My Last Day in Court

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My Last Day in Court

Postby Novem5er » Thu Aug 25, 2016 5:30 pm

About 22 months ago, my mother-in-law was killed by an ex-boyfriend. He broke into her house in wee hours of the morning, confronted her upstairs, and ended up shooting her twice. She died on the spot. Roommates in the house heard the commotion, ran to the room, and confronted the killer, but he waived his gun around and escaped (not without chase, though!). The police caught him a few hours later and started a legal process that has been ongoing these last 22 months.

Today it is over. I attended a pre-trial conference for the up-teenth time, the last one before the trial was scheduled to start in a few weeks. There was a different energy in the room this time, though, and a lot of movement on the part of attorneys on both sides. In an unexpected turn, the defendant (aka the killer) accepted a plea, the judge accepted it, and he was sentenced on the spot.

Guilty of 2nd degree murder with a sentence of 40 years with a mandatory minimum of 25 for using a firearm. Florida has an 85% minimum sentence law, which the State Attorney assures us is applied after the 25 year minimum, which means that he will serve a minimum of 38 years out of that 40 (minus the 22 months he's already served). If he ever gets out of prison, he will be nearly 90 years old, and everyone knows he is unlikely to live that long.

Our family is mad because they wanted a conviction of 1st degree, which carries a mandatory life, but I am slowly getting it through to them that this is almost identical and it forgoes any risk (and stress) of a trial. It's done. It's over. And in, my mind, he will never leave prison. It's only been a few hours, but the family is coming around.

Obviously, it isn't "over" for the family's healing. My wife still struggles weekly. I still struggle. PTSD is prevalent with all of us, due to the shock of trauma; flashbacks still haunt us and general anxiety and panic attacks are a constant threat. But I think we are all getting better, slowly.

So with this legal outcome our lives are not "fixed" and we still don't have all our shit together, but I think it's an important hurdle to move past. Now we are living for ourselves, not for a court date and a chance at justice, but that's going to be a challenge in itself. I'm confident we will move forward, though! This is just the first step.
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Re: My Last Day in Court

Postby Burnt Hill » Thu Aug 25, 2016 6:57 pm

Sorry you and your family had to go through-are going through that horror.
Best wishes moving forward.
BH
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Re: My Last Day in Court

Postby Novem5er » Thu Aug 25, 2016 9:15 pm

Thanks. One chapter is ended, but this book isn't finished yet. Here's to moving forward.

My body feels wrecked today, like I was working out for hours. Stress really wears you out.

We had no expectations of a plea going to court today. The idea had been floated a few weeks back, but nothing had ever come of it. We were sitting in the court room waiting for the other cases to have their moments (there were maybe 8 pre-trial conferences before ours - a few for other murders, too), not knowing when our docket would be called. The defendants are not in the room until their docket is called, and then they are escorted in by an officer from a side-door; so our killer-in-question is not there, but his lawyer is.

Suddenly, I see his lawyer cross the aisle and approach the state attorney. They talk briefly and then she leaves the room out the main door. Weird because her case could be called any moment. The state attorney approaches us a minute later and briefly explains they have the defendant downstairs in a private holding cell so he and the lawyer can talk again . . . what else could they be talking about except a plea?! But we don't know. After maybe 20 minutes the defense lawyer comes back and asks the state attorney to follow her out of the room. They are both gone now and my heart is beating a mile a minute. I know they are discussing a plea, but is it too much to hope for?

A plea would likely reduce the sentence, but it would avoid all the emotions and stress of a trial. My wife wouldn't have to testify. We wouldn't hear her mother's name drug through the mud. There'd be no evidence photos and press crowding the room. We want justice, but I also know that a trial will be very difficult, and there is always that possibility of a jury reducing the charges or finding him innocent. It's almost too much to bear.

The state attorney comes back awhile later, but wont look at us. He gets busy helping with some of the other cases. In a strange twist of fate, we sit through a conference for a totally different murder case . . . where the accused murderer is actually the brother of a good friend of mine, and his case has been pending for almost as long. Oh, the wonders of small towns, huh? Not too long after, the defense attorney comes back in, her client still out of sight, but she's holding a stack of papers and presents them to the state attorney, who starts reading and signing. This is it; it can only mean a plea. But what do I know?

