What it's really like in CANADA

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Re: What it's really like in CANADA

Postby Canadian_watcher » Mon May 17, 2010 10:56 am

Goof is prison slang for child molester.

The Corrections HR department actually warns new employees not to ever utter that word.
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Re: What it's really like in CANADA

Postby AhabsOtherLeg » Thu May 20, 2010 2:41 am

This thread is from the old days of three years ago, and yet the very finest and best Fred and Sharon spoof has not yet been posted.

And no one has called out Fred and Sharon's videos as a psy-op!

I'm disappointed. But it's okay, because this (actually, these two) videos make it all okay again:





And so does this one.



I thought it had to be massive drug abuse when I first watched this interview, but some people don't need them, and can still lead happy and productive lives. Or happy lives, anyway.

If the Ogopogo IS lonely, there is always Nessie, though it seems she might have kids, and even a husband, so that might not work out.

heh. Imagine getting in a fight over being called a "goof"! It's like a cop feeling justified in maltreating or abusing somebody just because they are a "bum"! How ridiculous! That would never happen!

Language is weird, and most amusing. An American I knew used to say that she was going to put her camera back in her Fanny Pack, then watch me trying to keep a straight face... :lol: I never could manage it, because I have a mental age of six.
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speaking of fannies

Postby annie aronburg » Fri May 28, 2010 6:00 pm

Toronto Police Warn of Thieving Poo Bandits

Toronto Police are warning about a rash of so-called “distraction thefts” downtown, in which bandits are squirting unsuspecting people with feces after they withdraw money at bank machines.

You read that right — squirted with feces.

There have been at least four such thefts in Toronto in the past week, Constable Tony Vella said.

In one case, a woman returned to her office building after using an ATM. Four suspects surrounded her in an elevator.

“One of them is in possession of a squeeze bottle, which contains feces,” Const. Vella said.

“One will pour the feces on her, alert her to the item on her and obviously, she’s shocked. They attempt to clean the item off her and that is when one of them will remove the cash from her possession.”

Const. Vella is uncertain about the source of the feces.

Police have released images of the suspects captured on security footage. People who find themselves covered in feces should call 911 immediately.

Read more: http://news.nationalpost.com/2010/05/28 ... z0pGQme2uE
"O Oysters," said the Carpenter,
"You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?'
But answer came there none--
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every one.
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Re: speaking of fannies

Postby AhabsOtherLeg » Sat Jul 17, 2010 5:53 am

annie aronburg wrote:People who find themselves covered in feces should call 911 immediately.


This is a terrible example of the Nanny State, and it's tendency to infantilise the citizen. People who find themselves covered in feces should use their own individual initiative and pull themselves up by their bootstraps. No responsible person should ever allow themselves to be standing beside an ATM covered in feces.

Unless this happens:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/ho ... 34357.html

There used to be a video of some of his protests on Youtube, but I can understand why they've been removed. Everyone would be on his side nowadays.
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Postby Perelandra » Wed Jul 21, 2010 1:12 am

That was great Mr Leg and all.

Reporting on my recent time in Canada, I will say that while the threat of contact with feces was ever-present and sometimes unavoidable, I felt welcomed.

Canada (BC) is a strangely exotic and dangerous place. Who knew? I highly recommend it.
Last edited by Perelandra on Wed Jul 21, 2010 1:56 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re:

Postby annie aronburg » Wed Jul 21, 2010 2:23 am

Perelandra wrote:Reporting on my recent time in Canada, I will say that while the threat of contact with feces was ever-present and sometimes unavoidable, I felt welcomed.


I'm just not that much of a house-keeper, OK? I have, like, rilly important stuff to do in a day. Plus those chihuahua poos are so small, how can a woman of my advanced optics be expected to stay on top of such tiny things?
"O Oysters," said the Carpenter,
"You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?'
But answer came there none--
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every one.
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Postby Perelandra » Wed Jul 21, 2010 1:37 pm

Pas de problème, mais qu'en est-il des montagnes de merde? :lol:

Adventure awaits around every bend:
Image
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Re: What it's really like in CANADA

Postby norton ash » Wed Jul 21, 2010 1:50 pm

It's fresh bear shit that worries me. That indicates that a big adventure might be just around the bend.

