How to Avoid Huge Ships

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How to Avoid Huge Ships

Postby JackRiddler » Fri Dec 27, 2013 3:30 am

Gotta save these reviews here just in case Amazon deletes them.

How to Avoid Huge Ships by John W. Trimmer (Paperback - Mar. 1993)
Used & New from: $129.06


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It cannot be helped the way they are built - their size was destined from the beginning. - CRB


I tore open its cardboard protective layer like a lion tearing into a fallen antelope. - Artemis Finkel


5,919 of 6,047 people found the following review helpful
A Parent's Review
By Noel D. Hill on February 20, 2011

As the father of two teenagers, I found this book invaluable. I'm sure other parents here can empathize when I say I shudder at the thought of the increasing presence of huge ships in the lives my children. I certainly remember the strain I caused so long ago for my own parents when I began experimenting with huge ships. The long inter-continental voyages that kept my mom and dad up all night with worry. Don't even get me started on the international protocols when transporting perishable cargo. To think, I was even younger than my kids are now! huge ships are everywhere and it doesn't help that the tv and movies make huge ships seem glamorous and cool. This book helped me really approach the subject of huge ships with my kids in an honest and non judgmental way. Because of the insights this book provided, I can sleep a little better and cope with the reality that I can't always be there to protect my kids from huge ships, especially as they become adults. I'm confident that my teens, when confronted by a huge ship, are much better prepared to make wiser decisions than I did. At the very least my children certainly know that they can always come to me if they have any concerns, questions or just need my support when it comes to the topic of huge ships.


5,082 of 5,250 people found the following review helpful
TOO Informative.
By Dan on December 25, 2010

Read this book before going on vacation and I couldn't find my cruise liner in the port. Vacation ruined.


4,852 of 5,090 people found the following review helpful
Reads like a whodunnit!
By Citizenfitz on December 21, 2010

I bought How to Avoid Huge Ships as a companion to Captain Trimmer's other excellent titles: How to Avoid a Train, and How to Avoid the Empire State Building. These books are fast paced, well written and the hard won knowledge found in them is as inspirational as it is informational. After reading them I haven't been hit by anything bigger than a diesel bus. Thanks captain!


1,810 of 1,950 people found the following review helpful
Large beamed, please!
By Altair Voyager on January 6, 2011

I am a huge ship. Imagine having an entire book devoted toward actively avoiding you and your kind. I have always been bigger than other ships - and yes, I have endured years of being moared in the distance, never being able to enter the shallower bays, requiring tugs to guide me in - but now THIS! Mr. Trimmer, you sir, should be ashamed! Please do not be swayed by his drivel. I ask that you judge me not by the size of my cargo hatch but rather the content of my wheelhouse.


2,406 of 2,597 people found the following review helpful
Good Advice For Most Readers, But Doesn't Cover All The Bases.
By Jamie on January 18, 2012

There is one major oversight in this generally well-written book, and that is that it addresses animate readers exclusively. As a large rock in the Tyrrhenian Sea off the coast of Giglio Island, I have recently been confronted with instances in which avoiding huge ships was of fundamental interest to my personal well-being. However, the methods presented in Capt. Trimmer's book were none too useful in my efforts to avoid huge ships, as I was recently struck by a very large ship indeed, a cruise vessel called the 'Costa Concordia'. I think the ship came off slightly worse in the exchange, but the experience was disruptive to my afternoon and rather jarring. In a situation such as this, Capt. Trimmer's advice would have been immensely beneficial to humans, fish, seabirds, and other animals, but I am none of those things. I'm a big rock. I can't zig-zag or duck and cover. Rocks don't do that. I've tried. I tried some time ago to scoot over to the left a bit to get some better sunlight, and it took me three thousand years! That's not fast enough to avoid even the slowest huge ships. It is for precisely this reason that I would advise Capt. Trimmer to augment this edition with a section intended for readers like me--perhaps "How To Avoid Huge Ships If You Are A Rock, Iceberg, Or Coral Reef". There is a market out there for this, Capt. Trimmer, and I assure you it would be well worth your time and effort.


3,936 of 4,253 people found the following review helpful
Caution: Check the title before purchase
By Graham Thomas on April 7, 2010

I live near a park and frequently walk around the local area. Given the amount of dog mess that is on the pavements I thought this book would be the ideal read to stop me having to scrape my shoes on the grass before going home. It was only after it arrived that I looked closely at the title and realised it said 'How to Avoid Huge SHIPS'. A simple error that means I am still treading on massive examples of canine excrement. Having said that, I read the book anyway, and I'm pleased to say I'm not even having near misses with huge ships anymore. No sir, they aint getting anywhere near me!


1,788 of 1,929 people found the following review helpful
Now I know what that steering wheel thingy is for
By Cap'n Crunch on January 30, 2011

This book really is one of the best huge ship avoidance references I've come across, not just for the effective methods it teaches as to avoiding huge ships, but also for exploding some of the huge ship avoidance myths that many of us take for granted.

For example:
- Do not charge the huge ship at full speed in an attempt to scare it off. This may work with coyotes, but it is less effective with huge ships.
- Similarly, do not roll your boat over and play dead. Unless the huge ship is captained by a grizzly bear, this will not work.
- Do not attempt to go under the huge ship. This is typically not successful.
- Do not attempt to jump over the huge ship.