But he confirms and shows us the documents quietly as the court is still abuzz all around us. He warns us and says that the defendant has to confirm all of this with the judge and he could back out at any time, and in fact, he half-suspects him to chicken out and deny the plea at the last second. He's hopeful but not confident.

Our docket is called and in walks the defendant in jailhouse stripes and cuffs. It's not the first time I've seen him in court, but it's weird every time. The lawyer informs the judge that they have reached a plea agreement, and thus begins an eternity of questions from the judge, validating that the defendant is fully aware of what is happening. The defendant replies each time, for what seems like an hour:

"Yes, sir."

And my heart is racing with each question from the judge, terrified that it will be the question that will cause the killer to hesitate, to say "No, sir" and back out of the whole mess. The near future and possibly sanity of my family hangs in the balance with each question and each response. I hate that this man still has this power over us; the ability to resolve this quickly and quietly, or to bring our family further into hell for all the public to see.

He's says "Yes, sir" one last time and it's over. The judge says that magic word, "Guilty", an aunt makes a brief and tearful statement on behalf of the family, and then they sentence him right there. We watch, hardly breathing, as they take a last DNA sample from him and one last set of fingerprint (why there in the courtroom, I have no idea), before they escort him out of the room and out of our lives.
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Re: My Last Day in Court

Postby Burnt Hill » Thu Aug 25, 2016 9:58 pm

That's agonizing. Better than a drawn out trial though, no?
My family has recently gone through a legal battle- no where nearly as devastating a situation as yours- and it was nerve wracking.
Yes you still have a hard road in front of you, stuff will pop up in mysterious ways.
Though even from what little I know of you I believe you will handle things well.
Peace to you and yours.
:sun:
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Re: My Last Day in Court

Postby elfismiles » Fri Aug 26, 2016 10:18 am

So glad there is movement towards closure and greater possible healing for you and your family.

So sorry for your loss and the trauma the events (and the legal system) cause.

- miles
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Re: My Last Day in Court

Postby Cordelia » Fri Aug 26, 2016 12:08 pm

Hugs and my deepest condolences to you Novem5er. :hug1:

Almost two years seems a long time to agonize over the court's decision and I pray your family will find peace with the wait over.

I also lost a parent to homicide. There was never any arrest made (the police buried the case faster than we could bury my dad). It took me a long, long time to understand the toll such an event can take and there's never a day that goes by when I don't allow myself to grieve his loss (and my rage that I'll never know who killed him), if needed.

Be really, really easy on yourself and your family, especially with the anniversary coming up. How are your children doing? I hope you can find restorative time now that you're through the legal process and can begin the future with further healing for yourself and family.

:praybow
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Re: My Last Day in Court

Postby Wombaticus Rex » Fri Aug 26, 2016 12:45 pm

This is probably the most disgusting response I can offer, but it's me: that was beautifully written. Thank you.
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Re: My Last Day in Court

Postby 82_28 » Fri Aug 26, 2016 2:15 pm

Bear in mind and I could give names, but won't. The premeditated murder of my best friend (throat slit in the middle of a street) wound up with the perp serving around two years. He's free now and just zipping along in life. I am friends with his daughter and the rest of the family for forever but "justice" is strange. I don't think it exactly exists. According to friends who were around he had made this guy leave the bar he was at watching the Superbowl at and the dude that killed him went home and snagged a kitchen knife. He didn't know what hit him. I don't know what to say other than yeah, this fucking shit happens. I will never forget the phone call where I heard "X" was murdered. It was unthinkable.

