Girl Scouts Warn Parents Not to Force Hugs on Holidays

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Girl Scouts Warn Parents Not to Force Hugs on Holidays

Postby Karmamatterz » Fri Nov 24, 2017 3:50 pm

Interesting. So now we're coming to this extreme.
http://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/a ... 39653.html

As a parent I fully understand how you don't force a child to do something that is going to make them uncomfortable and potentially damage them emotionally. Hugging is just one of those things you do with your kids ALL THE TIME. A normal healthy family has a lot of hugs being shared, probably daily. If you've got a creepy uncle, aunt, neighbor, cousin etc...you're normally not going to encourage your kids to interact with those people anyhow. Seems to me this is going a bit too far. It's common sense to raise your children in a manner so they know when to engage or not, and read their body language to understand if they are feeling scared.

Suggesting they instead give grandma or grandpa a high five? Holy crap has our culture ever taken a turn for the worse.

I think it's tragic to not encourage human contact, healthy touch and affection.

Still, Dr. Janet Taylor, a psychiatrist with offices in Sarasota and New York City told ABC News, that parents ought not create “a mass hysteria about physical contact with loved ones,” especially during the holiday season, in reaction to the Girls Scouts’ warning.

“As parents, we have to use common sense and also realize that it’s never too early to start a conversation about good touch and bad touch,” Taylor said. “But also we don’t want to overstep our boundaries so our children are not afraid of who they should not be afraid of. The awareness of unwanted contact that we have right now is needed. I just caution parents about limiting family attachment and that kind of loving space that a lot of time only happens at the holidays.”


Nobody owes anybody a hug, kiss etc....but teaching them how to be emotionally healthy is critical to proper development. Scaring kids with the latest trend isn't the right thing to do. I would say the Girl Scouts message is applicable to a small minority of parents who are socially inept and lack any awareness of body language. If the parents already have a creepy family member and they force their kids to hug these people then they sure aren't going to care what the Girl Scouts have to say about it. Common sense, not political correctness is what we need.

Our children should be encouraged to embrace the love of their immediate family in appropriate ways. Hugging is a good thing. Not everyone in the world is waiting to molest or rape them, and advice like this, rather than “setting them up for the rape culture” is actually doing the opposite. You're going to more likely make them distrustful of everyone in their lives, including their own family.

So let's discuss.

The Girl Scouts official warning:
http://www.girlscouts.org/en/raising-gi ... nsent.html
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Re: Girl Scouts Warn Parents Not to Force Hugs on Holidays

Postby wetland » Fri Nov 24, 2017 5:33 pm

This is hardly a case of "So... It has come to this!"

Speaking as a former sensitive small girl child who was pretty friendly and open otherwise, I HATED being exhorted by relatives on my father's side pretty much every Sunday afternoon as far back as I can remember to approximately age seven to "Give [so and so] some sugar!" and "Hug [distant relative on whom you have never laid eyes]'s neck!" and then being criticized for balking at performing cute/affectionate/cuddly-on-command. I was never into playing the "sweet and affectionate little girl" my mother and most other female relatives expected me to be, and I refused to be broken to that role.

If I had had the words, what I would have wanted to say is, "Why? I'm in no way emotionally intimate with these people! I don't KNOW these people! No! Why don't my feelings matter in this situation? I'm not a puppy to be passed around!"

Instead, after balking, I would stress out, melt down, and start to cry, and I wasn't a child prone to meltdowns. At that point, my dad would usually rescue me while my mom glared at me, embarrassed. I remember leaving those gatherings feeling shamed and disrespected. I experienced that shit as betrayal and remember it as such.

It would have been wonderful if, just once, any of my adult people with whom I was emotionally intimate had told them up front to cut it out or had told me before I had to run one of those gauntlets that whether or not I hugged or kissed any of those people was up to me and helped me our with some words to ward them off.

Good for the Girl Scouts for bringing up this issue.

For so many reasons, it is important for girls to be free to be unaccommodating and to radiate un-groomable vibes whenever necessary!
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Re: Girl Scouts Warn Parents Not to Force Hugs on Holidays

Postby Burnt Hill » Fri Nov 24, 2017 7:48 pm

wetland wrote:Instead, after balking, I would stress out, melt down, and start to cry, and I wasn't a child prone to meltdowns. At that point, my dad would usually rescue me while my mom glared at me, embarrassed. I remember leaving those gatherings feeling shamed and disrespected. I experienced that shit as betrayal and remember it as such.


