Stories that should come from The Onion but don't

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Re: Stories that should come from The Onion but don't

Postby Nordic » Thu Oct 15, 2015 6:13 pm

http://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/animal ... oachers-us

Robotic deer help catch poachers in the act

By: Michael d'Estries
October 15, 2015, 11:17 a.m.

Deer illegally targeted by hunters in states like South Carolina, Arizona, Indiana and Ohio have a new ally in the form of a robotic doppelgänger.

So called "robo-deer" are being put to use by state game and fish departments in an increasing effort to catch poachers in the field. While the animatronic ruses have been used for several years now, it's incredibly difficult to tell the new versions from the real thing.

The $1,500-$3,000 models now feature a moving head, tail, ears and even legs. Each decoy can take up to 1,000 shots before it needs to be replaced.
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Re: Stories that should come from The Onion but don't

Postby backtoiam » Thu Oct 15, 2015 6:16 pm

Seen several of these myself full of bullet holes.
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Re: Stories that should come from The Onion but don't

Postby backtoiam » Sun Oct 18, 2015 9:35 pm

:rofl2 :wallhead:


Assault rifle with Bible verse to repel Muslim terrorists unveiled in Apopka

A gun business in Apopka is drawing fire from Muslims.

Spike’s Tactical is marketing an assault rifle it claims was “designed to never be used by Muslim terrorists.” The AR-15 assault rifle is laser-etched on one side with a Knights Templar Long Cross – a symbol of the Christian Crusades to reclaim the Holy Land from Muslims – and Psalm 144:1 on the other side: “Blessed be the Lord my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle.”

Image

The company’s spokesman, former Navy SEAL Ben “Mookie” Thomas said he came up with the idea and believes no devout Muslim would touch such a weapon.

“Off the cuff I said I’d like to have a gun that if a Muslim terrorist picked it up a bolt of lightning would hit and knock him dead,” Thomas said.


Dubbed the “Crusader,” the weapon went on sale Wednesday and received immediate condemnation from the Council on American-Islamic Relations of Florida.

“Is it designed for Christian terrorists?” asked Hasan Shibly, executive director of CAIR-FL, who said out of 205 mass killings so far this year in the U.S. only one involved a Muslim. “We need to have a conversation on gun violence. There has been utter silence from gun manufacturers. It’s time for them to stop trying to make a buck on this.”

This summer, Florida Gun Supply in Inverness north of Tampa drew nationwide publicity after owner Andy Hallinan declared it a “Muslim-free zone” following the July 16 killings of five military recruiters in Chattanogga, Tenn. The killer was identified as Muhammad Youseef Abdulazeez.

Shibly said he would welcome an opportunity to speak with Thomas as CAIR-FL opposes all forms of religious extremism.

“They don’t have to do outlandish things for us to engage them,” Shibly said.

The owners of Spike Tactical did not intend to insult or antagonize Muslims, Thomas said. They believe America and much of the world is threatened by Islamic terrorism and the Crusader is a symbol of shared Christian values and the right to defend themselves, he said. The safety selector that controls the Crusader’s trigger has three settings: Peace, War and God Wills It. The weapon is the latest of more than dozen models sold at gun shops, ranging in cost from $960 to about $3,000.

The company would never produce an AR-15 assault rifle with verses from the Koran for Muslim marksmen, Thomas said. But it makes other special models including an AR-15 for women called “Pure Estrogen.”

“Our goal is not to offend or alienate good people,” said Thomas, referring to the reaction by CAIR-FL. “The difficult issues people have with each other need to be brought to the table. Often these are hurtful and painful but it’s important to be honest.”

Spike’s Tactical was founded in 2001 by Mike and Angela Register as a family-owned business. Originally a hobby, it now has more than 40 employees making enough components for enthusiasts to build about 10,000 custom rifles a year.

“Men like to accessorize their guns more than women like to accessorize their outfits,” said CEO Angela Register.

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/bre ... story.html
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Re: Stories that should come from The Onion but don't

Postby Iamwhomiam » Sun Oct 18, 2015 11:16 pm

“Men like to accessorize their guns more than women like to accessorize their outfits,” said CEO Angela Register


:roll:
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Re: Stories that should come from The Onion but don't

Postby Iamwhomiam » Tue Oct 27, 2015 9:10 pm

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Re: Stories that should come from The Onion but don't

Postby backtoiam » Fri Oct 30, 2015 9:09 pm

When the government issues these types of bulletins to national police departments I wonder what percentage of officers actually fall for this and take it as a serious threat, as opposed to those officers that simply use it as a reason for harassment, and then those that laugh and understand that it is a damn joke...my faith in the human species dwindles daily.

