Stories that should come from The Onion but don't

[backtoiam]

Netanyahu's dog says 'Happy Hannukah' by biting 2 guests at official event
Published time: 10 Dec, 2015 10:42



The pets of politicians often find themselves surrounded by important people – but they’re not always on their best behavior. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's recently-adopted pup Kaiya sank her teeth into two visitors at a Hannukah event.

The 10-year-old mixed breed was invited to a candle-lighting ceremony to mark the Jewish festival of Hannukah on Wednesday – but she didn't play nice with the other visitors.

The cheeky canine bit two people at the event, including an MP Sharren Haskel from the ruling Likud party.

However, Haskel – a trained veterinary nurse whose hand was bitten by Kaiya – dismissed the incident, telling Army Radio it was “trivial.”

Witnesses told the Times of Israel that the PM was visibly embarrassed, and accompanied Haskel to a side room where on-duty paramedics bandaged her hand.

But the embarrassment didn't end there.

Minutes later, attorney Or Alon, husband of Deputy Foreign Minister Tzipi Hotovely, was also bitten on the hand, reportedly moments after Netanyahu said “Get away from her, she bites.” He was also bandaged by the in-house team of paramedics.

But the incidents didn't deter Haskel and Alon from staying for the candle-lighting ceremony; both were seen smiling in photographs with the PM.

Kaiya was taken in from a rescue home earlier this year after Netanyahu's son found her at a pound about to be euthanized. In August, the prime minister posted a picture on Twitter urging dog lovers to adopt adult canines, saying “You won't regret it!”

How much light Kaiya brought into our home! If you want a canine, find an adult dog to rescue. You won't regret it! pic.twitter.com/tCI2Asw2R8
— Benjamin Netanyahu (@netanyahu) August 24, 2015

He also took to Facebook at the time, proclaiming his adoration for the “gentle and mild-mannered dog that instantly became a member of our family.”

The rescue pup has met a number of other dignitaries in the past, including US Secretary of State John Kerry. However, it remains unclear whether she'll be invited to future events.
https://www.rt.com/news/325413-netanyah ... -hannukah/

[Luther Blissett]

Poll: 30% of Republicans Want to Bomb a Fictional Disney Country

[AlicetheKurious]

Poll: 30% of Republicans Want to Bomb a Fictional Disney Country

And 19% of Democrats.

[elfismiles]

Poll: 30% of Republicans Want to Bomb a Fictional Disney Country

And 19% of Democrats.

Was just going to see if this had been posted.

[Elvis]

Bomb a Fictional Disney Country

It's not a bad idea.

[RocketMan]

This one's for the ages.

http://gawker.com/city-official-quits-a ... socialflow

City Official Quits After Asking Male Bus Driver to Dress Up as Adorable Little Old Lady

[Iamwhomiam]

International tourism grew by 50 million travelers last year

http://mashable.com/2016/01/18/international-tourism/

[fruhmenschen]

2 stories


1.


http://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign ... e-robertis

The Musée d’Orsay in Paris was wrong to call in police when performance artist Deborah de Robertis posed nude next to Manet’s Olympia, a painting often seen as a depiction of a naked prostitute.
Naked artist Deborah de Robertis arrested for posing nude next to Manet's Olympia
Read more

The museum may have cloaked itself in the law but morally it stands quite naked. This is a piece of prudery more worthy of Victorian England than Edouard Manet’s France. What would the novelist Emile Zola, whose portrait by Manet also hangs in the Orsay, and who was writing explicitly and honestly about “the human animal” at a time when Victorians were putting fig leaves on statues, have said about such absurd hypocrisy?

France has a long history of frankness about love and sex – it is famous for it – so the Musée d’Orsay needs to reconsider its apparent double standard when it comes to nudity. It’s fine for women to be naked there, apparently, if they were painted that way by dead white males, but outrageous for a woman artist to appear nude on her own terms, by her own volition, in this museum.

Let’s get this all out into the open. The Musée d’Orsay holds the world’s greatest collection of 19th-century art. It is also home to some of the most outrageous nudes ever painted. When Manet created Olympia in 1863 he set out to parody the revered nudes of Renaissance art by clearly implying that, far from being a goddess or nymph, his model is a



2.


http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2 ... drone-ship



Re-usable space rocket owned by Elon Musk experiences another ‘rapid unscheduled disassembly’ crash while trying to land

[seemslikeadream]

Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder Hires Spin Doctors for Flint Health Crisis

[Harvey]

Donald Trump is ‘nominated for Nobel Peace Prize’ for 'vigorous peace through strength ideology'

[seemslikeadream]

Michigan Governor Says Flint Residents Should Get A Discount On Toxic Water

Senior UN officials call to eliminate the ‘violent practice’ of female genital mutilation by 2030

[Burnt Hill]

Ha Ha: Hillary Clinton’s Top Financial Supporter Now Controls “The Onion”
https://theintercept.com/2016/01/26/ha- ... the-onion/

[brekin]

This one's for the ages.

http://gawker.com/city-official-quits-a ... socialflow

City Official Quits After Asking Male Bus Driver to Dress Up as Adorable Little Old Lady

Ha! Love it. I guess this is an example of the opposite of a "crisis actor", perhaps a "hum drum actor"? An agent of banality and the platitudinous.

And the shill looks like someone who works in a senior home, not a senior resident themselves.

[Iamwhomiam]

Meerkat expert cleared of assaulting monkey handler in spat over llama keeper

Published 10:31 am, Wednesday, February 24, 2016

LONDON (AP) — A former meerkat expert at London Zoo was cleared Tuesday of assaulting a monkey handler in a love spat over a llama-keeper.

Two High Court judges said Tuesday that Caroline Westlake had not "recklessly" injured Kate Sanders.

In October a lower court found Westlake, 30, guilty of assaulting Sanders, who suffered a cut cheek from a wineglass after the two women argued at a zoo Christmas party in 2014. Both had dated colleague Adam Davies.

Westlake had said she did not remember hitting her colleague with the glass. Westminster Magistrates' Court found she had struck Sanders "recklessly but not intentionally."

The High Court said Tuesday that magistrates had applied the wrong legal test for recklessness and quashed the conviction.

Westlake was fired by the zoo after the incident. Her lawyer, Suzanne Kelly, said Tuesday that "Ms. Westlake's life has been destroyed by something that was no more than an unfortunate accident."

"Justice has now been served and Ms. Westlake would now appreciate the opportunity to put this matter behind her and rebuild her life," Kelly said.

http://www.timesunion.com/news/article/ ... 851280.php

[zangtang]

that's worth a t-shirt!