Stories that should come from The Onion but don't

[norton ash]

82, this one totally smells. Or am I missing the irony?

[DrEvil]

^^It's actually true. Apparently consumer advocates have been warning about these doodads for years, and several have exploded and injured people.

[seemslikeadream]

Dustin Hoffman And Son Suing Paul Manafort's Son-In-Law Over Possible Real Estate Ponzi Scheme
http://laist.com/2017/03/31/hoffmans_ma ... hp#photo-1

.........reminds me of this scene in All the President's Men, "I'm going to count to ten!"


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvKBHCBBdf0

[stillrobertpaulsen]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
That would be totally surreal if Hoffman was called to testify in court against him!

[82_28]

I should have included an addendum disavowing me of being happy about it or finding it remotely funny. I had just recently watched something about making it yourself. Sorry.

[seemslikeadream]

Pentagon's nuke-proof 'Doomsday' planes damaged by tornado

http://www.msn.com/en-ca/news/world/pen ... spartanntp

[seemslikeadream]

A picture of Afghan women in miniskirts helped convince Trump to send more troops

National security adviser H.R. McMaster showed Donald Trump a 1972 picture of college students in Kabul wearing miniskirts to help persuade him that America’s longest war could finally be won.


https://thinkprogress.org/afghan-women- ... 727ed1538/

[seemslikeadream]

Facebook is temporarily removing the ad targeting option that let marketers reach ‘Jew haters’
https://www.recode.net/2017/9/15/163117 ... zuckerberg

[Cordelia]

Heard about this on a radio game show yesterday......

Boys are better at physics because they learn about 'projection' while going to the toilet, researchers say

Camilla Turner, Education Editor

15 September 2017

Boys are better at Physics because they learn about “projection” while going to the toilet, researchers have claimed.

From a young age, boys are taught about how to aim accurately so that they do not make a mess in the bathroom, and this gives them a better understanding of “projectile motion”, according to three academics.

Writing for Times Education Supplement (TES), Anna Wilson of Abertay University along with Kate Wilson and David Low of the University of New South Wales Canberra, explained their theory.

“Playful urination practices – from seeing how high you can pee to games such as Peeball (where men compete using their urine to destroy a ball placed in a urinal) – may give boys an advantage over girls when it comes to physics,” the academics wrote.

The researchers said they have examined gender differences in achievement on physics tests, and found that girls generally perform worse than boys, but with a more marked gap in specific topic areas.

“In particular, the largest gaps in performance between girls and boys arise in questions that involve projectile motion – things that have been thrown, kicked, fired, etc,” they said.

“On some projectile questions, we’ve seen only around one-third of girls answer correctly, compared to two-thirds of boys. This isn’t a trivial gap in performance, particularly when a diagnostic test may contain several questions on projectiles.”

They said this is significant, since the physics curriculum often uses projectile motion as the starting point for more sophisticated mechanics concepts such as force, energy and momentum.

“This is even done because it is assumed to be more familiar, and hence easier to relate to,” they said.

The researchers concluded that there is “no simple way” to provide girls with the same opportunities for exploring projectile motion that boys have.

They suggested instead that the school physics syllabus could be structured in a different way, so that it does not begin with projectile motion.

“Other topics, such as energy conservation, which is more central to physics, could be taught first instead,” they said.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/20 ... searchers/

(Gives new meaning to ‘stream of consciousness’ or of the collective unconscious or something.)

[stillrobertpaulsen]

Sex Robot Molested At Electronics Festival, Creators Say
“Because they did not understand the technology and did not have to pay for it, they treated the doll like barbarians.”
By David Moye

This is why we can’t have nice things.

The man behind an “intelligent” sex robot named “Samantha” says the kinky creation needs to be repaired thanks to “barbarians” at a tech industry festival.

Engineer Sergi Santos, of Barcelona, Spain, wanted to show off Samantha at the Arts Electronica Festival in Linz, Austria, last week.

The randy robot is programmed with artificial intelligence so that she responds to gentle seduction. Samantha seemingly gets more aroused the more she’s “romanced.”

That didn’t happen at the festival. Instead, “Samantha” was molested and seriously damaged by attendees.

“The people mounted Samantha’s breasts, her legs and arms. Two fingers were broken. She was heavily soiled,” he said, according to Britain’s Metro news site. ”People can be bad. Because they did not understand the technology and did not have to pay for it, they treated the doll like barbarians.”

Even though Samantha’s breasts and some other body parts were badly damaged by the sex-crazed Austrian horde, the AI software in the robot still worked perfectly. When Santos asked the doll, “How are you?” it responded, “Hi, I’m fine,” according to Daily Star.

That gave the inventor cause for hope. “Samantha can endure a lot, she will pull through,” he said, according to the British tabloid.

Arran Lee Squire, a British engineer who helped Santos develop “Samantha,” told the Daily Post he believes the robot should be treated like a lady.

“I think people have just become over-excited and treated her like a sex doll. She isn’t a sex doll, she is a robot with AI,” he said.

