The boundaries are there for a reason.
For instance, even the boundaries between myself and my stepdaughter have changed since she hit adolescence and physically developed.
You don't let your little kid go off with an adult, even the family doctor, in a case like what is described with this guy.
It's a boundary violation and should set off some red flags.
If you're an adult who is around kids a lot, you find yourself being very conscious of them and wanting to make sure nobody in your community misconstrues anything you do, so there aren't things said, or suspected, or whatever. The last thing you want is for people to think of you as "creepy" or "untrustworthy".
That's why I never quite get how these guys get away with what they do. They either are REALLY good at choosing their victims, and have a real subconscious talent for it, or else they just get away with stuff for far longer than they should.
There was a teacher in the local middleschool here, very upscale neighborhood, very conscientious parents (a lot of rich Moms with plenty of free time to help run the school and always having a hand in things) and somehow this guy, for years, was molesting sixth and seventh grade girls. He finally got busted when somebody videotaped him. He must have been quite gifted at choosing his victims.
Here's a story about it.
http://articles.latimes.com/2008/may/05 ... me-molest5
A popular 60-year-old teacher at Lincoln Middle School in Santa Monica has been arrested on suspicion of molesting four of his female students in incidents that occurred during school hours, authorities said.
In at least one case, the alleged abused continued for more than a year, according to Santa Monica police.
Thomas Arthur Beltran, a Los Angeles resident who has taught in Santa Monica for about 30 years, was taken into custody Saturday and remained jailed in lieu of $1.1 million bail, police said. He had yet to be charged by the district attorney's office.
Santa Monica police announced the arrest at a news conference Sunday, and Lt. Alex Padilla later said investigators wanted to "make sure, if we have any other victims out there, we can talk to them before we present the case to the D.A."
Some parent leaders at the school said they found the allegations difficult to believe.
"He has a stellar reputation," said one parent, who asked not to be named because of the sensitivity of the matter. "He was known to have a really good character -- well-respected, a nice guy."
I remember, as a kid, we sorta know who the creepy guys were. My best friend from college, he knew of a teacher back in his hometown high school who always had kids over at his house, would serve them drinks, then hug them, touch them, etc. One night, in college, we'd been drinking and we decided to pay the guy a visit. Sure enough, there the guy was, in his house, lounging on the sofa, drinking beer with some high school kids. We hung out for a bit then left. One our way out, he patted us each on the ass. Not in a football-player way, but in a really gentle and tender sort of way. We thought it was kind of funny, in a creepy "can you believe that shit?" kind of way. I think I remember wondering why nobody had ever gone over and just kicked the guy's ass. (this was in the midwest around 1980). People knew. Nobody did anything. Why? My guess is that the kids that he had over were kids whose own parents either abused them, or ignored them, or otherwise neglected them.