Hi Everybody at R.I,
Here are the paintings of mine that were in the show. I'm sick that I wasn't able to make the opening, but glad that it happened and was a good time for those who attended. Now I'm looking forward to meeting you all at some future event.
You're awesome Willow, thanks! And nice to see your prints and printmaking process, Annie, I'm looking forward to seeing the other's artwork as well. And thanks to Jeff for creating and hosting R.I.
This has been fun. I used feel inspired and do a painting at crucial junctures in my healing process, but stopped and hadn't done it for years. Thanks to the excitement around this show I'm working on a painting now, the first one I've done in a long time.
Artist’s StatementMy artwork documents my struggle to heal from the effects of the torture and mind control I was subjected to, from birth to age twenty-eight, in the U.S. Government sponsored MK Ultra program.
Painting-Divine Child....jpg
Divine Child of DarknessPortrays me, being held by my mother, who participated actively in the extreme abuse utilized in MK Ultra to construct the mind control programming.
My mother herself was a victim of incest and intergenerational cult abuse in the Irish/Celtic tradition. She was cold, aloof and incapable of bonding with her children. My father was jovial and emotional at times, but, in the manner of confirmed sociopaths, his gregariousness was nothing but a manipulative show.
With parents like these, the only chance I had to preserve my humanity and feel some love and protection was to establish, at an early age, a strong, direct connection with a power greater than myself.
This direct spiritual connection was a major factor in helping me to break free from the bondage I was born into.
Painting-Creativity.jpg
CreativityIn my early 20’s, my dissociated anger and rage about being abused led me to become the lead singer in an all-female punk band.
When my band signed a record deal, my family and the perpetrator network were thrilled. Popular music is a great source of money and influence, and they hoped that they had a successful band on their hands.
I did this painting in 1991, near the beginning of my healing process, and at that time I thought that it was about creativity in general.
Many years later, in the course of de-programming, I remembered the torture session in which they had installed the Creativity program and realized that my unconscious had guided me to depict elements of the programming in the painting.
Some features of Creativity or White Orchid program: The Egg – the egg symbolizes conception and birth. The program was encapsulated in an egg-shaped structure that was designed to contain and insure that, for my entire life, all of my creative work would serve them ( i.e. that they would have access to all monetary proceeds and that the artistic themes would serve their agenda.)
Grids – the grids in the corners depict the grids that they installed in my inner world to divide and structure my (artistic) life into time periods. They also created an “alter” (alternate personality) named Timekeeper. Timekeeper looked like Father Time. He wore a brown canvas monk style robe and carried a sickle. His job was to oversee time and make sure that I made no deviation from the dictates of the program.
*Good News – Even under sophisticated mind control, through my non-co-operation and defiance I was able to block, almost entirely, their attempts to control my creativity up until age 27, when I broke free, began my journey of healing and recovery, and reclaimed my artistic life.
Free
April 2010
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