FBI Continues False “War on Cops” – Halloween Style – If You Wear a Mask, You are a Suspect

By William N. Grigg on October 29, 2015


Image


The FBI is helping police nation-wide get into the Halloween spirit by concocting a scary story that is every bit as implausible as the seasonal fare offered on television and movie screens. The Bureau claims that an obscure, previously unknown “anarchist” group supposedly called the National Liberation Militia is planning to use Halloween festivities to ambush police officers.

According to the New York Post, the “extremist group … has proposed a `Halloween Revolt’ that encourages supporters to cause a disturbance to attract police and then viciously attack them… The group has recommended that members wear typical Halloween masks and use weapons such as bricks, bottles, and firearms, according to the release. No details are offered to corroborate the alleged plot or even the existence of the group that is supposedly behind it. As it stands, the FBI’s advisory merely provides police nation-wide with a ready-made “officer safety” rationale for treating ”typical Halloween masks” as an indicator of “suspicious activity.”

The FBI’s tale of the “Halloween Revolt” is a seasonally-adapted version of the apparently deathless “war on police” myth, which is incessantly flogged by police unions and retailed by media outlets like the New York Post and Fox News. In his recent address to the International Association of Chiefs of Police, FBI Director James Comey peddled a related idea – namely, that violent crime is escalating because of police timidity induced by the “Ferguson Effect” (also known as the “YouTube Effect”). Expanding distrust of police has led to “a crisis of violent crime in some of our major cities in this country, and in those cities in some of our more vulnerable neighborhoods.”

“In today’s YouTube world, are officers reluctant to get out of their cars and do the work that controls violent crime?” asked Comey. “Are officers answering 911 calls but avoiding the informal contact that keeps bad guys from standing around, especially with guns?”

Comey’s facile rhetoric didn’t sit well with some members of the Justice Department, who, according to the New York Times, “do not believe that scrutiny of police officers has led to an increase in crime.” Even Comey has grudgingly admitted that the idea of a “Ferguson Effect” isn’t sustained by substantial evidence. The rate of violent crime has been trending downward for decades – as has the rate of on-duty deaths by police officers. But people enjoy a good scary story – especially those whose career prospects benefit from them.

For more than a year, law and order conservatives have been in full-throated, theatrical panic over the purported war on police and widespread defiance and disrespect toward “authority.”

“If you were around in the late 1960s and early 1970s, you know that history is repeating itself,” groused Bill O’Reilly in a representative jeremiad last June. Young people in America “now have a defiance toward authority not seen since the Vietnam days…. The collapse of authority in America will lead to very bad consequences. We are just seeing the beginning of it.”

There is a sense in which O’Reilly is correct that Vietnam-era history is repeating itself: In the late 1960s and early 1970s, police unions, their media courtesans, and authoritarian conservatives in Congress plied the public with terrifying tales about a “War on Police.” No such war occurred then, nor is one underway now. The rhetorical barrage by the “law and order” lobby was an overture to Nixon’s decision to declare “war” on crime – which led to the first wave of outright police militarization.

“Is there a national conspiracy to kill policemen?” asked the October 19, 1970 issue of U.S. News and World Report. “Congress dug into this question in early October. One witness after another told the Senate Internal Security Subcommittee that a pattern of attacks on police indicates a plot.”

Image

Among those who offered testimony was Captain Joel Honey of the Santa Barbara, California Sheriff’s Office. As summarized by U.S. News, Honey “told of confiscating pamphlets giving detailed instructions on manufacture and use of weapons to kill police. He said wires have been strung across California highways to decapitate motorcycle policemen.”

“Police officials keep saying it’s just the hazards of the job, but we should face it for what it is: a conspiracy to kill policemen,” insisted Carl Parsell, director of the Detroit Police Officers Association. Police union commissar Edward Kiernan insisted that shootings of police officers were “part of a cold, logical, hard-eyed revolutionary strategy.”

Fellow police union kingpin John J. Harrington agreed that nothing less than a revolution was underway.

“The thin line between civilization and the jungle – which is us [sic] policemen – is being shot to hell and something has to be done about it,” Harrington harangued the crowd at a Washington police rally. “It’s time the people of this country face up to it – there is a revolution taking place.”

