by Wombaticus Rex » Tue Nov 06, 2012 9:51 pm
No shocker that Bernie Sanders cleared house -- this was a race so one-sided that I literally only registered the name of his GOP competitor today. Our good-for-nothing Governor won, but Vermont has a long proud history of "nothing" so I've got no real beef with Shumlin...plus, holy shit, his challenger was challenged. Ran a truly, generously hilarious campaign. No joke: his "big idea" was that unemployed Vermonters should buy a "Business in a Box." He could not answer questions at press conferences about how unemployed people would afford franchises, especially since he was running as a "no handouts, less government" conservative. He could not answer questions about what kind of "businesses" are exactly in high demand in rural, piss poor Vermont -- although I certainly could: marijuana, heroin and methamphetamine, DUH!
The closest race tonight is the most important, and the one I'm most ambivalent about: Auditor. The Dem candidate, Hoffer, is perfect for the job: hates people and loves numbers. On the other hand, Illuzzi, his challenger, is a slimy piece of shit, but see, he's our slimy piece of shit: he's been carving huge slices of pork for the Northeast Kingdom for decades. It would be good to have him plugged back into the power structure, but he would, of course, ruin the office itself. So I wait, enraptured by the suspense, calmed by the knowledge it amounts to the same pile of nothing.
Looking forward forward to the next election cycle, I promise to be very entertaining.