And don't get weir'd. A person I knew died that way, pinned under the rapids against the base of a railroad bridge trestle. No matter how strong a swimmer you are, you're pretty much fucked if that happens.
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Re: What it's really like in CANADA

Postby Jeff » Tue Sep 07, 2010 6:50 pm

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Re: What it's really like in CANADA

Postby Jeff » Fri Mar 04, 2011 10:59 pm

Image

First it was the "Government of Canada." Then it was "Canada's New Government." Now it's the "Harper Government."

Public servants from four different departments have confirmed to The Canadian Press that they received a directive late last year that the words "Government of Canada" in federal communications be replaced with "Harper Government."


http://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/story/2 ... brand.html
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Re: What it's really like in CANADA

Postby norton ash » Sat Mar 05, 2011 10:39 am

This landed in my work mailbox this morning because an associate apparently thinks it's either funny or true, and has no worries about sharing it. :mad2

Anyway, this is what it's 'really like' in Canada in some people's angry little brains. The numbers and factoids are pretty much shit, btw.

I am a Canadian: The new version...

I AM CANADIAN
I am in the minority in Calgary ,
Vancouver , Toronto
and every casino in this country..

I was born in the forties, fifties or
sixties, yet I am somehow responsible for some First Nations people
being screwed out of their land in the 1700's!

I pay import tax on cars made in Ontario


I am allowed to skydive and smoke, but
not allowed to drive without a seat belt.


All the money I make until mid July must
go to paying taxes..


I live and work among people who believe
Americans are Ignorant....
These same people cannot name their own country's new territory.


Although I am sometimes forced to live
on hamburgers and don't have a pot to piss in,
I sleep well knowing that my taxes
helped purchase a nice six figure home in Vancouver for some unskilled refugee.


Although they are unpatriotic and
constantly try to separate...
Quebec still provides most of my
nation's prime ministers..


95% of my nation's international
conflicts are over fish.

I'm supposed to call black people
African Canadians,
although I'm sure none of them have ever
been to Africa for that matter.

I am being told that paying a 200% tax
on alcohol is fair.

I am also being told that the same tax
on gasoline is also fair.

Even if I have no idea what happened to
that old rifle myGrandfather gave me when I was 14, I
will be considered a criminal if I don't register it.


I am being told that spending $15 billion to promote the French
language in the rest of Canada is fair when the province of
Quebec doesn't support or even recognize the ENGLISH language.

I am being told that paying $1million for 3 Stripes
('The Voice of Fire' painting in Ottawa)
by the National Art Gallery was a good
purchase, even though 99% of this country didn't want it or will ever
see it.


When I look at my pension and realize
that I take home a third of what I actually make, I say
'Oh well, at least we have better health
care than the U.S.A..'


I must bail out big corporations who
drive their business into the ground and say,
'yeah that's ok.'
And When they move all their manufacturing
plants and jobs to a third world country and say,
'no problem.'

My National Anthem has versions in both official languages.


Canada is the highest taxed nation in North America, the biggest Military buffer for the United States, and the number one destination for fleeing terrorists.

The Lord's prayer is not allowed in our schools anymore because of other religions who chose to move here.

I am an angry white person.

I am one pissed off taxpayer, who is broke

.... I am Canadian !!!
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Re: What it's really like in CANADA

Postby Jeff » Sat Mar 05, 2011 11:31 am

norton ash wrote:This landed in my work mailbox this morning because an associate apparently thinks it's either funny or true, and has no worries about sharing it.


I'm always prepared to believe many people think this way, and I'm always shocked when they say it aloud.

I am one pissed off taxpayer, who is broke


There's a lovely scene I remember in Sammy and Rosie Get Laid, in which Sammy defends their life in London to his father, concluding "We're not British, we're Londoners." I used to be able to stake a similar claim on life in Toronto - though with less conviction than if I were a Montrealer - but I don't have that wobbly argument anymore since Rob Ford.