Same with 1999 in Colorado and with Columbine and shit. Nobody in Denver could see straight. Now it's just commonplace.
There is no me. There is no you. There is all. There is no you. There is no me. And that is all. A profound acceptance of an enormous pageantry. A haunting certainty that the unifying principle of this universe is love. -- Propagandhi
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Re: My Last Day in Court

Postby Novem5er » Fri Aug 26, 2016 2:56 pm

Burnt Hill » Thu Aug 25, 2016 9:58 pm wrote:That's agonizing. Better than a drawn out trial though, no?
My family has recently gone through a legal battle- no where nearly as devastating a situation as yours- and it was nerve wracking.
Yes you still have a hard road in front of you, stuff will pop up in mysterious ways.
Though even from what little I know of you I believe you will handle things well.
Peace to you and yours.
:sun:


I appreciate it. I come from a family where it was a big deal for my father to get a speeding ticket (the shame!). Dealing with the court system just wasn't something we did or worried about - but I'm finding more and more now that crime and lawsuits are more common than I ever realized growing up.

elfismiles » Fri Aug 26, 2016 10:18 am wrote:So glad there is movement towards closure and greater possible healing for you and your family.

So sorry for your loss and the trauma the events (and the legal system) cause.

- miles


Thank you! It's only been a day, but my wife called me this afternoon and said that she was already feeling some closure, and that she never expected to. There's a long way to go, but she recognized that first step.

Cordelia » Fri Aug 26, 2016 12:08 pm wrote:Hugs and my deepest condolences to you Novem5er. :hug1:

Almost two years seems a long time to agonize over the court's decision and I pray your family will find peace with the wait over.

I also lost a parent to homicide. There was never any arrest made (the police buried the case faster than we could bury my dad). It took me a long, long time to understand the toll such an event can take and there's never a day that goes by when I don't allow myself to grieve his loss (and my rage that I'll never know who killed him), if needed.

Be really, really easy on yourself and your family, especially with the anniversary coming up. How are your children doing? I hope you can find restorative time now that you're through the legal process and can begin the future with further healing for yourself and family.

:praybow


I can't even imagine "not knowing" who had killed a parent. It's been nearly two years for us waiting for justice, but to think that it we'd never get it? That's unbearable and I'm so sorry you've had to continue dealing with that. My kids are okay-ish. They don't know the details of their grandma's death (too young!) but they talk about her every week and still cry at night sometimes.

Wombaticus Rex » Fri Aug 26, 2016 12:45 pm wrote:This is probably the most disgusting response I can offer, but it's me: that was beautifully written. Thank you.


I appreciate the compliment and I don't take offense to it at all. I know I don't always "post my best" on this forum, due to time, distraction, and sometimes (to be honest) I don't have much to really add that's new, BUT I like to think I'm a competent writer when it's important.

82_28 » Fri Aug 26, 2016 2:15 pm wrote:Bear in mind and I could give names, but won't. The premeditated murder of my best friend (throat slit in the middle of a street) wound up with the perp serving around two years. He's free now and just zipping along in life. I am friends with his daughter and the rest of the family for forever but "justice" is strange. I don't think it exactly exists. According to friends who were around he had made this guy leave the bar he was at watching the Superbowl at and the dude that killed him went home and snagged a kitchen knife. He didn't know what hit him. I don't know what to say other than yeah, this fucking shit happens. I will never forget the phone call where I heard "X" was murdered. It was unthinkable.

Same with 1999 in Colorado and with Columbine and shit. Nobody in Denver could see straight. Now it's just commonplace.


I think this is a bond that a lot of people share, especially here. At my mother-in-law's funeral, my best friend's mother attended. She's was like a second-mother to me during my teenage years and we're still close. Her own mother was murdered some thirty years prior, but I'd forgotten that fact until the funeral. She told me something that will always stick with me:

"Son," she told me, "Some people die and some people are killed. There is a difference and don't let anyone ever tell you its the same."

I really appreciate the kind words, everyone.
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Re: My Last Day in Court

Postby Cordelia » Sat Aug 27, 2016 3:53 pm

Novem5er » Fri Aug 26, 2016 5:56 pm wrote:
I think this is a bond that a lot of people share, especially here. At my mother-in-law's funeral, my best friend's mother attended. She's was like a second-mother to me during my teenage years and we're still close. Her own mother was murdered some thirty years prior, but I'd forgotten that fact until the funeral. She told me something that will always stick with me:

"Son," she told me, "Some people die and some people are killed. There is a difference and don't let anyone ever tell you its the same."




Thanks for that primordial gem from your wise second-mother. Made me chuckle because she summed up in two sentences what scholars laboriously research and then put to heavily foot-noted papers to be published in pedantic academic journals. :thumbsup
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