Andrew Morton's Tom Cruise bio 'shocking claims'

[jingofever]

I don't know when, but some time ago I was going to post this here:

I have a stupid theory to add but about which I am deadly serious. Maybe you all remember a story about Tom Cruise shopping around for a Hollywood bride (he attempted to woo Scarlett Johansson and others (allegedly Dakota Fanning) after Penelope Cruz and others didn't fall for Scientology (maybe they were too old?)). Of course he ended up with Katie Holmes, the pride and joy of Toledo, Ohio, after Jamie Farr. Kate we called her, but not anymore. Anyway, there was a lot of speculation that Tom didn't get Kate pregnant, that she wasn't really pregnant, just a pillow you know. There was something off about this pregnancy, everybody knew it. Well let me tell you folks a secret: every Scientology baby contains half of the DNA of L. Ron Hubbard. He has created an army and it is only a matter of time before they get cloning perfected and no, this isn't done in house. A number of scientologists have infiltrated the Raelians and passed along their technology back to clone central in Clearwater. And then it'll be over, we will be inundated with L. Ron.

I would believe it right away if Suri had Ron's totally weird lips. The man had really weird lips!

When Tom Cruise went on Ellen to show off Suri pictures he pointed out the lips, saying they were Kate's. Corroborating evidence.

These allegations are too weird to be false. And it isn't the first time I have read about the field of flowers (not that it is particularly damning).

[annie aronburg]

I don't know when, but some time ago I was going to post this here:

I have a stupid theory to add but about which I am deadly serious. Maybe you all remember a story about Tom Cruise shopping around for a Hollywood bride (he attempted to woo Scarlett Johansson and others (allegedly Dakota Fanning) after Penelope Cruz and others didn't fall for Scientology (maybe they were too old?)). Of course he ended up with Katie Holmes, the pride and joy of Toledo, Ohio, after Jamie Farr. Kate we called her, but not anymore. Anyway, there was a lot of speculation that Tom didn't get Kate pregnant, that she wasn't really pregnant, just a pillow you know. There was something off about this pregnancy, everybody knew it. Well let me tell you folks a secret: every Scientology baby contains half of the DNA of L. Ron Hubbard. He has created an army and it is only a matter of time before they get cloning perfected and no, this isn't done in house. A number of scientologists have infiltrated the Raelians and passed along their technology back to clone central in Clearwater. And then it'll be over, we will be inundated with L. Ron.

That's a great quote! Where's it from?

The mention of Dakota Fanning jostled my memory of this fun little timewaster:
http://savedakota.blogspot.com/2005_07_01_archive.html

Mission Statement: Our ultimate mission is to save Dakota Fanning from the clutches of Mr. Icky Cruise. To do this, we plan to display Mr. Icky Cruise's character, as we see it (aka our opinion, do not sue), for all who care to look, to see.

The "Dakota fanning as child-bride of Cruise" schtick kind of ran it's course, but they're still full-on with their TomKat hate.

I wonder if there's a single gay man on earth who believes those two actually mated. If there is, he's not on the internet.

When I'm bored I pretend they trot Suri around the globe to show off the latest in-vitro/cloning tech to their sterile billionaire pals. Sperm and eggs are chosen from highly compensated celebrity "donors", assembled at Cedars-Sinai or the back of a 7-11 somewhere and the whole shebang gets outsourced to nice white eastern european womb.
No stretch marks, no scheduling your c-section around fashion week and resort season.

Certainly Vincent Gallo's not the only one to think this through....
http://www.vgmerchandise.com/store/pages.php?pageid=4

Reading books like Roald Dahl's My Uncle Oswald (sshhh, don't tell Hugh) in high school probably made me receptive to these ideas.

Plot summary
Oswald discovers the world's most powerful aphrodisiac and with the aid of a female accomplice uses it to seduce the world's most famous men, with the intent of selling their semen to women wishing to be impregnated by them.
Victims of Oswald's plot (in order of appearance in the book)
Alfonso XIII, King of Spain
Pierre-Auguste Renoir, a French painter
Claude Monet, a French painter
Igor Stravinsky, a Russian composer
Pablo Picasso, a Spanish painter
Henri Matisse, a French artist
Marcel Proust, a French novelist
Vaslav Nijinsky, a Polish-born Russian ballet dancer and choreographer
James Joyce, an expatriate Irish writer and poet
Giacomo Puccini, an Italian operatic composer
Sergei Rachmaninoff, a Russian composer, conductor and pianist
Sigmund Freud, an Austrian neurologist and founder of psychoanalysis
Albert Einstein, a German-born theoretical physicist
Thomas Mann, a German novelist
Joseph Conrad, a Polish-born British novelist
H. G. Wells, a British writer
Rudyard Kipling, an Indian-born British author and poet
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, a British writer and creator of Sherlock Holmes
George Bernard Shaw, an Irish-British playwright

Annie

[FourthBase]

Oh good grief, babies' hair change colors all the time, from the time they are born until they're much older, their hair color can be different from month to month.

My sister had almost jet-black hair when she was born, and then turned into a blond!

My son was born with super-blond hair and it's just getting darker and darker as he gets older. He's five now and it's a light brown now, hardly blond at all.

Within a year of birth??????

[theeKultleeder]

I wonder if there's a single gay man on earth who believes those two actually mated. If there is, he's not on the internet.

Why don't you let the (gay) men speak, honeybunches.

Really. Don't even try it.

[annie aronburg]

Within a year of birth??????

Usually within a year of birth.

Not only that their eyes change color too!

So mysterious, these babies can we really trust them?

