s probably the only man in history to hold both eight platinum records and the chairmanship of a civilian advisory panel on ballistic missile defense.

Baxter has participated in numerous war game exercises at the Pentagon and, believe it or not, is respected for his creativity and unconventional thinking by military leaders. (He apparently makes a good bad guy, and the Wall Street Journal said he is frequently called in to help the Pentagon anticipate terrorist tactics and strategies.) NASA in 2005 named him to its Exploration Systems Advisory Committee, and he has also worked with the Missile Defense Agency and National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency.

After the jump, read about my brief encounter with Skunk back in 2001.

At the time, my father was a contractor working for the Ballistic Missile Defense Organization, MDA’s predecessor, in the Navy Annex building, which overlooks the Pentagon. BMDO held a cookout on the Fourth of July that year in the Navy Annex parking lot, complete with a pickup rock band made up of engineers and other staffers. (I can’t remember the band’s name, but it was something cheerful and missile defense-related, like The Multiple Kill Vehicles.) And they brought in two ringers: Local Washington singer Mary Ann Redmond and Skunk Baxter. I normally would have skipped my dad’s office party, but this, I had to see.

The band played a set of classic rock songs like “Crossroads.” They weren’t bad, but even with Skunk on their side, the rhythm section wasn’t exactly blowing me away. It sounded more or less like any other band of 50-something suburban dads, just with a better lead guitarist.

But when they reached the end of the set, Skunk ripped into the opening guitar solo for “Reelin’ In The Years,” and the rest of the band suddenly snapped to. They stepped up their game to keep up with Skunk’s intensity, and nailed the riffs in the bridge.

The crowd cheered, and I marveled at the sheer weirdness of the situation. I had just seen a bona fide rock star (from a hippie band named after pot) play his biggest hit, with a three-star Air Force general standing just offstage, practically in the shadow of the Pentagon. Only in America.

http://blogs.federaltimes.com/federal-t ... y-benefit/

[IanEye]

Skunk Baxter, Dan Aykroyd to headline CIA charity benefit
JULY 1ST, 2010 | CIA | POSTED BY STEPHEN LOSEY

Steely Dan and Doobie Brothers guitarist Jeff “Skunk” Baxter will appear July 8 at a charity dinner for the CIA Officers Memorial Foundation, the Intelligence and National Security Alliance announced yesterday. All proceeds from the dinner will help support the families of CIA officers who die on active duty, such as paying for college tuition for their children. “Blues Brothers” and “Ghostbusters” star Dan Aykroyd will deliver the keynote and perform with Skunk and his band.

10-26-2007
http://rigorousintuition.ca/board2/viewtopic.php?p=140391#p140391

wait, so now you are telling me that the Walrus is MI5 or something?




"Live And Let Die" indeed....



hmmmmm, and then he did that "CHOBA B CCCP" album



what have I gotten myself into??