by Floyd Smoots » Tue Feb 07, 2006 10:09 pm
I'm sure many of you R.I.'ers are by now, familiar with the Department of Homeless inSecurity's infamous "No Fly List". While I was just now explaining it to my son-in-law, which he quite understood when I was done, I started this conversational thread with him.<br><br>The progression of thought goes as follows:<br><br>1. First, for God-only-knows, WHAT reason, you are placed "discreetly" on the "No Fly List".<br><br>2. Later, because you still remain loyal to "We The People", in spite of all you are supposed to have learned about "terror-isn't", you are then placed on the "No Gettin' On A Frappin' Greyhound Bus List".<br><br>3. If you continue in your foolish patriotic love for your fellow countrymen (& women), and goodfolk acquantainces from other (Furrin) countries, you will be placed on a "No Fare List" with all your local taxicab companies. Learn to stick out your thumb with elan.<br><br>4. If you Still haven't given up your "Jehad-Liberal, Commie Rat Bastard, Homo Sapien-Loving" ways, you will be placed on the "NO BUY LIST" with ALL new and used car dealerships, in ALL FIFTY of these disconnected, Untied States uv Amerika (and probably Canada & Mexico, too). In other words, "No, damnfool, yo' ass cain't buy no car!!! W'ut wuz yo' dumb ass thinkin'? Huh?? Iz yoo stoopid??? We don't CARE whut ya brung ta trade in! Git a dam' skateboard if'n you needs ta go somewhars!!!<br><br>5. When you FINALLY Still don't get the message, you will, Alas, be placed on the "No Shoe List". You will not even be able to buy a pair of used shoes from your local clothing charity's Thrift Shoppe. When that happens, before your last pair of Nikes, Reeboks, Adidases, or "Wally World" knockoffs wear out, I recommend this, last, best tactic. Find a good BFR (Big Frapping Rock), smash out the window of the nearest liquor store, grab all you can, and then Run Like Hell to your nearest hideout and enjoy it before "They Come To Take You Away, Ha-Ha"!!!<br><br>Words of Wisdom Courtesy Of:<br>Crazy Ol' Uncle Floyd<br> <p></p><i></i>