Jani's at the mercy of her mind

[lightningBugout]

Mostly just an fyi for Mr. Cruise. I'm on it (as best I can be). I've forwarded this story to a truly exceptional healer. It might nor sound like much, but the person in question is fucking in-credible.

Mac, other than the obvious, surface distaste for injustice, what compels you towards this story so fucking strongly? No judgment implied. Just curious.

[winston smith]

So if I can empathise with that child, and I can, then it's not because I've been through any remotely comparable ordeal. It's because I'm a mammal of the human species. And empathising is a task literally anyone can master,

Hi Mac, if you are feeling empathy your programming may be malfunctioning.

I started out reading this and blaming the parents, and believing they were completely out of line -- and I GREW UP WITH THIS. It's THAT easy to forget what it was like.

Hi Nashville, thanyou so much for writing its really helped me.

Those who have NOT lived with a violently mentally ill person are astoundingly judgemental about something with which they have no experience.

Hi Nordic. I cannot believe some of the stuff I have gone through in the last few years. Some of its insane, some of its a blur and at times another persons mental imbalance has caused me to act in ways I would never have believed myself capable of.

[MacCruiskeen]

So her father, a failed teacher out of work, and more than likely (like many teachers) an aspiring writer, is blogging this horror story possibly in hopes of making some money some where down the road, at his daughter's expense (possibly after these people have destroyed her)? Am I reading this correctly?

I think you might well be. Among the handful of websites he links to is the blog of his writing teacher. And for someone who claims he never has a second to himself -- because of "schizophrenic January", of course, of course -- he still manages to produce more copy daily than the average Guardian columnist. Plus a new embedded YouTube music video each day, the soundtrack to the ongoing (or forthcoming?) Hollywood movie (I Am Her Voice) in which he has given himself the starring role. - Does this sound judgmental (sic)? Well, what does one call it when someone approves of that blog? (And nearly everyone does, often fawningly - check out the comments, if you can bear to.) Those are judgments too, are they not? Exactly what obliges us to share those judgments?

Sorry I can't read the blog. Can't. Literally. I'd just start crying. You can't read through blurred vision. I'm already so angry I can't see straight.

Well, that's what I'd call a sane empathetic response to a detailed report of severe and ongoing child abuse, and there's certainly no need to apologise for it. Please don't let agitprop or any other callow tough-talker -- or judicious fence-sitter, or quack doctor -- talk you out of it. (Just incredible, those responses - "You need to grow up." "THINK." "Anyone else would pitch the kid off a cliff." "Maybe it's her thyroid?" "We need more research." "Who are we to judge?" "It's clearly genetic." "Doctor Knows Best." "Who the fuck do you think YOU are, judging people like that?" Etcetera, etcetera, ad nauseam. - But this is normal. Normal. It's the norm, all right.)

Also, nashvillebrook, you're a very strong person. Thank you for sharing your personal insight into something so traumatic.

Seconded. Nashvillebrook, could you tell us any more about what preceded your half-brother's being diagnosed with "mental illness" as a child, apart from his being locked in a room on his own? Only if you feel like it, of course. Thanks.

[MacCruiskeen]

Mostly just an fyi for Mr. Cruise. I'm on it (as best I can be). I've forwarded this story to a truly exceptional healer. It might nor sound like much, but the person in question is fucking in-credible.

Glad to hear it, LB. Someone else PM'd me yesterday who had been in touch with another person who may be able to do something.

I've drafted a mail to Alice Miller and will try to send it today. She's in her eighties now and in Switzerland, but maybe she can contact someone influential on the West Coast, who knows.

Mac, other than the obvious, surface distaste for injustice, what compels you towards this story so fucking strongly? No judgment implied. Just curious.

Short answer:

1. Because this soul-murder and medical martyrdom, probably culminating in the child's actual death, is going on as we speak.

2. Because I'm getting sick of the Net's tendency to encourage the passive consumption of other people's misery as entertainment.

3. Because of what it tells us about the shocking state of the psychiatric business, which is responsible for the "treatment" of millions of other children too.

[nashvillebrook]

There was likely a 'nurture' side to Justin's mental illness, in addition to the 'nature' side. The reason why I my grandmother adopted me was b/c Joyce was mentally ill/alcoholic/etc, and had abandoned me with the grandparents straight away after I was born. Think, Casey Anthony -- that's really the best analogy. Joyce was an unstable partier, and the grandmother recognized that she would likely do damage to an infant -- let alone be able to raise a child in a healthy environment -- not that the grandmother was a stellar parent, just better by default.