Building Ford Nation

For months, members of Ford’s former campaign staff have been quietly drawing up plans to form a right-wing advocacy group. The intention is to monetize and organize this huge ideological voting base, essentially forming a quasi Tea Party North.

It would means millions of dollars for the conservative movement, high-profile publicity for Tory-friendly issues and an energized right-wing base.

“But it won’t be called Ford Nation. It’s going to be an advocacy group for the taxpayers of Toronto. It will be something like: Respect for Taxpayers Action Group,” said Nick Kouvalis, the mayor’s former chief of staff and deputy campaign manager.
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Re: What it's really like in CANADA

Postby Jeff » Fri Mar 11, 2011 10:23 am

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Re: What it's really like in CANADA

Postby Jeff » Mon May 30, 2011 12:47 pm

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Re: What it's really like in CANADA

Postby Nordic » Tue May 31, 2011 1:50 am

norton ash wrote:This landed in my work mailbox this morning because an associate apparently thinks it's either funny or true, and has no worries about sharing it. :mad2

Anyway, this is what it's 'really like' in Canada in some people's angry little brains. The numbers and factoids are pretty much shit, btw.

I am a Canadian: The new version...

I AM CANADIAN
I am in the minority in Calgary ,
Vancouver , Toronto
and every casino in this country..

I was born in the forties, fifties or
sixties, yet I am somehow responsible for some First Nations people
being screwed out of their land in the 1700's!

I pay import tax on cars made in Ontario


I am allowed to skydive and smoke, but
not allowed to drive without a seat belt.


All the money I make until mid July must
go to paying taxes..


I live and work among people who believe
Americans are Ignorant....
These same people cannot name their own country's new territory.


Although I am sometimes forced to live
on hamburgers and don't have a pot to piss in,
I sleep well knowing that my taxes
helped purchase a nice six figure home in Vancouver for some unskilled refugee.


Although they are unpatriotic and
constantly try to separate...
Quebec still provides most of my
nation's prime ministers..


95% of my nation's international
conflicts are over fish.

I'm supposed to call black people
African Canadians,
although I'm sure none of them have ever
been to Africa for that matter.

I am being told that paying a 200% tax
on alcohol is fair.

I am also being told that the same tax
on gasoline is also fair.

Even if I have no idea what happened to
that old rifle myGrandfather gave me when I was 14, I
will be considered a criminal if I don't register it.


I am being told that spending $15 billion to promote the French
language in the rest of Canada is fair when the province of
Quebec doesn't support or even recognize the ENGLISH language.

I am being told that paying $1million for 3 Stripes
('The Voice of Fire' painting in Ottawa)
by the National Art Gallery was a good
purchase, even though 99% of this country didn't want it or will ever
see it.


When I look at my pension and realize
that I take home a third of what I actually make, I say
'Oh well, at least we have better health
care than the U.S.A..'


I must bail out big corporations who
drive their business into the ground and say,
'yeah that's ok.'
And When they move all their manufacturing
plants and jobs to a third world country and say,
'no problem.'

My National Anthem has versions in both official languages.


Canada is the highest taxed nation in North America, the biggest Military buffer for the United States, and the number one destination for fleeing terrorists.

The Lord's prayer is not allowed in our schools anymore because of other religions who chose to move here.

I am an angry white person.

I am one pissed off taxpayer, who is broke

.... I am Canadian !!!



I can't help but think that this sort of thing has spread from the United States. Not through actual humans, but from the propaganda mills. It really reminds me of Rush Limbaugh type stuff from 20 years ago.

And Harper certainly seems to have been metastatized from the United States right wing schools.

Do you Canadians worry about this? Because you should! Those fuckers will take over your country any way they can, and this is a pretty easy way for them to go about it. Hell, it worked here!
"He who wounds the ecosphere literally wounds God" -- Philip K. Dick
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