A significant part of that “revolution,” Harrington advised, was rock music, which he characterized as “a Communist plot to destroy our youth.”

By the time Harrington addressed that October 1970 rally, he had been an ex-cop for four years. In 1966, Harrington “marked his 26th anniversary on the force by announcing his retirement to protest U.S. Supreme Court decisions ensuring the rights of individuals suspected of committing crimes,” observed his 1989 obituary in the Philadelphia Daily News.

“I’m fed up – I am disgusted,” exclaimed Harrington. “You can’t do police work anymore.”

Rather than operating within the restraints imposed by the Bill of Rights, Harrington suggested during the FOP’s 1971 national convention, police should be emancipated to act as death squads. “Unless the courts stop this permissiveness … then the feeling of policemen is, maybe we better resort to the old Mexican deguello – a shootout in which we take no prisoners,” Harrington told his exuberantly approving audience.

Significantly, the Spanish verb from which that word is derived – degollar – refers to throat-slitting. Viewed from a contemporary perspective, Mr. Harrington – one of the most prominent and widely respected police union officials of his era – was saying that his troops were ready to behave much the same way that ISIS does today.

The previously mentioned Captain Honey was likewise obsessed with fantasies of decapitation, albeit in his case carried out against the police. Like Harrington, Honey – whose sober testimony before the Senate Subcommittee was dutifully reported in the press and remains part of the official record – yearned for a restoration of pre-modern means of asserting “authority.” This explains why he was photographed brandishing a Spanish-style broadsword and a spiked medieval mace as he commanded riot police and SWAT operators who dealt with a campus upheaval at the University of California-Santa Barbara a few months before his testimony in Washington.

Honey’s lurid claims of a conspiracy to murder police made national headlines. His subsequent firing for official misconduct didn’t receive as much attention.

Sgt. Edward Piceno, who along with his partner was suspended for 10 days for seizing and destroying a reporter’s camera during the riot, later testified that Honey had ordered deputies to “go out there and beat the living hell out of anybody that was away from the crowd, get in our cars and leave.”

Other officers testified that Honey’s unlawful orders included exhortations to commit arson and murder, and instructions on how to cover up those crimes.

“Honey was accused of telling an officer at the riot that `if your people go into a building and kill all of them, have them set fire to the building, because that’s what they did in Watts,'” summarized the January 21, 1972 San Francisco Chronicle. Another officer recalled Honey’s suggestion that he “get some throwaway guns for your people so when you kill one of [the rioters] you can leave a throwaway gun” as evidence to “justify” the killing. He also told the officer to deploy his men “in teams of at least two, to corroborate an alibi if they killed anyone.” (That accusation, interestingly, was itself corroborated by multiple officers.)

Honey was fired in November 1971 for “illegally dropping tear gas on rioters from a helicopter … striking handcuffed prisoners … and telling a subordinate to frame a suspect.” It is possible that the deranged officer would have kept his job had his psychotic demeanor and palpable sadism not made him an operational liability. Police officers from other jurisdictions who had responded to a call for assistance made it clear they wouldn’t do so again if Honey were given on-scene command during future disturbances.

Whether in the early 1970s or today, the actions carried out in the name of “authority” are far scarier than any of the stories used to justify its exercise.

http://thefreethoughtproject.com/fbi-sc ... -war-cops/
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Re: Stories that should come from The Onion but don't

Postby seemslikeadream » Mon Nov 02, 2015 12:37 pm

Mazars and Deutsche Bank could have ended this nightmare before it started.
They could still get him out of office.
But instead, they want mass death.
Don’t forget that.
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Re: Stories that should come from The Onion but don't

Postby Luther Blissett » Mon Nov 02, 2015 2:26 pm

backtoiam » Fri Oct 30, 2015 8:09 pm wrote:When the government issues these types of bulletins to national police departments I wonder what percentage of officers actually fall for this and take it as a serious threat, as opposed to those officers that simply use it as a reason for harassment, and then those that laugh and understand that it is a damn joke...my faith in the human species dwindles daily.

FBI Continues False “War on Cops” – Halloween Style – If You Wear a Mask, You are a Suspect

By William N. Grigg on October 29, 2015

http://thefreethoughtproject.com/fbi-sc ... -war-cops/


Thanks for this, I wanted to bring it up. It was a complete cop fabrication, and I have a gut feeling that any chief sharing it was in on the joke. The cops named the anarchist group the "National Liberation Militia" for goodness sake. There is no such thing, and the name displays a fundamental misunderstanding of anarchism in the first place.