Things that argue for an organic etiology of Justin's mental illness are that his mother was mentally ill, and he was a 10-month baby (they didn't induce labor, and I'm not sure is that was b/c she wasn't seeking medical care, or b/c they just didn't do that in 1970). Extended gestation, I've read, can lead to problems -- but it's been a long time since I've researched this, and there's likely much better data now.

My experience of Justin, as his older sister by 4 years, was that he didn't develop the way you'd expect. He didn't talk or walk when he was supposed to (Aspberger's?). He had a speech impediment where, even at 7 years old there were letters he couldn't sound out -- "B" was the one that clued me into this, b/c my name starts with a B and he couldn't say my name. I noticed his echolalia one Christmas morning when we were playing with our toys -- this must have been when he was 5, b/c I'm going by when I know they came to live with us. Whatever he said, he'd repeat the last few words to himself. Around this time I had a tabby cat that he tortured -- pulling her tail and squeezing her until she made a noise. He also destroyed things, and laughed as if it gave him joy. I had a collection of 45s (Elvis, Zombies, etc), and he would bite them in two. It was like he had a devil on his shoulder telling him to do this stuff.

Now, it was the 70s and we had 2 generations of "parents" in the house. When I was legally adopted (at 6), my a-mother had to attend a whole bunch of classes to learn parenting skills. So, they employed "time out" and other calming techniques for him. As I remember it, the door locking thing was a boundary issue. They had been trying to get him on a schedule and he threw fits, so they were trying to let him 'cry it out' and not reinforce the fit-throwing by giving him attention.

Those were the early years. As he grew older his behavior became much more scary. He had a problem with "obscene gestures." Omg -- that phrase just brings back so many memories, b/c I heard mother say it so many times. Any attempts to real in his behavior was met with really off-the-wall obscene gestures, like exposing himself or grabbing his crotch. He would have 9-10 b/c this was at our new house. His echolalia also became more sinister, as he wasn't just repeating what he said -- he started to implore back at something, and argue with "it." This was about the time he started having real problems at school -- hurting other kids, and finally teachers and the principle.

Joyce and Justin would live with us for a year or so, then try to make it on their own, then come back for another extended period of time. So, I don't know exactly what it was like for him when they weren't around us. However, I have some thoughts. He had a scar on his lower back that matched exactly a belt buckle that Joyce had. I witnessed her once trying to whip him with an electrical cord. She wanted to be zoned out 100 percent of the time, and if anything got in her way, she would pick up whatever was closest and use it as a weapon. There was no thought to it at all. Pure animal reaction. And the really scary thing is that we don't know what kind of people Joyce was hanging out with when she was with us (drying out).

What argues for his mental illness being the result of abuse are Joyce's temperament, alcoholism and lifestyle (I know she was an exotic dancer later in life when Justin was a late teenager, and she was living with mother... not a good dynamic). His natural father was also known to be abusive, as he had thrown Joyce down a flight of stairs, which I believe precipitated their break-up. She did not dedicate her life to his well-being.

In Joyce's case we have an alcoholic, mentally ill, narcissistic, barely functioning person who couldn't deal with life, and lived with the parents she ostensibly couldn't stand, in order to make ends meet.

Jani's folks don't seem to me to be anywhere near this level of "bad parent." That the father is blogging their life seems to a decent adaptive strategy, and that he isn't "prettying it up" also seems healthy. They aren't deluding themselves about their difficulties. The blog also provides a record of their strategies/responses that could prove to be valuable in ferreting out an approach that will work. For instance, that Jani's instant aggression might be 'hypnotic mania' is a data point that wouldn't be available to masses of people who could help, if it weren't for the blog.

Instead of hiding the problem, they are exposing it for everyone to judge, which seems to me to be reaching out for a support system rather than coiling back into some hidden cave of horror. That's not typical abuser behavior. That, to me, is the behavior of people who genuinely seek the right thing to do, and recognize that they NEED HELP doing it. Yes, it's kinda narcissistic to live-blog your life. But, he a writer. Writers write. It's the one tool in his chest that he feels he can wield competently. I don't have a problem with this. I wish my parents had the means to reach out and bring other viewpoints to the problem. They retreated, which didn't do anyone any good.