Captain Trimmer presents a rather novel technique for avoiding huge ships - move your boat out of the path of the huge ship. I know what you're thinking, this goes against conventional wisdom, but Trimmer presents significant empirical evidence to support his theory. Indeed, over the long run, moving out of the way will dramatically decrease the number of huge ship collisions you will have to endure in your daily life.


Best 200.00 dollar paper-back EVER!, December 26, 2013
By Shannon E. Sasseville - See all my reviews

There is nothing that can compare to the tangled bloody wreckage that occurs when an ocean-kayak collides with a luxury liner. There is nothing that can describe the carnage and earth-shattering devastation of a catamaran getting swamped by the wake of a super tanker.
But never fear my friends. There is help. There is a solution.
Blow a couple hundred bucks on this dumb book and you too can become "Ocean Safety Savvy!"
Yes. you too can learn how to master the art of using critically obvious observation for your own safety. Here is a small sample of several of the chapter titles.
---Big Ship, Big Troubles.
---Is That Ship Huge?
---How Huge Is That Ship?
---Too Small To Be A Huge Ship, Too Huge To Be A Small Ship.
---My Ship Is Bigger Than Yours
---I Kissed A Ship And I Liked It
---That Ship Isn't Huge....It's Just Big-Boned
--- I Just Avoided A Huge Ship....Should I Tell My Mom?
And dozens of other equally useless chapters!! If you live on the coast, you owe it to yourself....you owe it to your family to pick up a copy of this book. Hell, since it is only 200 bucks, you should get a couple of copies!! Keep one in your car right next to the first aid kit, condoms, and booster-cables!!!


WHY NO KINDLE EDITION??????
December 26, 2013
By Jim Henley

Given that there is a huge ship bearing down on me RIGHT NOW I am extremely disappointed that I cannot get inst


a crushing problem
December 26, 2013
By Michael (Houston Texas) - See all my reviews

I knew I had a problem. I mean, at first I was in denial, and then I had all of this anger and resentment that I just started taking out on huge ships. Well, back then, as they say "back in the day", the biggest ships around were whaling ships, and boy did I do some damage. After busting up my first ship, I experienced this huge rush, and to be honest it felt almost orgasmic. My friends gave a me shirt that read "Ships happen". From that day on I crushed ship after ship after ship. But then I found myself about to crush a ship that truly changed my life. Small for a whaler, but enticing non-the-less, I approached the Pequod with much excitement! But that was when I realized that the one-legged captain of this ship was holding a grudge, and he was on the look-out for me! I had, apparently inflicted some self-proclaimed injury upon this man, Ahab, during some earlier ship crushing, so he was out for revenge. It was only then that I realized my actions might have been hurting others. I swam away fast, trying to avoid this huge ship, but it came on with a vengeance. Now to this day I have a monkey (called Ahab) on my back. I attend Big Ship Crushers Anon (BSCA) meetings every year or so, and this book has really helped when I can't get to a meeting. Moby


wish this had the "See Inside" feature
By Theresa Munroe - See all my reviews

I already own Escaping Big Boats for Dummies. I was hoping to see if the material is similar and worth the huge outlay for this book. Maybe I should buy it anyway since I have a deathly fear of being killed by extremely large sea-going vessels which is why I moved to the Sonoran Desert. Any new bit of information can be a life saver.
We meet at the borders of our being, we dream something of each others reality. - Harvey of R.I.

To Justice my maker from on high did incline:
I am by virtue of its might divine,
The highest Wisdom and the first Love.

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Re: How to Avoid Huge Ships

Postby MacCruiskeen » Sun Dec 29, 2013 3:35 pm

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars
Great value for such an informational book
January 1, 2013
By Mike M
I found this book to be a great value considering that similar avoidance books are currently selling for over $1,500. However, I was a little misled by the title, as I thought it was more about how to avoid having large bowel movements, not physically avoiding stepping in dog feces. Still, if the knowledge gained from this book deters me from stepping in one single pile of dog droppings, then it was well worth the dollar price tag.


2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars
Deliberately misleading
December 26, 2013
By Hike Munt

I bought this book in this hope that it would instruct me on the best course of action for avoiding large maritime vessels. As this book has an almost identical title to the one I had intended, I picked it up and left.

Imagine my frustration when I encountered a huge ship that very afternoon. Instead of being informed on the best course of action, I was treated to what I can only describe as a feeble attempt at humorous banality on the subject of excrement. Huge shits are not a problem in my area due to an over numerousness of bin men. I only just managed to avoid that huge ship, but it was luck rather than judgement, and I doubt other encounters will end as favourably.

I post this review in order that others will not make the same mistake.


http://www.amazon.com/HOW-TO-AVOID-HUGE ... B0055144B0


Such silliness.

Here's a title that might be more to your taste, Jack:

Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers

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Frohet Neuet Jahr!
"Ich kann gar nicht so viel fressen, wie ich kotzen möchte." - Max Liebermann,, Berlin, 1933

"Science is the belief in the ignorance of experts." - Richard Feynman, NYC, 1966

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