rigorousintuition.ca

Just 4 fun...

http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/index.htm

Me, I tend towards Big Cat (at least elsewhere - here I'm just a Newbie)

Big Cat would rather not fight...he enjoys peacefully observing forum conversations and laconically participates when the moods strikes. He playfully chases interesting threads, and from time to time uses a Newbie or Propellerhead as a convenient scratching post. He enjoys being stroked or petted, and tends to purr loudly. CAUTION: Don't be fooled by his fuzzy, playful exterior. When provoked, Big Cat reacts with lightning speed and almost always lands on his feet after an attack. Big Cat often indulges himself by toying with his victim before delivering his lethal blows.

with shades of Pinko

Pinko has an angry, almost genetic loathing for privilege, greed, social exploitation, racism, sexism, homophobia, pro-lifers, the religious right, environmental degradation, the NRA, US imperialism, multinational corporations, big business, Republicans in general and George Bush in particular...

I really like the cartoons they've made for each one.

I don't think I'm any of those caricatures on this forum, although I'm still going through the list. I don't post enough here.

In other forums, however, I have a different personality because I'm more in my element.

I wonder if that's true for anyone else... different Flame Warrior types for different forums?

For those that haven't seen it:

the ultimate flame

Joe Hillshoist wrote:For those that haven't seen it:

the ultimate flame

Bookmarked for future cut and paste =)

Joe Hillshoist wrote:For those that haven't seen it:

the ultimate flame

Ha aha ha. That looks like something someone sent me once...

But..but...but where's its dragon rider?

Toxic granny.

Definitely Big Cat, with a side-order of Lurker.

... and Nanny in any forums I admin.

definitely toxic granny, with bits of other personalities thrown in, DID don't y'know

How fun is this exercise?

Self Deprecator

A formidable opponent, self deprecator will always beat you to the punch. Peppering their posts with phrases like, but don’t listen to me as I’m an idiot or you’d be a fool to take me seriously, they never seem to be a desirable target. Usually these lines are delivered at the end of a long sermon where you have been gathering arguments all along. Winding up for the reply you’ll suddenly have a pin stuck in your thought bubble and lose interest. A few rounds of this and the more pugnacious types will leave self deprecator alone in favor of more satisfying prey. Self Deprecators are often very intelligent and witty to boot. It’s that cognitive dissonance that makes them so intriguing and often charming in their own way. Owing to their self deprecating ways Self Deprecators often have a higher degree of self knowledge than is the norm. This can lead to self absorption, but also self enlightenment. Containing these apparent
contradictions Self Deprecators are often perceived as enigma’s by the board community and will often attract attention in this fashion. In battle self deprecators can put up a front of ferocity, but it is all bluff. The underlying character of the Self Deprecator is one of low self esteem. A certain cowardice attaches to this, but self deprecator knows this and will even point it out to you if you don’t. Even a world class Jerk or Evil Clown is no match for a determined Self Deprecator holed up in their masochistic fortress of solitude. Don’t tangle with Self Deprecator, the battle is already over.


Social Butterfly

Social Butterfly has the redeeming virtue of performing pollination for a board. Flitting from thread to thread Social Butterfly makes the rounds, sucking a bit of nectar from each thread in return for a bit of genetic material from a previously visited thread. This symbiosis helps to ensure future generations of threads. As one would imagine a creature as fragile as Social Butterfly is not given to battle as any damage inflicted can prove fatal. However, Social Butterfly can be very hard to pin down. Typically Social Butterfly relies on the defense that everyone except the most sadistic love butterflies; they’re pretty after all. This may seem a weak defense, but try squashing a butterfly in front of people and see how they react. On a busy, active board Social Butterfly will go as unnoticed as a butterfly in a small patch of flowers on a busy city street. About as helpful an ally in a flame war as a tissue paper fire suit Social Butterfly is best left to it’s main devices, fertilization and flashes of ephemeral beauty.

Master of Jack

Master of jack is never, ever able to finish anything he starts. Bouncing around from project to project in his life he gathers to himself little more than an eclectic collection of jetsam and flotsam and datum signifying even in their sum not a whole lot more than nothing. Statistically speaking Master of Jack can be handy to have around as he is a jack of all trades and master of none, just don’t count on him to get anything actually done. It’s no wonder then that Master of Jack is often active on a board across a broad range of topics as he finds just about everything so damn fascinating. Master of Jack is a relatively weak opponent, especially compared to the likes of a Netiquette Nazi or a Philosopher. However, in the way paper beats rock, his weakness of being spread too thin is also his strength, in that it is the breadth of his knowledge and not the depth of it that gives him the illusion of substance. He knows a little something about everything. In a battle he’ll run out of ammo soon enough though and you can take your scissors out and shred him to pieces (to mix too many metaphors). A clever Master of Jack knows how to maneuver enemies and allies just out of reach and shares this skill with Artful Dodger. The goal is always to hide the fact that he is a poseur. An example would be using French in an artful manner and then responding to a reply made in French with the dodge that it has been years since he has studied any French and after all it was never his raison d'etre. The ultimately vacuous core of the Master of Jack is discernible from the echo in his flowery phrases magnifying the vast empty spaces between the ideas. Master of Jack seems superficially to be a lot like Troller. The difference is that Master of Jack, has a genuine fascination with, well, damn near everything. Master of Jack is the kind of guy that can spend 3 hours in a book store browsing and not walk out with a book (and even if he did odds are he’d never finish it and he may have picked it to impress the cute bookstore clerk as much as anything else).

