Scottish Independence and the UK State

[AhabsOtherLeg]

I've still never forgiven you Scots for what you did with Charles the First. Landed us with his dad, then landed us with Cromwell.

It wisnae me!

... Seriously, though, we were really drunk at the time. And Cromwell wasn't very nice to us either. If we'd known he was going to ban Christmas we never would've gone along with it. That's like pantomime-villain-level stuff.

Otherwise I don't see the point of Balkanising the place.

Well, let's not pretend that Yugoslavia under Tito was awesome. Let's not pretend that the UK is either. By the standards of northern European countries (including Ireland and Iceland post-collapse) it's not a great place to live. Could be a lot better if Westminster's stranglehold on everything was broken. They are hugely resistant to change, unwilling to concede even the least of powers to anyone other than themselves despite all the talk of "localism" (even devolution was forced on them by the Council of Europe - they never wanted it), and often openly contemptuous of any nation in the Union that isn't England (or any part of England that isn't London, and any part of London that isn't The City or Westminster/Whitehall itself). The Balkans conflict started because Bosnia held a democratic referendum and decided to leave Yugoslavia. The Serbs weren't happy with that, and the rest is history. NATO, including the UK, supposedly joined in to protect the right of Bosnia Herzegovina to secede. As well as for humanitarian reasons, we're told.

The UK has repeatedly supported the right of nations and peoples to self-determination and democratic secession from various Unions by using our own military might, or the threat of it, over the last few decades. Hopefully military means won't be used to stymie those same rights this time around. (They have other means at their disposal anyway - MI5's remit is to protect the United Kingdom and the Crown - not England, not Scotland, not Wales, or their people. I expect they will be very active over the next few years. But they'll have to be very careful too).

There will always be underrepresented people and regions.

What about underrepresented countries and nations, though? It makes a big difference. All the "North British" hotels that were built in our cities made no difference, Gordon Brown's description of himself as a "North Briton" just made people laugh. Scotland is a country and a nation. It might soon be a state too. Here's hoping.

Go for STV, not dissolution of the Union, if you're so democratic.

STV is probably the best voting system there is, but it has serious drawbacks - namely that only electoral experts understand it. We used it in the local council elections here and the number of spoiled ballots from people putting crosses in the boxes, or giving their first preference votes automatically to the highest candidate listed on the ballot paper, was just ridiculous. I'm still in favour of STV, but we might need a better education system first.

Or, better yet, worker control of industry and the nationalisation of the natural monopolies.

One thing at a time. We're already pissing off the UK government, the Americans, NATO, and a significant portion of our own population. Can't take on everybody at once.

Better than setting the dominoes falling towards the rise of the Armed Front for the Liberation of Yorkshire.

Not sure why that doesn't exist already.

The first minute or so of this vid is funny:

[AhabsOtherLeg]

....we missed the obvious one though....



...no wonder they used the "scottish" accent....

To be fair, he does look a bit like Shrek though. That one's acceptable in my view. I will add you and Searcher to the "Friends of Scotland" list because your opinions have been judged valid by myself, the Scottish Council of Scottish Scots For Scotland, and Mein Faither. Congratulations on avoiding the camps!

.....the armed forces 'll be interesting though...plenty of Scots "dregs" in there that we would miss...aren't they about half the SAS or something.....?

According to Eddie Stone, ex-SAS himself, they made up about 75% of the SAS at one time, but it's probably a lot less now that there are more Commonwealth guys (and a few South Africans) in there. Roughly 10% of the British Army are Scots-born, with Scotland having 8.4% of the UK population, so we've done our bit I'd say (for better or worse).

I wouldn't have thought alot of the tough-nuts currently in the British Army being that keen to sign-up for a Salmond-friendly new model independent defence force & scotch whisky distillery protection force (...with overseas postings to North Sea oil rigs in the middle of winter ) when they could be taking out terrorist rag-heads on some sexy nato mission behind enemy-lines & coining-it from one of the many publishing opportunites that follow inevitably thereafter....

That's true. A lot of them are very, very British, and very loyal too - more British than the Queen as Northern Irish Loyalists used to say - and will not want to serve in a Scottish Defence Force where they will rarely, if ever, get to kill anybody. Not sure how we'll get around that and lure them back - maybe we shouldn't bother. Maybe I will have to reconsider Searcher's idea of invading the Faroes and submit a plan to the Scottish Council of Scottish Scots For Scotland (Scottish Branch).

