Iamwhomiam » 08 Dec 2015 22:04 wrote:I've been reading your story and find it unenlightening. In fact, I find it offensive. And I've always respected you and your opinions before, to the best of my knowledge.
But this fear of women I find astounding coming from a homosexual man who has identified himself as "queer." I find it bizarre, actually.
Due to the discrimination you must have been subjected to in this masculine patriarchy for merely being the person you feel you must be, I would imagine you to be sympathetic to women who seek only the same, rather than hostile.
I this, I find queer.
Rather than setting forth the truth, you allow me my fantasy. How very unkind! Surely, you must remember the epiphany that first formulated your misogynistic philosophy, so why not share it with us, rather than keeping us guessing about the roots of your evil thoughts towards women? There's no harm is sharing your mom or dad or siblings, possibly in combination, really fucked up your head. It's not really all that unique, you know, if that's the case.
I mean you no harm. But your motivations are indeed a curiosity.
I mean, considering your philosophy is based upon fantasy, rather than fact.
Since you're reaching out with what I imagine is an olive branch (rather than veiled insults), I'll engage. Before I answer you, do you
really believe I hate women? Honestly? You might want to read what I've written, in this thread and maybe the thread I started (ignoring the bitch-slapping session Jack and I engaged in, which was borderline disrespectful on both sides). To help you out, I'll remind you that I've repeated the name Karen Straughan several times, a woman who articulates a position a notch or two more anti-feminist than my own. Guruilla embedded a video with a good example of her work. She jokes about how she doesn't quite look the part of an anti-feminist woman (the stereotype of which I imagine would be a quiverfull woman wearing an apron) with her "short hair and sensible shoes". I don't know that she mentions it in that particular video, but she has children and a boyfriend. In other words, an ordinary sort of person I might have in my circle of friends, and probably you as well. But more to the point: she recounts what she views as the history of feminism, and how and why she believes it is both anti-woman and anti-man. She does rightfully point out that there are multiple feminisms, and she is attacking specific ones; and so I'll admit that I need to be more careful with a word that has the potential to be triggering, as Jack points out, and specify that my position concerns specific feminisms, not all of them. I'm not asking you to agree with her, or to agree with me for that matter, but I am asking you to see both her and me as non-psychopathic individuals who have rational reasons for believing as we do. I personally feel that way about Christian fundamentalists, for example. I disagree strongly with some of their views, however I still believe that all but a few of them are regular people just trying to make sense of the world with the experiences they have had.
Beyond that point, my position is not based on "fantasy". It may certainly be mistaken (obviously I don't think so), but it is based on actual statistics and (other people's) research. My interpretation of that research (characterized as "truthy" by Jack) is that it refutes the theory of Patriarchy that proposes that (western) society systematically benefits men over women. The statistics demonstrate that there are substantial and important areas for which this is not true. You may disagree that these are important areas, or you may believe that other factors explain these phenomena, but if you want me and others like me to modify our positions (and, speaking for myself, my position can be modified by a convincing argument), then a careful and evidence-based explanation of why the statistics are wrong or not representative is in order. And it's really the concept of Patriarchy I have a problem with, because it's a very divisive concept, and (in my view) it doesn't really help society in the long run. As I mentioned here or in another thread, I'm actually OK with practical solutions to (e.g.) the wage gap issue, like encouraging women to take negotiation seminars or young women to enter STEM fields.
Also, I don't really have much actual skin in the game. I have a cushy white-collar job and a pretty good life (other than occasional odious professional tasks that motivate me to waste time on the internet). I work with many competent women who do not in any way threaten my professional standing, and I've written recommendation letters for quite a few of them. However, for various reasons related to volunteer activities undertaken by myself and my partner, I have met some pretty down-and-out young straight guys who have it rough (mostly for reasons having nothing to do with gender), and I have some compassion for their situation, and their point of view.
