strawberries: cheap thrills

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strawberries: cheap thrills

Postby MacCruiskeen » Tue Jun 03, 2008 4:27 pm

This morning, being the suspicious type, I lifted up the leaves on the plants on my balcony and there they were: small, ripe, scarlet, delicious.

I am no gardener, so I was inordinately pleased by these eight strawberries, precisely half of which I immediately gave away, as if they were mine to give. They are the first edible things I have ever conjured up in my life. It was a gift from nowhere. I was transported straight back to the good old days of the tooth fairy.

The downside is, I keep thinking someone is going to turn up and charge me for them. This can't possibly be legal.

Image

Pic: Aliens
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Postby sunny » Tue Jun 03, 2008 4:34 pm

They're beautiful Mac-way to go!
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They look like wild strawbs McC

Postby slow_dazzle » Tue Jun 03, 2008 6:16 pm

although the presence of straw suggests purposeful planting...

I grow 'em in my garden. The cat from next door occasionally craps in my garden and I toy with sending a .22 short in its direction when that happens. But even though I'm not particularly fond of cats I wouldn't harm the moggie and the law would take a dim view of discharging a firearm in a built up area in any case. So I just lay half oranges around and that pisses it off so it goes elsewhere. Being a sap I sometimes feed said moggie if it looks hungry.

Wild strawbs are very intense in flavour and a very good source of vitamin C.

No doubt growing of wild strawberries WILL be illegal, especially on balconies. Ripe fruits can fall to the ground with the risk of staining lightly attired passers by and harvesting small fruits on balconies is a health and safety risk. I don't walk under ladders but not because I am superstitious. Things fall off of ladders such as painters and some of them are very large. Likewise, harvesting from balconies might give rise to falling from height and if you are very large passers by might not be happy if you landed on them. Even if you are not very large I suspect most passers by would say "oi mate wot the bleedin' 'ell is going on" if you fell off your balcony and landed on them. It would be worse if you were clutching freshly harvested strawberries and the unfortunate passer by was attired in light coloured apparel. I seem to recall there is a statute titled "Staining of Light Coloured Apparel While Harvesting Strawberries From Height (Offences) Act 1865".

Yours in jest.

s_d

ps - yummmmm
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Postby Sweejak » Tue Jun 03, 2008 11:31 pm

The downside is, I keep thinking someone is going to turn up and charge me for them. This can't possibly be legal.


I feel the same about rainwater collection, and they will, one day.

"When chickens are outlawed, only outlaws will raise chickens"
-- Stan Cox, Big Brother Close Up
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Postby MacCruiskeen » Wed Jun 04, 2008 7:04 am

Sunny & S-D, I should point out that the photo is generic, via Google Images. My own personal strawberries were eaten long before I had even thought of photographing them. And today there were only 1.5 new ripe ones.

Boy, am I pleased with those strawberries, though. Now I know how Parsons and Hubbard felt when they carried out thee Babylon Working.
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