A lot of Scots take the Oath to the Queen and the UK under sufferance though, and would be happy to serve in a smaller SDF that only takes part in UN-sanctioned peackeeping.

I guess the SAS guys will stay in the SAS but will (hopefully) be reluctant to take part in any subversive actions against their country of birth pre-referendum (and afterward).

[semper occultus]

I will add you and Searcher to the "Friends of Scotland" list because your opinions have been judged valid by myself, the Scottish Council of Scottish Scots For Scotland, and Mein Faither. Congratulations on avoiding the camps!

....a great relief to me & to you aswell.....I now won't have to unleash my dad on you to bore you at great length about his genealogical researches into my great,great......add a few .....great grandad from Gairhallow, Dunoon who made good in the Northern Irish liquor business....( like you'd go bust selling booze to the Paddies )..... I look forward to receiving my sporran of honour....

I guess the SAS guys will stay in the SAS but will (hopefully) be reluctant to take part in any subversive actions against their country of birth pre-referendum (and afterward).

..wouldn't count on it...the real-life action-man toys for under-endowed politicians who've read too much Freddie Forsyth cobblers....

there's probably a joke in what Salmond's version of the SAS'd be...Scottish........blrrrrh.......Service

....oh sod it its too bloody late to engage the humour synapses.....I'll edit if I think of something within 24 hours


..Ok...Salmond's Arse-protection Service.....that'll have to do...

....signing-off....

[AhabsOtherLeg]

I guess the SAS guys will stay in the SAS but will (hopefully) be reluctant to take part in any subversive actions against their country of birth pre-referendum (and afterward).

..wouldn't count on it...

Sadly, I am counting on the exact opposite. Who knows, though? Maybe they really do want rid of us this time. Alan Cochrane in The Telegraph (not exactly my favourite author, hehe) speculated that this might be the case - you quoted his article about the elite having possibly abandoned the idea of the Union on the Loch Ness Monster thread down in the sub-forums - and Peter Cruddas said the same thing in the secret tapes taken by the Sunday Times.

In the latest release of tapes, which were recorded by reporters posing as potential donors, Mr Cruddas seems to be suggesting arguing for the union would put the [Tory] party in a stronger negotiating position after the referendum.

He said: "We, as a party, have to be seen to be fighting to keep the Union together.

"Even if we don't agree with it, because at the end of it all, if the Scots say we're out of here and they want to go independent, we can turn around and say it's not what we wanted, it's not what we campaigned for, you can't have this, you can't have that, and you can get on with it."

In the video, Mr Cruddas also appears to describe First Minister Alex Salmond as "the mad Scotsman".

Ms Sturgeon said: "This is another bombshell for the Scottish Tories who are isolated and irrelevant in the games being played by their London bosses.

"It shows that senior Tories in London are cynically faking their opposition to independence to position themselves for a post independence deal.

"The Cruddas revelations show that they believe in nothing except protecting Westminster interests."
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-s ... s-17574289

Have to give the BBC credit for actually mentioning this. They usually duck out of mentioning many other things in direct relation to it.

The BBC are biased towards support for the Union. It makes sense - they stand to lose a massive amount per year in license fee money.

But what's this kind of thing all about?



It ran as a ticker-tape under Cameron's speech in defence of the Union in Edinburgh. Obviously it was meant to say "precious" rather than "previous" but it's quite a blunder even for a body as historically incompetent as the BBC.

Cameron's speech was half-decent though. He was quite conciliatory and nice and kind and all that, and even had a few good jokes about being "not exactly popular here." He readily conceded (after decades of Unionist scaremongering to the contrary) that we could go it alone quite comfortably, but would lose our place in NATO, the G7, the G8, the G20, etc. which is fair enough. But he didn't actually make any arguments in favour of the Union. It's becoming increasingly clear that there are none to make. Not rational ones, anyway. If there were any I would've heard them by now.

I did like Stephen's one, though, earlier in the thread:

Scotland does have one redeeming feature, being large and largely empty it is the perfect place to dump radioactive waste.

Sign me up for that!

[Stephen Morgan]

The BBC are biased towards support for the Union. It makes sense - they stand to lose a massive amount per year in license fee money.

Do feel free to take Kirsty Wark back. Apart from that, what gets the beeb from Scotland? Less than a tenth of its licence revenue. A load of colonialists. A unit specialising in Gaelic pronunciation. Good riddance! If it was Wales taking Doctor Who they might have something to worry about, but it's not. Scotland is a big drain into which money is pissed away. The BBC will flourish from losing the highly-paid Scots deadweight, if any can be tempted back to their homeland (which is about as likely as Sean Connery moving back - patriotism being a dish best served at a considerable distance).

