Clowns, Jesters, Harlequins and Mimes
The Evil Clowns: an Adventure in Synchronicity
I can still remember my first Evil Clown. I was reading the Fortean pages at the back of OMNI (hey, they had good fiction) when I encountered one of those little factoids that I can't put away. It seems that within one months time, police in LA, Chicago, New York and Boston had received 911 calls asking that police check out a clown that made the caller uneasy. When asked what the clown was doing that merited a call, the caller would state that the clown looked "suspicious" and frightened the caller. When police were dispatched, no clowns were found.
"Cool" I thought, "the Mass Unconscious is producing scary clowns. I wonder what brought that on?" And I went on to other things.
Months later I encounter the Jack Handey line: "Most people think clowns are funny, but I've always thought they're kind of scary. I think it goes back to when I was at the circus when I was a kid, and a clown shot my Dad."
Later, National Lampoon inexplicably ran a feature called Evil Clown Comics, the tale of a hard-drinking, child-molesting, ultimately kinked clown that moves in with a single mother and turns the whole family into his sex slaves. Okay, you had to be there, but it was funny.
Later, Marvel Comics would occasionally do a lampoon story starring Blotto the Clown.
In Boot Camp, I independently discovered Urban Myths. I didn't know that such a thing existed, or that anyone studied them. I just knew that every kid I knew in grade school (including myself) swore that he had really, actually seen a kid cuss out Bozo the Clown. Swear to God. They were having this contest, see, and this one punky kid loses, see, and he goes "Aww shit!" and then Bozo says, "That's a Bozo No-no" and the kid goes 'Aww cram it clowny." No, it's true! No shit. It was live, you know, and they couldn't cut it or anything. It was soooo cool.
Yep. Every one of us saw it. I mean, I hadn't, but I wasn't about to be the only kid who'd missed it, so I saw it too. Or at least, that's what I told the other guys at summer camp when we were trading stories. Most of them saw it, too.
Then I learned something about the Bozo Show. In Boot Camp, I had the opportunity to talk to guys who had grown up all over the country. I asked them if they had seen the kid cuss on the Bozo Show. They sure as hell had, they had the whole story down cold: Game, Kid loses, Aw shit, That's a Bozo No-no, Cram it clowny, it was live so they couldn't cut it. All the key elements. In Chicago, in Boston, in Nebraska, in Arkansas, in Oklahoma yada yada.
Here's what I learned about the Bozo Show. Yes, it was live. It was also a syndicated franchise, a local show in each venue. Each Bozo on each local show was personally trained by Harmon to be Bozo, but there is no way that sequence of events could have happened on ALL of the local shows (duh). Incidentally, for you Fireside Theater fans, that's why "We're All Bozos On This Bus" and why Barney the Bozo is a clone. Hmmmm. I forgot that clown.
Inci-incidentally, I was at the opening night for a play composed of Fireside Theater material from several albums tied together by the plot of "Bozos." It was written and directed by an acquaintance with the permission of the Firesiders (who were in line behind me waiting for their comp tickets. Fun guys, of course).
Watch "Body Heat" sometime. When William Hurt's character is establishing an alibi, he rents a car in Miami. He steps from the rental office and stares quizzically at an oncoming car. POV shows a convertible driven by a clown, with a bunch of balloons tied to the car. Slo mo. The camera lingers on the clown as if it's an important plot point. Close-up of Hurt's face. He looks uneasy, as if he's had a premonition.
Imagine how I felt while reading Stephen King's "It" the first time the evil entity appears as a clown with a bunch of balloons. And, of course "Killer Klowns From Outer Space."
"Shakes the Clown" (Nono, you don't take the french fry, I give it to you. Open your mouth. Body of Binky.)
I don't know what to make of it, or if I should try. Sometimes, you've just got to let the weirdness wash over you.
Can't sleep, clowns will get me.
Can't sleep, clowns will get me.
Can't sleep, clowns will get me.
Can't sleep, clowns will get me.
Can't sleep, clowns will get me.
Can't sleep, clowns will get me.
Can't sleep, clowns will get me.
Can't sleep, clowns will get me.
Can't sleep, clowns will get me.
Can't sleep, clowns will get me.
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