I suppose only a member such as myself with no board creds to defend whatsoever can get away with resurrecting this thread. The only warrior on the FW site that even remotely represents the conspiracist in us all is Klaxon and that just won't do. I've composed a rough draft of Conspiracy Guy, but despite having gobs of false bravado at my disposal I hesitate to put that one up, even with the small audience share it would likely garner. I'm still toying with the name Self Destroya instead of Conspiracy Guy, not least of which to get away from the gender problem.

Instead I'll offer you these latest additions:



Master Blaster

Usually Propeller head, Evil Clown, or Jerk fulfill the role of Master. The role of Blaster is conventionally filled with the likes of Troglodyte or Palooka. The conjoining of these sometimes unlikely allies into one entity can take the unawares by surprise. Woe be to the warrior who confronts one of these monstrosities. Taken on their own these warriors can be formidable but combined in the form of a Master Blaster they can be downright unstoppable. Even Kung-Fu Master will give ground when one of these incarnations of ancient chimerical deities stalks the board. The best way to attack Master Blaster is to look for any opportunity to drive a wedge between the Master and the Blaster. The Blaster has a rudimentary brain stem and can at least recognize it’s own self interest. A Blaster can often be persuaded or Jedi mind tricked into believing that they are more powerful than the Master that currently holds them in thrall. Rat can be a temporary and useful ally in this situation, but watch your back. Once the Blaster tests this theory and finds no real resistance then the unholy alliance will usually disintegrate. A Blaster thus librated can run amok and cause all sorts of collateral damage if left unchecked. Meanwhile the Master deprived of their muscle will usually slip back into the shadows unnoticed amidst all the noise and confusion following Blaster’s assertion of independence. The Master thus retreats into Lurker mode and waits for the next likely Blaster to come along.

High Plains Drifter

A charismatic High Plains Drifter blows into town one day and the place will never be the same. A legend is born. The women secretly (and not so secretly) lust after him and he instantly gathers hangers-on and sycophants ready and willing to do his bidding. His aloof antihero status lends him an aura of invincibility. High Plains Drifter contains a hidden and undefined menace about him. Anyone stupid enough to draw on him is instantly and deftly made an example to the rest. Thereafter, High Plains Drifter can pretty much have his way with a weak board. A High Plains Drifter will often come with the cache of a legendary net presence elsewhere. This reputation will often precede a High Plains Drifter. A High Plains Drifter by their nature will not hang around very long and in fact the best defense in the absence of a strong sheriff is to leave them alone and wait them out. One day they will vanish as mysteriously as they appeared leaving board members to wonder whether they were real or just a ghost after all. A High Plains Drifter can be expected to fight on the side of righteousness, but only if there is something in it for them. Entering a Faustian bargain with a High Plains Drifter is a dicey proposition at best. Most admins (sheriffs) with unsettled boards would do better to just boot the High Plains Drifter out of town at the first sign of trouble in spite of whatever board credibility they might lose in the process.

Deus Ex Machina

Just when you think you’ve got Deus Ex Machina cornered something miraculous occurs or is made to occur and they slip through your grasp. (Similar to Greased Pig and Artful Dodger in this respect) Deus Ex Machina is a master of funneling narratives toward their traps. Deus Ex Machina expects you to suspend your sense of disbelief and go along with their antics, no matter how bizarre or convenient. The alternative is to call them a liar which in the context of a discussion board seems a silly accusation. To call them on their outrageous claims would be to elicit indignation and possibly the ire of overly protective Nannys or worse yet a pack of Cyber Sisters. Weenie will also come to the aid of Deus Ex Machina as will a less than rigorous Conspiracy Guy. Most warriors refrain from engaging Deus Ex Machina at all once this tactic is discovered. A clever Deus Ex Machina has already engineered several back doors before an unwary board member even realizes what they are dealing with. As in chess, Deus Ex Machina can defeat weaker players by laying the groundwork with any one of several pat opening attacks. Occasionally, a Philosopher, or a Big Cat high on catnip will decide to put a Deus Ex Machina in their place. Thereafter Deus Ex Machina will avoid fact based threads and seek out speculative threads more suited to their machinations.

Master Blaster, High Plains Drifter and Deus Ex Machina ... those are great! Did you write those up? You should submit them to their forum... I want to see Conspiracy Guy!

Heh heh let's not forget what Klaxon looks slike, and watch out for him in the mirror.