Santos shipped Samantha in a box back to Barcelona for repairs. The Daily Star reports he has sold 15 versions of her at about $4,000 a pop.

[MacCruiskeen]

Shades of the Sokal Affair, shurely? Nope, it's for real.

Phrases like 'male' and 'female' could be banned in Australian schools

Yahoo7 News / 12:45pm AEDT

A call to change school sex education to omit gendered references and make lessons more inclusive for transgender students has sparked debate across the country

Rather than gendered references to reproductive anatomy with words like penis, vagina, sperm, and ovaries, gender-neutral terms to identify these organs could be used, an Australian university study suggests.

“Educators and sexuality education programs must… develop ways of talking about bodies and intimacy that shift attention away from the normative association of particular genders with particular anatomies,” the paper published in the Journal of Sex Education, claims.

“The language of sperm and eggs can produce dysphoria for some young transgender people,” Damien Riggs and Clare Bartholomaeus of Flinders University in South Australia wrote in the report.

[...]

https://au.news.yahoo.com/sa/a/37323662 ... -ed-calls/

The language of Riggs and Bartholomaus can produce dysphoria for some post-young "cis"gender people.

[smoking since 1879]

Phrases like 'male' and 'female' could be banned in Australian schools

Yahoo7 News / 12:45pm AEDT

A call to change school sex education to omit gendered references and make lessons more inclusive for transgender students has sparked debate across the country

Rather than gendered references to reproductive anatomy with words like penis, vagina, sperm, and ovaries, gender-neutral terms to identify these organs could be used, an Australian university study suggests.

“Educators and sexuality education programs must… develop ways of talking about bodies and intimacy that shift attention away from the normative association of particular genders with particular anatomies,” the paper published in the Journal of Sex Education, claims.

“The language of sperm and eggs can produce dysphoria for some young transgender people,” Damien Riggs and Clare Bartholomaeus of Flinders University in South Australia wrote in the report.

[...]

https://au.news.yahoo.com/sa/a/37323662 ... -ed-calls/

must be something in the water.

[MacCruiskeen]

must be something in the water.

Nah, it's something in the social media (and the mass media). Emotional contagion. The Werther effect.

9/11 established the precedent that noticing reality is unspeakably offensive in itself. People who were born after that catastrophic* event are now children or adolescents, at school, and subject to the strongest peer pressures -- and positively encouraged by their elders to believe whatever bullshit makes them feel best momentarily secure in themselves, however dire the consequences for their development and long-term health & welfare.

*Catastrophic not just in the obvious ways -- as an act of mass murder and a permanent casus belli -- but also catastrophic for language, catastrophic for reason, and catastrophic for politics and ethics. The era of post-reality has produced an epidemic of moral cowardice, which is good for nothing except business, which is all that matters.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraordi ... _of_Crowds

[82_28]

Trump tosses paper towels into Puerto Rico crowd

Washington (CNN)While surveying the damage in Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria, President Donald Trump visited with survivors and helped distribute supplies -- at one point throwing paper towels into the crowd.
Upon entering a multipurpose room at the Calvary Chapel in the Guaynabo neighborhood of the island, Trump was met with cheers and supportive signs welcoming his presence.
The President began to pick up cans of chicken to show to the crowd and then handed one man a pack of batteries. Next, he held up a flashlight and showed it off while shaking hands with the Puerto Rico residents there to obtain provisions.
"There's a lot of love in this room," Trump said while giving out the supplies. "Great people."
Trump continued to raise different items up in the air for the patrons to see while shaking hands and passing out objects, before grabbing rolls of paper towels. Then Trump began to toss rolls of paper towels into the crowd. Several of the rolls were caught by Puerto Rico residents in the room, but a few fell onto the carpeted floor.

There's video of Trump shooting paper towels into the crowd and it does not disappoint pic.twitter.com/KPfJ1AeAqk
— Caleb Ecarma (@calebecarma) October 3, 2017

Trump's trip to Puerto Rico came as frustration on the island mounted with the federal response to the storm as the island remained without power. Residents continue to struggle to get access to food and fuel nearly two weeks after the storm hit.

http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/03/politics/ ... index.html

[smoking since 1879]

must be something in the water.

Nah, it's something in the social media (and the mass media). Emotional contagion. The Werther effect.

9/11 established the precedent that noticing reality is unspeakably offensive in itself. People who were born after that catastrophic* event are now children or adolescents, at school, and subject to the strongest peer pressures -- and positively encouraged by their elders to believe whatever bullshit makes them feel best momentarily secure in themselves, however dire the consequences for their development and long-term health & welfare.

*Catastrophic not just in the obvious ways -- as an act of mass murder and a permanent casus belli -- but also catastrophic for language, catastrophic for reason, and catastrophic for politics and ethics. The era of post-reality has produced an epidemic of moral cowardice, which is good for nothing except business, which is all that matters.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraordi ... _of_Crowds

very well put, i shall be borrowing that

i was actually kinda hinting at this kind of thing:
caution, new scientist in daily mail headline shock!...
https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn7440-gender-bending-chemicals-found-to-feminise-boys/