[AhabsOtherLeg]

Apart from that, what gets the beeb from Scotland? Less than a tenth of its licence revenue. A load of colonialists. A unit specialising in Gaelic pronunciation. Good riddance!

Ah, Stephen... will you ever be right? The BBC license fee take from Scotland is £300 million per year. The total budget of BBC Scotland (including BBC Alba, the Gaelic bit) is only £120 million per year. So they currently raise £180 million more from us than they spend here each year, and they are still looking to increase this "profit margin."

Culture Secretary Fiona Hyslop is to meet BBC Scotland Director Ken MacQuarrie to raise concerns about the BBC's proposed budget cuts.

BBC Scotland will lose up to 120 posts in a 16% fall in its budget by 2017.

According to Ms Hyslop, the cuts will result in BBC Scotland's budget being less than a third of the money raised from Scottish licence fee payers.

Mr MacQuarrie has said tough decisions had to be made in the light of the freeze to the licence fee.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-s ... s-15228346

As reported by... the BBC.

They don't usually report this kind of thing, though. They ARE biased toward the Unionist side, and blatantly against both independence and the SNP on purely political grounds (in direct violation of their charter as a public service broadcaster). It's a simple fact.

Here is a (boring, but instructive) training video from the BBC College of Journalism, one of a series that were released, in which their senior political editors (including Andrew Neil and Nick Robinson) instruct young recruits to BBC Scotland on how to "counter" the SNP, and also give them some "lines of attack" on Alex Salmond. This is not just political, but party-political. The BBC is a creature of the Union, but BBC Scotland in particular is a creature of New Labour, as is Kirsty Wark.



Shortly before the SNP's victory in 2011, the BBC closed down the comments functions on their political and business blogs in Scotland, and have never re-opened them. This means that people in Scotland can comment on Nick Robinson's London-centric business and politics blogs, or on Andrew Neil's Westminster shite, or indeed on the politics of Northern Ireland or Wales if they feel like it - but neither I nor anyone else is allowed to comment at all on anything to do with the independence debate in Scotland, where the vote will actually be held. The BBC won't let us talk about it. Why is this? You tell me.



This BBC-produced show had the balls to mention it explicitly - so maybe they aren't biased at all? - but then it got cancelled in the cuts. Hooray!

The BBC is in violation of it's own charter, and should be hit squarely in the license fee. Something like the old Poll Tax protests (mass non-payment, I mean, not rioting) would be good fun and effective, and would save us some money too.
.

[semper occultus]

....guess you saw this one.....assuming you haven't been going too heavy on the Tactical Nuclear Penguin .....

David beats goliath as brewdog forces Diageo apology

Thursday 10 May 2012

Sarah Smith Business Correspondent
www.channel4.com

.Independent brewers Brewdog turns a set-back into a PR triumph after the their rival - the giant drinks group Diageo - apologises for trying to stop them winning an award.

Small independent Scottish brewer Brewdog was looking forward to a little PR boost this week when they expected to win 'bar operator of the year' at the British institute of Innkeeping awards. They had every right to be confident - their name was already engraved on the trophy.

So how come they left the ceremony empty handed? And how did NOT winning turn into PR triumph?

At the last minute the award ceremonies organisers were apparently told by the event sponsors Diageo that "under no circumstances" were Brewdog to win the award. It was offered to another bar instead but they refused to accept it.

It can’t have been long after that Diageo began to realise that they had made a serious mistake.

They might own Smirnoff, Guinness and Johnny Walker but they are no match for the Scottish boys who invaded North London in an armoured tank when they opened their first bar in England - a bar which doesn’t sell any Diageo products.

Using the hashtag #AndTheWinnerIsNot, Brewdog fans took to Twitter and made sure the story quickly exploded.

Monty Munford tweeted "Drinks giant Diageo in stunningly stupid effort to step on the (brilliant) Brewdog.

Rich said "Diageo produce bitter -and not just drink"

Once the row started trending Diageo were forced to issue an apology: A Diageo spokesman said there was "a serious misjudgement" by staff at the awards dinner. He added: "We would like to apologise unreservedly to BrewDog and to the British Institute of Innkeeping for this error of judgment."

by the end of Thursday, Brewdog itself was tweeting "We need a drink."

This brew-ha-ha became a live issue because Diageo had picked on the wrong guys. Their website declares "We are proud to be an intrepid David in an ocean of insipid Goliaths".

