I realized in the last several days that depression can not only be anger directed onwards, but unprocessed grief, like food stuck in the throat.
I just experienced this. Found out a good old friend of mine died, on Chritmas Day, then almost immediately thereafter learned that someone very dear to me (an ex-girlfriend) was suffering greatly from cancer.
This was all while on a trip with my family where I was unable to process the events. One needs serious alone time.
Result? You guessed it.
Stuck in the craw. A booger jammed deeply up the nose. Emotional constipation. The metaphors that come to mind are all deeply unpleasant.
Grief is important. The thought of dealing with it, however, is like facing any other daunting and exhausting chore -- one tends to put it off. "The current moment isn't good. I'll wait for a better time"
So many people die over the holidays. Not just famous people. And today: Abe Vigoda!!!