rigorousintuition.ca

Well, I been movin' down to Florida.
And I'm gonna bowl me a perfect game.
Well I'm gonna cut off my leg down in Florida, child.
And I'm gonna dance one-legged off in the rain.
Now, they say that Sidney Poitier was a blind man.
And they say that LBJ was a Soviet Jew.
When I go down Florida Way,
They're ain't no kind of sexual healing that I would not, could not,
should not do, stick it right here.

Well I been movin' down to Florida.
I'm gonna potty train the chairman Mao.
I'm gonna make the governor write my doodoo a letter, child.
And I'm gonna grind me up a White Castle side out of India's sacred cow.
Well, I been movin' down Florida Way,
And I'm gonna build me the atomic bomb.
Well, I'm gonna hold time hostage down in Florida, child.
Ain't nobody, said ain't nobody gonna tell me what to do. Right here.

By this time I guess you've figured out about Florida.
Drink the muddy water in the Vaseline stain.
They be makin' tadpoles the size of Mercuries down in Florida.
That be tellin' Julio Iglesias what to sing, now.
Now, whoever said that Sidney Poitier was a blind man,
Knew the same of Elvis Presley, too.
When I go down Florida Way,
Ain't nobody, said ain't nobody gonna tell me what to do. Right here.

Well I been goin' down to Florida.
Pole cats lie naked in the Seminole sin.
When I go down Florida Way,
Like Vince, I wanna' win.
Well I went down to Florida.
I got hurt.
I took the children down to Florida.
I stuck my dick down in the dirt.

Get that boy down to Florida.
Give him a switch blade.


Tell him what to do.

A Palm Beach Gardens man and his mother, a middle school science teacher, are permanently barred from owning or possessing animals, a judge ruled Thursday after watching a short film of the man having sex in his bedroom with a German shepherd.

Palm Beach County Judge Frank Castor also ordered that the county be given custody of the woman's pets — two German shepherds and two cats — and ruled that she and her son, 18, jointly pay the county $1,848 in boarding costs and other fees.

The man, who was 17 at the time of the recorded activity, did not appear in court. The South Florida Sun-Sentinel is not identifying him because he was a juvenile at the time of the activity.

His mother, whose residence is where the sexual activity occurred, teaches at a public school. She testified at Thursday's hearing, insisting repeatedly that she was unaware of her son's sexual acts with her male German shepherd. She said she found the behavior reprehensible and out of character for her son, whom she said is a recently graduated high school honors student. Thursday's hearing included graphic details of the man's sexual acts, including descriptions of the film that Palm Beach County sheriff's investigators found stored on his personal computer in his bedroom.



Testimony was provided by a detective, county Animal Care and Control officials, including a chief veterinarian, and an expert animal trainer who said the videotape indicates the dog showed signs of submission and pain.

The woman urged the judge not to take away her dogs, and said not allowing her to have future pets "is punishing the mother for the sins of a son."

She told the judge, "I have not done anything wrong or have hurt these animals in any way. I was mortified to find this was going on."

The county intends to put the animals up for adoption.

"The court had ruled it 'Gators In Bed is Bad Idea,'" says Hiaasen, referring to one clipping. "This was a story about a guy who was sleeping with two full-grown alligators. And a court ruled that he had no constitutional right to sleep with an endangered reptile. And that happened in Florida."

"Was he sleeping with them?" asks Kroft. "Yes," says Hiaasen.

"In what way?" asks Kroft. "In the way that you're suggesting with your eyebrows," says Hiaasen.

This is how Hiaasen describes Florida: "The Sunshine State is a paradise of scandals teeming with drifters, deadbeats, and misfits drawn here by some dark primordial calling like demented trout. And you'd be surprised how many of them decide to run for public office."

thurnundtaxis wrote:You will recall that the antiheroes of "Easy Rider" sought to retire in Florida.

VERY WEIRD PLACE!!!

I spent many formative years there. It is an incredible nexus of drug trade, entrenched racism- come industrialism- through cattle baron and railroad fortunes. Home to Scientolgy, the NASA AeroSpace Industry, Defense Contractors, Right and Left wing Drug Runners, Wealthy "Retirees", Intelligence Operatives, New Age Cults, Influential Right Wing Christian Cable Television Networks, incredibly diverse homegrown pirate radio operators, sixties-era drop outs, WW II generation RV dwellers, Outlaw bikers, Death Metal pioneers, Emotional Hardcore innovators, dieties of the crass drug-fueled and elitist American Rave Movement, Porn and Pawn industries, all codependent upon vast tracts of unsustainable suburban development. But, Wow!, is there great cultural trash found to be found in the thrift stores, flea markets and odd commercial fantasylands far stranger and much less sinister than DisneyWorld.

It is a truly hard landscape to navigate in a coherent manner but my many formative years there spent traveling through divergent youth cultures in the eighties and nineties helped turn me into an "RI -er" through discovering many of these odd nexuses.

Buy me a pint sometime and I'll tell you a tall tail or two!