rigorousintuition.ca

Jagger/Richards' will always be the better lyrics, of course, but after XX years I'm sick of them, so here's my new version.

(RI only - Please do not distribute, I may revise & want to add hyperlinks.)

Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
Robber baron of yesteryear, turned philanthropist for today
I was round when MLK had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Hoover washed his hands and sealed his fate
Pleased to meet you - Of course you know my Brand
'S on ev'ry billboard and little screen across the Land

I built Manhattan in New Mexico
When I saw em cee squared equals E
Dropped two bombs on the Japanese
And the Cold War came to me
I flew two planes into New York's towers
Cos I needed a war in the next two hours!
Pleased to greet you - Everyone knows my Name
Since you were young I've taught you - being Fake is the Game

Let's watch TV with Kardashians -
While the poison kills all the oceans ("o-shee-uns")
'M still telling you Oswald killed Kenne-day
When you all know - it was the C - I - A
Let me please reproduce myself - I'm creator of wealth and taste
As I lay claim to own the seeds - Of the starving people in Bombay
Pleased to EAT you - 4000 calories a day
Keep the dollars flowing - Cos you know you - Gotta Pay to Play

Just as ev'ry cop is a Zimmerman
And the Trayvons are fair game
As the markets crash - Just call me American
I know nothing of restraint
So if you meet me in your country
I'm sure a good deal can be made
Use all your well-learned politic
Or I'll lay your land to waste!

Puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-baboomboom,
Puh-puh-puh-puh-puh-baboomboom,
etc.

Bravo! from one raised on Mad magazine. And Kardashians-Oh-shee-uns is pretty as a speckled pup.

IanEye, that is fucking great. (I was so afraid when I saw it that it would be the same idea as mine!)

Thanks norton ash! I'm a MAD child myself. Of course. And my best friend from high school has been writing for MAD for decades.

the U.S. seems to resemble some Iron Curtain nightmare more and more each day.
we didn't know how good we had it back during the Cold War, in the days when James Brown would sing and dance before an exhibition bout between Apollo Creed & Ivan Drago.

Most excellent, Jack!

Another William Gaines-influenced person here. I was a dumb farm hick kid, but my great-grandmother (born in 1891!) bought me a subscription to MAD every year for my birthday, beginning when I turned 9. Far better education than any history or civics class!

NeonLX » Thu Sep 19, 2013 1:06 pm wrote:Far better education than any history or civics class!

A sad truth, if you think about it.

Thanks NeonLX.

Oh jees, I have not laughed so well in months, thanks Jack.

Mick ain't got nuttin on you.

Sounder, don't encourage my self-love. I actually do like my own version better, but it would be impossible except as a detournment of a deserving and probably immortal classic. (I've done a few of these, like for Back in the USSR, and wonder if I should find someone to put together videos?!)

It always did bother me that the worst things Jagger/Richards could think of were the Russian Revolution and killing some imperialists on their way to Bombay. But they have always leaned a bit royalist, no? Is he Sir Mick yet?

I didn't read it as parody but as refresh.

Robber baron of yesteryear, turned philanthropist for today

Sublime.

Loved it, although IMO the Ka*******ns are unworthy of being called out by name.

Joao, thanks! And that line is a direct reference to this:

STUDY: Kardashians Get 40 Times More News Coverage Than Ocean Acidification
http://mediamatters.org/blog/2012/06/27 ... era/186703

One poem deserves another. To the tune of nothing in particular. Caution to the easily offended.

Circa 2008: When the Bush Administration was housekeeping for the incoming 3rd Bush term (for the sake of the non-sub rosa narrative components of the BHO Admin, tying up loose ends like finding a fall guy for the Anthrax Attacks, getting rid of Michael Connell in a plane crash, ending Tim Russert's useful but too-covert-aware services, et al):


The Ballad of Tim Russert's Underworld Adventure



Eyes sewn shut, embalmed & dressed,
Just like each broadcast at his best,
Rigor mortis, Insect mess,
Remove your hat out of respect



Tim's screaming now, no one can see.
No more new Plamegate testimony.
Dead men tell no tales, Timmy.
No book deals now, no more money.



Tim's crackling on a rotisserie
To the solemn applause of "Ghost Detainees"
Your future free of rest and peace
Worms in your brain a sweet release



Your wife, kids, childhood memory,
No don't look back Tim, you might see
across miles of dead Iraqi meat.
See what your whole life meant, really



Tim served Cheney and 9/11,
Tim served Tim, a loyal pawn
There's no escape now, your spin is spun:
What Tim's life could have been is gone



Over and over Tim will see
images eternally
ride your childhood bike Timmy
into the land of nightmares sweet

could change the video for that if you like
maybe put it over a montage of Standard American Excess or whathaveyou
conceivably even add vocals if someone wanted to voice the track.

___
a big part of this is the intro yelps and drums from sympathy....

“The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. …We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of. This is a logical result of the way in which our democratic society is organized. Vast numbers of human beings must cooperate in this manner if they are to live together as a smoothly functioning society. …In almost every act of our daily lives, whether in the sphere of politics or business, in our social conduct or our ethical thinking, we are dominated by the relatively small number of persons…who understand the mental processes and social patterns of the masses. It is they who pull the wires which control the public mind.”
- Edward Bernays

Back to Jack’s draft.

You’ve got rhymes! You’ve got rhythms!
A good one!