I'm very tickled by the whole thing even though I don't want cops to get any more buzzed up than they already are.

https://photographyisnotacrime.com/2015 ... n-militia/
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Re: Stories that should come from The Onion but don't

Postby backtoiam » Wed Nov 04, 2015 7:36 am

"A mind stretched by a new idea can never return to it's original dimensions." Oliver Wendell Holmes
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Re: Stories that should come from The Onion but don't

Postby norton ash » Fri Nov 06, 2015 11:48 am

^^^ Hey, Dice punks Santa Monica yet again. Run for mayor already, Nordic, your city clearly needs you.

How anime avatars became a warning
http://boingboing.net/2015/11/06/how-an ... a-war.html

NYMag's Max Read considers whether or not it is a good idea to preemptively block anyone you see with an anime avatar, that having become a signifier for a particular type of angry, prolix adolescent.
…for practical purposes, if you are besieged by trolls and are also okay with blocking people who might be extremely intelligent and engaging and also fervent otaku, all you need to know is that the “anime avatar” is a mostly though not entirely reliable indicator of trolldom, and block anyone you see with one. But I would suggest you not.
See also this bit 'o fake news from 2014: Study: Anime Avatar Makes Opinions Up To 90% Less Relevant
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Re: Stories that should come from The Onion but don't

Postby 82_28 » Fri Nov 06, 2015 1:11 pm

norton ash » Fri Nov 06, 2015 7:48 am wrote:^^^ Hey, Dice punks Santa Monica yet again. Run for mayor already, Nordic, your city clearly needs you.

How anime avatars became a warning
http://boingboing.net/2015/11/06/how-an ... a-war.html

NYMag's Max Read considers whether or not it is a good idea to preemptively block anyone you see with an anime avatar, that having become a signifier for a particular type of angry, prolix adolescent.
…for practical purposes, if you are besieged by trolls and are also okay with blocking people who might be extremely intelligent and engaging and also fervent otaku, all you need to know is that the “anime avatar” is a mostly though not entirely reliable indicator of trolldom, and block anyone you see with one. But I would suggest you not.
See also this bit 'o fake news from 2014: Study: Anime Avatar Makes Opinions Up To 90% Less Relevant


You actually should run for mayor, Nordic. Run on your Hollywood creds and your knowledge of the industries that populate West LA. It would at least be fun to see you destroy idjits in the debates.
There is no me. There is no you. There is all. There is no you. There is no me. And that is all. A profound acceptance of an enormous pageantry. A haunting certainty that the unifying principle of this universe is love. -- Propagandhi
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Re: Stories that should come from The Onion but don't

Postby seemslikeadream » Thu Nov 12, 2015 1:47 pm

Mazars and Deutsche Bank could have ended this nightmare before it started.
They could still get him out of office.
But instead, they want mass death.
Don’t forget that.
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Re: Stories that should come from The Onion but don't

Postby Grizzly » Thu Nov 12, 2015 6:47 pm

Supreme Court Weighs Whether The Government Can Freeze A Defendant's Assets
http://www.npr.org/2015/11/10/455509997 ... nts-assets

The Supreme Court heard arguments Tuesday in a case testing whether the government can freeze a defendant's legitimately obtained assets, thus preventing the accused from hiring a lawyer.

Sila Luis, the owner of Miami home health care companies, was indicted on Medicare fraud charges in 2012. She has been detained at her home for two years while her case wended its way to the Supreme Court. She wants to use some of her assets to hire a lawyer for her trial.

The government concedes that some of her financial holdings are not connected to her alleged criminal conduct. But prosecutors contend that Luis has already spent so much of her ill-gotten gains that if she is convicted, she won't be able to pay back the Medicare Trust Fund what she owes unless her untainted assets are there to be tapped.

The Supreme Court has previously ruled that the government may, prior to trial, freeze money and property connected to criminal activity.

This case tests whether it can similarly freeze assets not connected to the alleged crime — for instance, assets like a home, cars, or jewelry acquired prior to the alleged crime.

"What the government proposes to do is financially cripple someone before they've been convicted, before they've had a trial and not allow them to use assets that are theirs to try to match the government in the courtroom," said defense lawyer Howard Srebnick. The asset freeze, he argues, amounts to a denial of the Sixth Amendment right to counsel.