Brewdog have made their name with innovative and controversial marketing ploys. These are the people who sell Tactical Nuclear Penguin beer which, at 32 per cent proof, claims to be "The worlds strongest beer, ever (yes ever)". And they are the people who sold their End of History beer inside dead squirrels and stoats provoking a worldwide reaction.

And now they are the people who took on one the drinks industry giants and won. Priceless good publicity for the under-dog

http://www.brewdog.com/blog-article/diageo-v-brewdog

The 2012 BII Scotland Annual Awards: Celebrating success in the license trade in Scotland. BII are an organisation (www.bii.org) whose mission is to raise standards in licensed retail. The awards on Sunday 6th May were a huge glitzy affair held at the Grand Central Hotel in Glasgow.




Kerry, Mark, Neil S and Neil T attended the award ceremony. We had heard that BrewDog were expected to do quite well in the ‘Bar Operator of the Year’ category and the members of the bar team were suitable excited to see if our hard work would be recognised by this most prestigious and illustrious award.

However we were not announced as winners of the award. This disappointment was further compounded when one of the judges (seated at our table) told us in disbelief ‘this simply cannot be, the independent judging panel voted for BrewDog as clear winners of the award’.

Events took a further twist when the people who got given the award refused to accept it as it clearly had ‘BrewDog’ engraved on the trophy as winners.

On Tuesday, 2 days after the award, I (James) took a phone call from Kenny Mitchell, Chairman of the BII in Scotland and Chairman of the Award Committee explaining the situation. To directly quote Kenny:

‘We are all ashamed and embarrassed about what happened. The awards have to be an independent process and BrewDog were the clear winner’

‘Diageo (the main sponsor) approached us at the start of the meal and said under no circumstances could the award be given to BrewDog. They said if this happened they would pull their sponsorship from all future BII events and their representatives would not present any of the awards on the evening.’

We were as gobsmacked as you by Diageo’s behaviour. We made the wrong decision under extreme pressure. We should have stuck to our guns and gave the award to BrewDog.‘
We would like to thank Kenny Mitchell and the BII for their refreshing honesty here and for initially giving the award to BrewDog before their overbearing and blackmailing sponsor undermined the independent judging process completely by bullying them at the last minute to deny BrewDog of an award they rightfully won.



Update 16.30 on 9/5/12: Diageo have admitted guilt have now issued the following statement:

'There was a serious misjudgement by Diageo staff at the awards dinner on Sunday evening in relation to the Bar Operator of the Year Award. We would like to apologise to BrewDog and to the British Institute of Innkeeping for this error of judgement.'

As for Diageo, once you cut through the glam veneer of pseudo corporate responsibility this incident shows them to be a band of dishonest hammerheads and dumb ass corporate freaks. No soul and no morals, with the integrity of a rabid dog and the style of a wart hog.

Perhaps more tellingly it is an unwitting microcosm for just how the beer industry is changing and just how scared and jealous the gimp-like establishment are of the craft beer revolutionaries.

We would advise them to drink some craft beer. To taste the hops and live the dream. It is hard to be a judas goat when you are drinking a Punk IPA.

Walk tall, kick ass and learn to speak craft beer.

[Joe Hillshoist]

It was all over the news here that Charles, the guy who'll never be king, ... wait for it ... Read the weather in Scotland on TV!!!! BBC Scotland apparently.

It was in response to this thread wasn't it.

[AhabsOtherLeg]

Aye, he's worried Joe. He saw what my thread about Liam Fox did to his career... now he fears I will do the same to him, and smash the United Kingdom and the monarchy just because I'm butthurt over the license fee.

I saw the thing about Brewdog the other day Semper. What a bunch of twunts Diageo have made of themselves - they were already unpopular over closing the Johnnie Walker Red factory in Kilmarnock, which had been in operation since 1820, at the loss of 700 jobs: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-g ... t-17486173. Now they try to rig an awards show. They'd even left Brewdog's name visibly carved on the award itself!

"Walk tall, kick ass and learn to speak craft beer" is a horrible sign-off on the part of Brewdog, though. I mean, really?