I am sorry you went through that kind of emotional abuse.
I feel terribly sad for you. Those are horrible feelings to live with.
I hope your life has grown past all that.

I came from a big Italian family and remember being pretty shy of a lot of the
hugging,kissing, cheek pinching, wrestling (cousins) and more when I was little.
I grew into loving those holiday events.
Now I encourage "family attachment and that kind of loving space that a lot of time only happens at the holidays" not limit as the Girl Scouts suggest.

Awareness of difference between physical and sexual affection is essential
and I suppose the Holidays are are good time to for families to have a discussion.
Hugging is a normal part of many families interactions though,
and it is wrong to discourage it as a rule.
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Re: Girl Scouts Warn Parents Not to Force Hugs on Holidays

Postby identity » Sat Nov 25, 2017 10:30 pm

Touch Starvation in America.jpeg
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
We should never forget Galileo being put before the Inquisition.
It would be even worse if we allowed scientific orthodoxy to become the Inquisition.

Richard Smith, Editor in Chief of the British Medical Journal 1991-2004,
in a published letter to Nature
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Re: Girl Scouts Warn Parents Not to Force Hugs on Holidays

Postby Elvis » Sat Nov 25, 2017 11:10 pm

I gave my niece an extra big squeeze and a kiss on the cheek. :clown
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Re: Girl Scouts Warn Parents Not to Force Hugs on Holidays

Postby stickdog99 » Sun Nov 26, 2017 8:55 am

Karmamatterz » 24 Nov 2017 19:50 wrote:Interesting. So now we're coming to this extreme.
http://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/a ... 39653.html

As a parent I fully understand how you don't force a child to do something that is going to make them uncomfortable and potentially damage them emotionally. Hugging is just one of those things you do with your kids ALL THE TIME. A normal healthy family has a lot of hugs being shared, probably daily. If you've got a creepy uncle, aunt, neighbor, cousin etc...you're normally not going to encourage your kids to interact with those people anyhow. Seems to me this is going a bit too far. It's common sense to raise your children in a manner so they know when to engage or not, and read their body language to understand if they are feeling scared.

Suggesting they instead give grandma or grandpa a high five? Holy crap has our culture ever taken a turn for the worse.

I think it's tragic to not encourage human contact, healthy touch and affection.

Still, Dr. Janet Taylor, a psychiatrist with offices in Sarasota and New York City told ABC News, that parents ought not create “a mass hysteria about physical contact with loved ones,” especially during the holiday season, in reaction to the Girls Scouts’ warning.

“As parents, we have to use common sense and also realize that it’s never too early to start a conversation about good touch and bad touch,” Taylor said. “But also we don’t want to overstep our boundaries so our children are not afraid of who they should not be afraid of. The awareness of unwanted contact that we have right now is needed. I just caution parents about limiting family attachment and that kind of loving space that a lot of time only happens at the holidays.”


Nobody owes anybody a hug, kiss etc....but teaching them how to be emotionally healthy is critical to proper development. Scaring kids with the latest trend isn't the right thing to do. I would say the Girl Scouts message is applicable to a small minority of parents who are socially inept and lack any awareness of body language. If the parents already have a creepy family member and they force their kids to hug these people then they sure aren't going to care what the Girl Scouts have to say about it. Common sense, not political correctness is what we need.

Our children should be encouraged to embrace the love of their immediate family in appropriate ways. Hugging is a good thing. Not everyone in the world is waiting to molest or rape them, and advice like this, rather than “setting them up for the rape culture” is actually doing the opposite. You're going to more likely make them distrustful of everyone in their lives, including their own family.

So let's discuss.

The Girl Scouts official warning:
http://www.girlscouts.org/en/raising-gi ... nsent.html


Where was this warning when I needed it most after moving from the Midwest to California? All these touchy feelies demanding bro hugs every fucking goodbye when I don't even hug my actual brothers.
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Re: Girl Scouts Warn Parents Not to Force Hugs on Holidays

Postby Karmamatterz » Sun Nov 26, 2017 12:01 pm

https://happyologist.co.uk/fun/the-shoc ... hind-hugs/

Here ya go Stick, just try it with animals if humans make you feels awkward. Lol

https://www.flickr.com/photos/16599764@N05/7400536926/
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