He faced a seemingly skeptical Supreme Court Tuesday, mainly because the justices have ruled before that the government can, prior to trial, freeze assets and money connected to a crime. Srebnick maintained that there is a big difference between tainted money acquired in criminal activity, such as drug deals, and assets acquired prior to the alleged crime, or unconnected to the crime.

Justice Samuel Alito noted, however, that money is fungible, and Justice Elena Kagan observed that although there's a "powerful intuition behind your argument, it's a powerful intuition that was explicitly rejected" by this court in previous cases.

Attorney Srebnick could rightly have concluded that he had no chance of winning by the time he sat down.

The play, however, was not over. And when Deputy Solicitor General Michael Dreeben stepped to the lectern, he faced an increasingly agitated group of justices.

"The principle," Justice Stephen Breyer said, "is that the government, without proving that he's guilty of any crime beyond a reasonable doubt, can take all of his money." The effect of that, Breyer continued, is that a person cannot hire a lawyer, because he or she might later be convicted and fined. "I've never heard of such a principle."

"This is basically a zero-sum game," Dreeben replied. "Either there will be money available at the end of the case for the victims or the money will have been spent on lawyers."

Justice Anthony Kennedy seemed skeptical of the government's position. "It seems to me if the government prevails in this case, every state in the union, every locality could say that in the event of ... any crime involving bodily injury, that the government is entitled to [freeze assets] even if the consequence is that in most of those cases most people would not be able to afford a lawyer."

Chief Justice John Roberts seemed to agree. "This could apply to any law on the books," he said.

When Dreeben argued that one of the court's key cases from 1989 supported the government's position, Justice Kagan countered, "Suppose the court is just uncomfortable with the path we have started down " in that case, "what should we do with that intuition?"

Dreeben rejected the premise of the question, saying the court's prior decisions were correct, and the justices should not deviate from that path.

They didn't look very happy about that prospect. We'll know what they decide later in the term.


From the comments:

End civil asset forfeiture. It's just acting as another incentive for police to turn into a protected criminal class.

----

This is something that both the left and the right should be able to agree upon. Asset forfeiture should be entirely dependent upon conviction and controlled by the right to a speedy trial.

All seized assets should be required by law to be immediately returned when a conviction is not achieved with punitive responsibility for restitution if the assets are harmed, lost, or destroyed.

-----
-----

“The most thoroughly and relentlessly Damned, banned, excluded, condemned, forbidden, ostracized, ignore, suppressed, repressed, robbed, brutalized and defamed of all Damned Things is the
individual human being. The social engineers, statistician, psychologist, sociologists, market researchers, landlords, bureaucrats, captains of industry, bankers, governors, commissars,
kings and presidents are perpetually forcing this Damned Thing into carefully prepared blueprints and perpetually irritated that the Damned Thing will not fit into the slot assigned it. The
theologians call it a sinner and try to reform it. The governor calls it a criminal and tries to punish it. the psychologist calls it a neurotic and tries to cure it. Still, the Damned Thing
will not fit into their slots.”
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Re: Stories that should come from The Onion but don't

Postby norton ash » Thu Nov 12, 2015 7:18 pm

^^^ So lovely to see the feudalist aspects of our legal codes finally getting deployed.
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Re: Stories that should come from The Onion but don't

Postby Nordic » Fri Nov 13, 2015 6:17 am

82_28 » Fri Nov 06, 2015 12:11 pm wrote:
norton ash » Fri Nov 06, 2015 7:48 am wrote:^^^ Hey, Dice punks Santa Monica yet again. Run for mayor already, Nordic, your city clearly needs you.

How anime avatars became a warning
http://boingboing.net/2015/11/06/how-an ... a-war.html

NYMag's Max Read considers whether or not it is a good idea to preemptively block anyone you see with an anime avatar, that having become a signifier for a particular type of angry, prolix adolescent.
…for practical purposes, if you are besieged by trolls and are also okay with blocking people who might be extremely intelligent and engaging and also fervent otaku, all you need to know is that the “anime avatar” is a mostly though not entirely reliable indicator of trolldom, and block anyone you see with one. But I would suggest you not.
See also this bit 'o fake news from 2014: Study: Anime Avatar Makes Opinions Up To 90% Less Relevant


You actually should run for mayor, Nordic. Run on your Hollywood creds and your knowledge of the industries that populate West LA. It would at least be fun to see you destroy idjits in the debates.


Im flattered but the Mayor of Santa Monica only makes about 15k a year. Really. There's someone else I think called the city manager who makes the real money.
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