[American Dream]

http://sonsofmalcolm.blogspot.com/2012/ ... nding.html

Sunday, 13 May 2012
GEORGE GALLOWAY THINKING OF STANDING AGAINST SCOTTISH INDEPENDENCE & SCOTTISH NATIONALIST LEADERSHIP

g
Galloway should be standing shoulder to shoulder with Salmond against british imperialism


A WORRYING DEVELOPMENT
Anti-imperialists should not take colonial unionist positions on Scotland

George Galloway MP is one of the most important anti-imperialist politicians in the west. Respect's Bradford West victory and another 5 local councillors in Braddie was all very important in contributing to an anti-imperialist direction in england (says as much about the weakness of us too). But taking on the Scottish Independence movement, which is defacto under the umbrella of the SNP and their brilliant leader Alex Salmond, is a v dangerous move.

Not only cos it is a reactionary neo-colonialist unionist position (support for independence of the Celtic nations of Wales, Cornwall, Ireland and Scotland are fundamentals for anti-imperialists in england imo), but if George's 3.3% standing in Glasgow at a recent election for the Scottish Parliament is anything to go by, he will be drubbed by the Scottish people. And this is a situation that no progressive, anti-imperialist or socialist on these islands should be confronted with.

Scottish Labour making political deals with the tiny Scottish tories is another mistake by association that George will be walking into.

[There is nothing progressive or advantageous for George out of such a move. We in england need to step-up our anti-imperialist struggle, if we cant and dont seem to be achieving this very well then this is still no reason for taking brit colonialist positions in relation to the oppressed nations of this colonial union as Galloway seems to be doing when he says: "I think the break-up of Scotland from England after 300 years would be a mistake for Scotland and it would doom the English working people to permanent Tory rule.

size=110]“There are 59 Scottish seats at Westminster, all but one of them anti-Tory. If you take them out of Parliament, the Tories would be almost impossible to beat in England.

“That would be bad for working people in England, but it would also be bad for Scotland because a low-tax, low-spend, right-wing Tory England would lead to business and industry relocating to England from Scotland.”.[/size] (source)



Finally, there's nothing to assume that in a debate with Salmond that Galloway would come out on top. I dont want either to go against each other, but it would be a political battle I would reluctantly love to see, and sorry to say, but in *THIS* political case I would solidly support Salmond, but within England, I solidly support Respect and Galloway wherever they are challenging white supremacy (racism) and imperialism. As a friend said to me when I put these comments on my facebook: "I completely agree with the comment, I would not like to see Galloway vs Salmond, I would like to see them standing up shoulder to shoulder in solidarity against imperialism".

Thanks Brother Adam O'Connell for the heads up, and a good discussion on Adam's wall on this.

Sukant Chandan, Sons of Malcolm


PS: There's good comment on the issue of Scottish Independence and all issues anti-imperialist by a good Brother of mine, and Scottish Republican Socialist and socialist internationalist blogger at Not-A-Dinner-Party.

[AhabsOtherLeg]

Sunday, 13 May 2012
GEORGE GALLOWAY THINKING OF STANDING AGAINST SCOTTISH INDEPENDENCE & SCOTTISH NATIONALIST LEADERSHIP

George is going to have some serious problems, the least of them being me. It took me five minutes to knock this together, compiled from his radio phone-ins on TalkSport.



He has said worse about Scotland in the past, and much of it had an equal amount of inacurracy, and it is all on record as he should well know. Salmond would eat him alive in debate. His arguments for the Union have been carbon-dated, and were found to originate in 1977 from the Labour government in London.

Galloway is well-equipped for most arguments, but not this one. His position on Scottish independence rests in a massive, bustling, and well-explored bed of hypocrisy.

- Galloway used to chain himself to the railings at Faslane Nuclear base, alongside Tommy Sheridan, in protest against the nuclear weapons stored there. He was on TV weekly for these actions. But the only way to get those weapons out of Scotland (and the UK) once and for all is for Scotland to become indepependent under an SNP government, and he knows this.

- The UK cannot become socialist. It just can't, in the same way that it can't give up trying to be an imperial power however feeble and limited it's strength. It is a constitutional monarchy with a large proportion of it's second chamber remaining unelected, having been either automatically promoted into the second chamber through right of birth or placed there simply through senior membership in the Church of England. That is not only un-socialist, it is inherently undemocratic.

- Like his arch-enemy John Reid, Galloway is (or has been for much of his life) a committed Nationalist and a Republican in the Northern Irish context. To believe that Irish Nationalism was and is is a worthy cause, but Scottish Nationalism is a disgusting pathology, has always been a particular failing among Scottish Labour MPs (who might have a chance at sitting in the House of Lords down in London one day, though George would have to be an uber-optimist to think he has a chance at that).

