RIILF ?

[Peregrine]

should've posted your prices.

heh. not that it'd help me at all. OP ED is too much of an arrogant braggert full of self-puffery to ever spend our money that way.

OP ED, I'll beat you for free.

[Maddy]

Wait, wait...

Are we now having some kind of auction on who gets to beat OP ED? Because I don't have a lot of money, but I could barter. Unless its just a party and we're just all invited.

Also, what kind of bludgeoning instruments are allowed?

[Maddy]

[OP ED]

should've posted your prices.

heh. not that it'd help me at all. OP ED is too much of an arrogant braggert full of self-puffery to ever spend our money that way.

OP ED, I'll beat you for free.

get in line.

[freemason9]

But like Tom Waits said "Fishing for a good time starts with throwing in your line".

Heh, I've had to throw a number of catches back right away. Don't want them in my boat. haha, did I just say that? yes I did...

Yeah, you don't even reel them in. You just cut the line and they disappear beneath the water.

Saw a guy do that with a shark once, under the Golden Gate Bridge. I was about 4. It made a big impression on me.

I did have an online date once with a woman who was particularly aggressive. She seemed nice enough, and her photo was nice enough, so I went to a coffee shop to meet her. There was a tap at my shoulder as I sat reading a paper, and the second I turned around and faced her, I totally regretted showing up. Her picture had been taken some years, and many pounds, ago. She was round. Like the girl in the original Willie Wonka who turns blue. Not that there's anything wrong with that, if that's what you like, but she was certainly not round in her picture.

I didn't know how to get out of it, how to get it to end quickly enough, without being a complete asshole. So we stood in line to buy coffee and made smalltalk, and I have to admit the thing I most feared the whole time was running into someone I knew! Isn't that awful?

We drank the coffee and she kept managing to figure out ways to flash me her crotch as she told me about all the erotic fiction she liked to write.

It was a bad experience. That's not even like catching a fish, that's like thinking you have a fish, reeling it in and realizing it's a weed.

Let this be a lesson for you, son. Never--ever--make a date with someone you've met online. Online relationships are lies built upon fantasies, and everyone misrepresents themselves in the world of the internet. I mean, think about it--normal people can actually meet and date other normal people without the internet. They walk among us; it is a male/female world (along with all of the variants).

Want a date? Go shopping at the nearest SuperTarget, or Furniture Mart, or go to the zoo. Get gas at the convenience store. Just want to get laid? Go to the nearest saloon.

Go to night school at the local college, or join a civic group. Go to city council meetings.

The main thing is that you get out of the house. Despite all of the hokum we hear every day (fuck you, Cable News Networks), the world is filled with wonderful people. Get to know them, and your world will be richer for it.

If you work for a living, you can make relationships there as well. Some of the best sex I ever had happened in my office. I married that woman, by the way . . .

[freemason9]

Oh, I nearly forgot . . . .

There are no RIILTF for me. No matter what is written, I remain uncertain as to gender, appearance, scent, weight, species, and continence of anyone that posts here or anywhere else.

To think otherwise is fantastic. Literally, of course.

[Perelandra]

Let this be a lesson for you, son. Never--ever--make a date with someone you've met. Relationships are lies built upon fantasies, and everyone misrepresents themselves in the world.

Fixed that for ya.

The main thing is that you get out of the house. Despite all of the hokum we hear every day (fuck you, Cable News Networks), the world is filled with wonderful people. Get to know them, and your world will be richer for it.

Agreed.

[Code Unknown]

Everyone who's divorced. (What's up, creepy thread?)

[beeline]

Damn freemason, it must be nice to look like Johnny Depp or Lenardo DiCaprio or whomever you look like and just have women throwing themselves down in the street/toiletry aisle and spreading their legs open for you to have your way with. Some of live in the real world, buddy, and getting laid takes work. I wish I got laid every time I walked into a bar, I'd have slept with thousands of women at this point. The internet is just another place to meet someone, just like a bar or Supertarget or wherever.

[OP ED]

OP ED has never dated online. This doesn't not mean that it would not do so.

Several of my best friends in teh real world, btw, are people i met online years before, so i can certainly accept the possibility for positive experiences of the not entirely platonic sort emanating from teh innertubes.

but really, i'm shallow, and i usually look at them first. sorry.

[Code Unknown]

OP ED has never dated online. This doesn't not mean that it would not do so.

Several of my best friends in teh real world, btw, are people i met online years before, so i can certainly accept the possibility for positive experiences of the not entirely platonic sort emanating from teh innertubes.

but really, i'm shallow, and i usually look at them first. sorry.

It's about a lot more than looks (re the incomparable superiority of real-world grazing v. online). How they carry themselves, how they move, how they smile at you, how they smell, how they smell on a level you don't even consciously realize, how their eyes sparkle, how they really talk, how they really sound, what they really talk about, what their sense of humor is really like, how they casually touch your arm or your leg when they're talking to you, how they "accidentally" brush up against you, how they react to your touch, how they feel, how they get your vibe in general, and so on and on and on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVuKzEDnUUQ

Also, online dating sites happen to be, universally, shit.

[freemason9]

OP ED has never dated online. This doesn't not mean that it would not do so.

Several of my best friends in teh real world, btw, are people i met online years before, so i can certainly accept the possibility for positive experiences of the not entirely platonic sort emanating from teh innertubes.

but really, i'm shallow, and i usually look at them first. sorry.

It's about a lot more than looks (re the incomparable superiority of real-world grazing v. online). How they carry themselves, how they move, how they smile at you, how they smell, how they smell on a level you don't even consciously realize, how their eyes sparkle, how they really talk, how they really sound, what they really talk about, what their sense of humor is really like, how they casually touch your arm or your leg when they're talking to you, how they "accidentally" brush up against you, how they react to your touch, how they feel, how they get your vibe in general, and so on and on and on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVuKzEDnUUQ

Also, online dating sites happen to be, universally, shit.

yes, this.

[freemason9]

Damn freemason, it must be nice to look like Johnny Depp or Lenardo DiCaprio or whomever you look like and just have women throwing themselves down in the street/toiletry aisle and spreading their legs open for you to have your way with. Some of live in the real world, buddy, and getting laid takes work. I wish I got laid every time I walked into a bar, I'd have slept with thousands of women at this point. The internet is just another place to meet someone, just like a bar or Supertarget or wherever.

I don't get this. It really, really doesn't take that much work. And you don't actually "meet" people on the internet.

[freemason9]

Let this be a lesson for you, son. Never--ever--make a date with someone you've met. Relationships are lies built upon fantasies, and everyone misrepresents themselves in the world.

Fixed that for ya.

The main thing is that you get out of the house. Despite all of the hokum we hear every day (fuck you, Cable News Networks), the world is filled with wonderful people. Get to know them, and your world will be richer for it.

Agreed.

I don't get this, so it must be bedtime for freemason9. I'll look at this when I'm less fatigued--I've stirred up enough crap for now, it seems.

[Peregrine]

Aw, freemason, I wouldn't say that online dating was totally crap, looks like Nordic found a lovely lady through the process. I just see it as another avenue added to the world of dating. And I've met some nice folks through the 'net myself.

I do prefer to meet face to face over a drink, though & if the person can't afford me that, then there's no point in pursuing because I hate endless emails & online relationships don't appeal.

Wait, wait...

Are we now having some kind of auction on who gets to beat OP ED?

nah, looks like there's a lineup to beat him for free, I don't like standing in line & I've a business to run....

And I thought Gretchen Mol was addorable as Bettie... And just purchases a pair of leather fingerless gloves & boots, so quite thrilled with my purchase!