AA

[FourthBase]

I wonder if there's a single gay man on earth who believes those two actually mated. If there is, he's not on the internet.

Why don't you let the (gay) men speak, honeybunches.

Really. Don't even try it.

You're not suggesting Cruise isn't gay, are you?

Within a year of birth??????

Usually within a year of birth.

Not only that their eyes change color too!

So mysterious, these babies can we really trust them?

AA

I guess I had no idea about that. Though now that I think about it, it makes sense for features to change like that, isn't there an evolved tendency for babies to look like their mother for the first year -- and tendency for the mother's family to say a baby looks like the mother, lol I'm not kidding there's a study -- something to do with preserving the MPI from the cuckolded in that crucial first year?

[Wombaticus Rex]

^^Absolutely, my little sister also did the black hair --> blonde transition

watched it happen, glad to vouch for it

[sunny]

What do you know, he's up on the fake babies too.
http://www.dlisted.com/node/21092

You gonna give away all my sources?

Dlisted is my secret shame....

hee hee, don't feel bad Jeff, me too.

Wombat, my daughter did a very blonde to dark red transition, but she didn't start getting her dark hair until just before Kindergarden.


I always thought TC was unable to sow the field, so to speak, which is why I thought Nicole Kidman's miscarriage just before the breakup was the cause of the divorce. TC's cryptic "she knows what she did" seemed to confirm this. Now we learn he may have thrown her over because she's a "suppressive person". Lucky girl. Now we know she's a normal person.

Also, dlisted has been all over the Britney crack-up which reminded me of last year's thread "Mind-controlled sex slaves flip out". Might be interesting to revisit that subject.

[theeKultleeder]

You're not suggesting Cruise isn't gay, are you?

I honestly don't have a frikkin clue. And I don't think you have, either.

If it's been proven, show me the pictures or a pattern of behavior arising from the testimonies of multiple credible people.

I mean, why should I accept it as a given? I don't even care, but I guess his sexuality is a key in the conspiracy theory of this thread. Even this overlooks the fact that many men engage in homosexual behavior and still keep wives and raise children.

[annie aronburg]

What do you know, he's up on the fake babies too.
http://www.dlisted.com/node/21092

You gonna give away all my sources?

Dlisted is my secret shame....

hee hee, don't feel bad Jeff, me too.

Wow, suddenly I don't feel so alone anymore.

That thread on d-listed has 460 comments which is a lot for that site. Not all of the "First! OMG grosss ewwwwww "variety, either, some choice Co$ gossip in there including photos of L.Rons kids for comparison.
http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Secrets/Medi ... -kids.html

I feel uplifted when I see comments like this on a a website like that.

That is VERY, VERY common. Check out Paulette Cooper, and Operation Freakout. They actually almost got her jailed for bomb threats that she didn't make! They fucking framed her, and the only reason they got caught was because they got caught bugging the FBI, and were raided, and the plans for Operation Freakout were uncovered. The media rarely talks about $cientology because these threats are so common. They would rather play it safe, because even if they DON'T threaten you, they will sue you. That was one of LRH's favorite HCOBs...."never use a lawsuit for anything other than to harass and destroy" (paraphrased a little bit, check out those sites for more accuracy). They are a SCARY, SCARY CULT, and they are the reason I boycott so many celebs, and their shit, because I refuse to support a fascist organization."

[Sweet Tooth]

Well, the baby definitely has Tom's eyes, IMO.

Am I the only one who feels kind of sorry for Tom Cruise? I've always liked the guy, and thought the couch-jumping episode was the most over-hyped "scandal" since Howard Dean's pep rally enthusiasm got turned into the media equivalent of public infanticide. Yes, he came across like a dick in his interview with Matt Lauer. But then again, I've seen Lauer act like a dick to others on many occasions (especially in one particularly and unnecessarily abrassive interview with Hilary Clinton, whom I also don't hate, despite many in the media's best efforts to make me).

I mean, sure, Scientology is a sinister force with a very troubling history, no doubt about it. But I think Tom is more of a victim of that force than one of its perpetrators.

[sunny]

Sweet Jerky I would never hold it against TC for being a dick to Matt Lauer. I have hated that guy since he treated Rosie Perez like a complete idiot, really taunting her about her supposed lack of intellect. (I guess because of her thick Queens? Brooklyn? accent) The msm's reaction to the couch jumping episode was over the top imo, and I often wondered at the real reason they had it out for him. Seems to me Paramount had other, unkown reasons for wanting to rid themselves of TC.

But I do not feel sorry for TC. He's a little too enthusiastic, too into it, to be a victim, dontcha think?

annie, that dlisted commenter must read RI. But I think it's impossible to boycott all CO$ members, as some of them are on the dl, or at the very least extremely hesitant to admit to a connection. Jennifer Lopez is said to be planning for a "silent birth" despite her denials. (Isn't her father a member?) I'm convinced Oprah is stealth CO$, which is another reason Obama scares the hell out of me.

[theeKultleeder]

I'm convinced Oprah is stealth CO$,

Why?

[FourthBase]

Jennifer Lopez is said to be planning for a "silent birth" despite her denials. (Isn't her father a member?)

Yes, he is. And it's inconceivable that she isn't, either.

Re: Oprah, it's the extreme BFF-ness with Travolta, Cruise. She also heaps an inordinate amount of adulation on (confirmed) Scientologist guests on her show. I would like to see a breakdown of appearances and face time for Travolta, Cruise, Alley, Presley vs. other actor guests.

[sunny]

tKl re: Oprah. ^^What Fourthbase said.