The more I think about this, the more I want to identify with Jani. I want her 'illness' to be something bigger than just schizophrenia. I want it to be something meta -- that her fascination with numbers is some kind of divine code that will unlock the secrets of time travel, or warp speed. In the back of my mind I think that's a possibility. But, on the other hand, she just might be sick. We don't know.

I would love for Oliver Sacks to look into this.

[chiggerbit]

There's something not quite right about this story.

[agitprop]

Well, that's what I'd call a sane empathetic response to a detailed report of severe and ongoing child abuse, and there's certainly no need to apologise for it. Please don't let agitprop or any other callow tough-talker -- or judicious fence-sitter, or quack doctor -- talk you out of it. (Just incredible, those responses - "You need to grow up." "THINK." "Anyone else would pitch the kid off a cliff." "Maybe it's her thyroid?" "We need more research." "Who are we to judge?" "It's clearly genetic." "Doctor Knows Best." Thanks.

You have a stunning ability to generalize when you should be more specific. Each case of psychosis, child abuse, purported child abuse, has to be looked at closely, without prejudgement. You are likely a very kind very empathetic person, who for some reason, is emotionally invested in the topic of child abuse. Maybe you were abused as a child, in which case it's understandable. But you have to remember that if you're not reviewing each case before you with a little more impartiality, you have developed a closed loop of a belief system, a religion, a fundamentalist ideology. The road to hell surely is paved with good intentions, though.

[mentalgongfu2]

There's something not quite right about this story.

I'm with you, Chig. I just can't take the whole thing at face value. Something is off. I've been re-reading the article trying to figure it out but I still can't put my finger on it.

July 8, 2008: Claps hands, hops (tic-like); food can't touch; strips clothes off if she thinks they have a spot. Wants order and perfection in play, toys, stories.

Nov. 11, 2008: Talking to a "bird named 34" on her hand. Drawing on her clothes and body with permanent marker. Screaming at school and in the waiting room.

Jan. 7, 2009: Patient is psychotic; talking to rats naming them the days of the week . . . I believe it would be in the best interests of January and her family to have her placed in residential treatment.

[Col. Quisp]

I agree with Chig and mentalgongfu2. Something isn't quite right about this. I idn't wanna be the lone skeptic.

[agitprop]

I agree with Chig and mentalgongfu2. Something isn't quite right about this. I idn't wanna be the lone skeptic.

Can you be more specific?

[MacCruiskeen]

I agree with Chig and mentalgongfu2. Something isn't quite right about this. I didn't wanna be the lone skeptic.

Sorry Col. Quisp, but I really have to ask: Are you joking? Have you been following the thread at all?

There's something not quite right about this story.

Again: Chiggerbit, and very seriously: Are you joking? Was that irony and deliberate understatement?

Have you visited that guy's blog at all? Have you read any of the extracts of it I've posted here?

Seriously. This is becoming bizarre.

[monster]

GET A ROPE

[chiggerbit]

Again: Chiggerbit, and very seriously: Are you joking? Was that irony and deliberate understatement?

Have you visited that guy's blog at all? Have you read any of the extracts of it I've posted here?

Seriously. This is becoming bizarre.

Mac, I'm not sure, but I think we're talking beans, and YOU are talking carrots. Like mgf, I can't put my finger on it. But, just for instance, I just did a quick google on the author--and she seems to check out fine--but just something not right about the story. So, it's not the author, so what it it? It's like some entire section of the puzzle is missing, you know what I mean? Sorry, I just don't have the time to go back through it piece by piece to make a list of what it is that's bothering me.

[lightningBugout]

After reading the father's blog, I no longer feel comfortable commenting so much on this story.

I was amused by the fact that the copious suggestions for exorcism he has received are dismissed as belonging to "insane christians" while he spends a good deal of time talking about Jesus, Judas and salvation (via the U2 song Until the End of the World, which is perhaps the only U2 song I love).

The blog strikes me as including tremendous amounts of narcissistic projection onto his daughter. In one instance he goes out of his way to explain to another child in the park that Jani has named her doll "baby 58" because she "likes numbers." I don't understand why the father feels so incredibly self conscious about this as to need to explain it at all (kids like to make up weird names, period) and so I am not surprised it might provoke an aggressive reaction, perhaps of embarrassment from her.

But above and beyond all else, reading descriptions of what, at least, sounds like the perfectly healthy make-believe of children being described as "psychosis" is bone-chilling.

[Zap]

I'm getting sick of the Net's tendency to encourage the passive consumption of other people's misery as entertainment.

THAT's enter-trainment!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entrainment