The truth is that some MPs believe in the right of peoples to self-determination unless most of those people have been known to vote Labour in UK General Elections for fifty-odd years.

His biggest failing is that he still wishes he was a Labour MP. Despite everything.

[AhabsOtherLeg]

Sons of Malcolm... excellent! I had not expected support from Third-Worldists on this issue, since the argument for independence often becomes mired in economic cost/benefit analyses between first-world nations about who has the most oil and gas and who pays for who's unemployed, or else it degrades into fights between relatively rich people over who is the most rich, and I am as guilty on that front as anyone else.

They have seen the bigger picture though. So have I. The United Kingdom is like an ageing, fat, and lazy serial murderer staggering around after one blood-feast too many. It is a state saying: "Please stop me before I kill more!"

What socialists of all types should bear in mind on this issue is the clear potential here to weaken or even entirely nullify one of the world's oldest and most entrenched power structures, an edifice almost entirely based on class advantage and inherited privillege, an overarching system which is still less meritocratic than Napoleon's France. I have mentioned before the potential geoplitical ramifications of an independent Scotland. It matters. A large part of the now-UK could concievably come under a (vaguely, but appreciably) left-wing and (explicitly and commitedly) anti-nuclear and anti-war government: - this would be a significant step, a real change on the world scale, and (sadly) it is a change that is completely impossible under the current UK political setup. You know this as well as me.

- The remaining UK could lose it's UN Security Council seat, where it has always supported American aggressions - Brazil and India are aleady jockeying to take that place, and in my view are welcome to it, and might (just possibly) make better use of it.

- The UK's nuclear deterrent would have to be relocated from the present bases in Scotland, where the warheads are stored and the subs are moored, to go... elsewhere. There is no suitable facility for them to relocate in England, Wales, or Northern Ireland, so, in this age of austerity, the possibility of full and unilateral nuclear disarmament by the UK Government becomes possible - perhaps inevitable. The entire cost of Trident is currently counted as Scottish expenditure by the Treasury as well, which totally pisses me off.

- The SNP might well stay out of NATO, weakening that organisation's grasp on the GIUK gap, depriving it of the advanced radar station at St. Kilda, and the underwater detection arrays extending outward from Scotland's coastline (barring negotiation with the UK government on these matters, of course). Russia will be very interested in this, no doubt, but that's nothing to be happy about, because the Russian government and elite are worse than ours, or at least equally as bad. We have to stay wary of their interests.

- The remaining UK will have to become more equal, more democratic, more accountable to it's electorate and it's people. It will simply have to. It won't be able to afford not to, by the time the separation is taking place. The sheer scale of the national debt and deficit, the (ironically very expensive due to Liam Fox) denuding of the defence forces, and the "loss" of the only tangible assets that currently underpin the UK's fraudulent economy and standard of living (North Sea oil and gas, and Scotland's excess production of electricity) will lead to increased demands for electoral reform in the remaining UK, unquestionable calls for an English Parliament, and the abolition of the monarchy, House of Lords, and the aristocracy at long fucking last.

Gentlemen, I'm drunk. But I believe. And here's hoping!

Salmond is no real socialist, though. Neither am I, come to think of it. But that's incidental.

[MacCruiskeen]

Thanks for this thread, Ahab.



I feel nostalgic, if not patriotic. (I'm not joking.)

[AhabsOtherLeg]

Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel, Mac, so it's best avoided.

Nations are just armed robberies that have gone unpunished long enough to be counted as pro forma legal entities.

I will be very relieved when I can stop being a Nationalist, which will happen as soon as full independence is achieved.

I often feel like a big massive fanny because of being a Nationalist now, because it is inherently dumb, in and of itself. But it is necessary, for the time being - just like it is necessary to support Alex Salmond for the time being, even though he has a worryingly persistent belief in the Laffer Curve and wants to lower corporation tax. He won't rule an independent Scotland in perpetuity. No one will. We will choose them ourselves. A clear difference there.

Also, that lass is hot. But I'd have that purse off her waist in a second, me being an alcoholic junkie who is inherently incapable of self-government and all.

Eh, mate? Eh?!

[MacCruiskeen]

I often feel like a big massive fanny

Well, Ahab, when I finally succumb to my people's desperate pleas ("Will ye no' come back again?"), I shall adopt that as the motto on my new coat-of-arms. (Translated into Latin, of course. Or, even better, Gaelic, so I can be absolutely sure nobody understands it.)

Is dóigh liom go minic mar a bheadh ​​fhaighin mór ollmhór.