by brekin » Sat Jan 02, 2016 1:32 am
Sorry to hear about your problem. Hope things have improved. Here are some things that help/have helped me. I've used the active voice in this but these are just suggestions, not commandments. But if I had someone on my ass to do these everyday I'd probably be better off.
1. Exercise. I know this seems like the usual cliche bullshit but I run hot/intense mentally. If I can go to the gym and/or be active during the day I have less worry juice for my brain to run on in the afternoon and evening when I dwell on black things. Also, I have moved things in my life so I walk to work now. Not doable for many but just moving my body to and from work definitely keeps me from getting lost in my head. I think if everyone could walk 2-4 miles a day it would solve/lessen a lot of problems.
2. Always be reading a sappy feel good book that makes you believe you can accomplish the impossible. I'm cynical, mistrustful, pessimistic, etc and that can take a toll. It is good to be reading or listening to affirmative positive self help stuff even if most of it is repetitive and flaky. Many people, I'd guess the majority on this forum, can have a pretty dark worldview. My goal is to be happy regardless of the ptb and I always try to have some feel good stuff on my rotation. A lot of self help books have silly but effective techniques and methods that can be surprisingly helpful. And if you make browsing self help websites a regular habit you get a boost from all the intense self improvement people out there experimenting and sharing.
3. Cook. Don't just rely on takeout and convenience foods. Having to organize and prepare a meal is another project that will keep you busy and not give you much time to be morose. Also, you have a pay off at the end and if you are cooking for others of people being appreciative of what you've done. If you have time to worry you have time to cook. For me having to use my hands, juggling various time limits, helps me focused on the job at hand and not getting lost in a fog of free floating anxiety.
4. Have a crazy ass goal that you work on. If you have something crazier and bigger than your problems you'll find yourself thinking about that more instead of default worry concerns. This could even be the lottery ticket you make to solve other seemingly intractable problems. If you have no big goals, you'll go nowhere big. If you don't have a crazy ass goal you'll never get crazy ass close to what you want.
5. Get a colonic. Depression can sometimes just be caused by a digestive tract in poor condition. Getting a colonic is an appointment that will definitively clean out some baggage and can change your hunger moods, improve skin, give you some more energy and be a catalyst to lose a few pounds.
6. Find somewhere you can release your anger, sorrow, joy, sadness appropriately but completely. Group therapy is good because you can see that most people all have the same problems, think they are the only one, but tend to have slightly different coping/solutions for them. I've done this in therapeutic settings but surprisingly a good acting class can give you more bang for your buck. If you've got a lot of pent up energy you need to find an expressive outlet for this and I've found that an acting class is a place where you can tap many emotions that your family, friends and co-workers would rather not see in their full fury. It is also good to go to place where too much thinking is frowned upon and you have to actively pursue something whole heartedly. Non young actors seem to do pretty well having more of a wealth of experience to draw on. If acting isn't your thing maybe kickboxing, MMA, CrossFit, etc that really demand full spectrum commitment.
7. Make a decision, find a third way. Many times we can get depressed because we are in a double bind. I love my wife but I want to screw other women. I need my job but I really want to tell my boss what I asshole he is. etc. Because of this binary situation we shut down and make life dull. I think it is better to take little assertive steps in a direction of something we think is out of range. Flirt with the barista lady, you'll probably find out she isn't the dream liason you've dreamed of. Take a small stand with your boss, he could be surprisingly accommodating.
8. Don't worry about finances/career stuff but don't forget about them. I've changed jobs/careers innumerable times and I've had well paying nightmare jobs and poor paying cool jobs. The handful of times I've had the best of both haven't lasted either because something else comes along that causes me to leave them behind. I think very few people have jobs that pay incredible and they truly enjoy. Even those people seem to be looking for the next big thing. And for those people who do who knows what health or relationship issues they have. I have gotten use to the fact I'm probably going to be not financially secure for a long time but I try to remind myself that the times I have been, I just as easily could have been/probably was depressed and just blew my money on compensations for how miserable I was. If you can be poor and happy just think how you'll feel when your finances will improve. But if you are practicing being down now, getting more money may only be a short term bump. My mantra about this is: Fuck Money, I want more Life. (If I can get more Life with Money, great, but if I can get more Life without the Money, even better.)
9. Remember the happiest, most fulfilling times in your life. Those are the keys to what you should be doing now. We get sidetracked and off track with what we really should be doing. If you don't pursue what you are meant to do, no one around you is going be helped by that. Even if you only end up doing it for an hour or half a day or every couple of days you are tapping into your source and that will pay dividends.
10. Make lists. Of things you want to do. Things you love. Things you hate. Places you want to go. Places you hate. Problems you have. Possible solutions to your problem. Its funny but once you put things down on paper you seem to have power over them and can move them around and manipulate them. If I just run them around in my head they end up running me.
If I knew all mysteries and all knowledge, and have not charity, I am nothing. St. Paul
I hang onto my prejudices, they are the testicles of my mind. Eric Hoffer