rigorousintuition.ca

WakeUpAndLive wrote:

barracuda wrote:How 'bout this: if in the next hour one woman thinks you need to rethink your position, you'll agree to leave the thread.

I think I can work with that. Ladies?

I don't feel this is a fair preposition for a mod to be making.

barracuda wrote:

WakeUpAndLive wrote:

barracuda wrote:How 'bout this: if in the next hour one woman thinks you need to rethink your position, you'll agree to leave the thread.

I think I can work with that. Ladies?

I don't feel this is a fair preposition for a mod to be making.

I was kind of a joke, dude - just my way of letting brekin know that I don't accept the terms of his proposition, at all (unless it happens to work out in my favor). I haven't and don't expect to change my position on the quality of his participation here barring some sea-change on his part.

I knew we'd be seeing him.

Just sayin'.

Maddy wrote:

brekin wrote: Certain people continue to accuse me of misogynistic behavior without providing any real examples. Disagreeing
with three women on a misogyny thread I don't think qualifies.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Canadian_watcher wrote:

Stephen Morgan wrote:The present approach to opposing sexism does seem to be to spread the worst of each sex to the other.

here it is again: agreement.
BUT.. I argue that this is a result of the fact that we are labouring for change under a patriarchal structure which benefits from bringing out the the worst in all of us.

Stephen Morgan wrote:Women spend a rather large majority of all money,

being that the top 1% own most of the money, I doubt this is the case. If what you mean is that women tend to lay claim to the majority of the scraps left over for the rest of us, I think that that is propaganda.

Stephen Morgan wrote:As far as I'm concerned a civil servant is a civil servant and when he becomes a civil servant he becomes a civil servant and takes on the mantle of being a civil servant, with all the standard practices. IF women are becoming, becoming in more senses than one, civil servants, I'd rather we didn't blame men for their unpleasant behaviour, if you don't mind.

I mind, because it's not even 100 years since women were 'given' the vote..

so a lot of the structures in place were put there by dudes. Men are still over-represented in all the halls of power on this planet.

Project Willow wrote:
1. Very little actual discussion of how women experience this male-run world has taken place in this thread entitled "What Constitutes Misogyny."

2. Perhaps a dozen posts (on a supposedly progressive board) out of hundreds have expressed any empathy whatsoever for the status of women and what we endure, in this thread entitled "What Constitutes Misogyny."

3. Most of the exchanges have centered around men defensively denying, shaming, demeaning, and otherwise attacking the input of women, in this thread entitled "What Constitutes Misogyny."

It's a wee bit crazy-making.

brekin wrote:If in the next hour no one agrees with what
I've said so far I'll exile myself from this thread forever. It is 1:27 right now.

barracuda wrote:

brekin wrote:If in the next hour no one agrees with what
I've said so far I'll exile myself from this thread forever. It is 1:27 right now.

It's 2:32.

wintler2 wrote:It would be more crazy making if it was more surprising, its just same-old really, Ben Okri nailed it, 'the oppressor never knows the language of the oppressed'.

Most interesting for me is how hard some men will work to retain their selfimage as victims, i guess it is essential for the "if she stopped nagging i'd stop hitting her" excuse.

Types of Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse can take many forms. Three general patterns of abusive behavior include aggressing, denying, and minimizing.

Aggressing

Aggressive forms of abuse include name-calling, accusing, blaming, threatening, and ordering. Aggressing behaviors are generally direct and obvious. The one-up position the abuser assumes by attempting to judge or invalidate the recipient undermines the equality and autonomy that are essential to healthy adult relationships.

Aggressive abuse can also take a more indirect form and may even be disguised as “helping.” Criticizing, advising, offering solutions, analyzing, probing, and questioning another person may be a sincere attempt to help. In some instances, however, these behaviors may be an attempt to belittle, control, or demean rather than help. The underlying judgmental “I know best” tone the abuser takes in these situations is inappropriate and creates unequal footing in peer relationships.

Denying

Invalidating seeks to distort or undermine the recipient’s perceptions of their world. Invalidating occurs when the abuser refuses or fails to acknowledge reality. For example, if the recipient confronts the abuser about an incident of name calling, the abuser may insist, “I never said that,” “I don’t know what you’re talking about, “ etc.

Withholding is another form of denying. Withholding includes refusing to listen, refusing to communicate, and emotionally withdrawing as punishment. This is sometimes called the “silent treatment.”

Countering occurs when the abuser views the recipient as an extension of themselves and denies any viewpoints or feelings which differ from their own.

Minimizing

Minimizing is a less extreme form of denial. When minimizing, the abuser may not deny that a particular event occurred, but they question the recipient’s emotional experience or reaction to an event. Statements such as “You’re too sensitive,” “You’re exaggerating,” or “You’re blowing this out of proportion” all suggest that the recipient’s emotions and perceptions are faulty and not to be trusted.

Trivializing, which occurs when the abuser suggests that what you have done or communicated is inconsequential or unimportant, is a more subtle form of minimizing.

Denying and minimizing can be particularly damaging. In addition to lowering self-esteem and creating conflict, the invalidation of reality, feelings, and experiences can eventually lead you to question and mistrust your own perceptions and emotional experience.

WakeUpAndLive wrote:Can you please provide examples of me oppressing the female? I want to grow...I don't want to be considered misogynistic....I want peace.....I want mutual understanding.

Canadian_watcher wrote:I've already tried to make these points elsewhere in this thread (as have other people), and so far these explanations have fallen on deaf ears, but I'm trying it again.

when we have tried to answer the question: "Why do you think I've been misogynistic?" we've answered: "because you've invalidated our experiences." The result of that has been more invalidation which is evidenced by the fact that the same question: "Why do you think I've been misogynistic" gets asked again and again, thereby invalidating us once more.

The point is that this level of invalidation verges on being abusive. Since the subject of the invalidation is womens' experiences in a thread about misogyny it does seem that this repeated abusive behaviour might be rooted in sexism.

that's as gently and as fully as I can explain it, I think.

seemslikeadream wrote:This is a peonie thread? How'd I miss this? I love peonies!

Whatever reason a person is called a “slut,” the word is always meant to hurt them. In addition, the use of the word “slut” to bring people—primarily women—down for their sexuality feeds into a culture that accepts rape. When people are brought down for their sexual choices, it dehumanizes them and allows others to see them as not as worthy of protection from violence. As long as people are judged for how few or how many sex partners they have, how rarely or how often they have sex, or whatever other choices they make for their own sex lives, we cannot eradicate the myth that survivors of sexual assault were “asking for it.”

We’re sick of slut-shaming and victim-blaming being a part of our culture, so we’re doing something about it: we’re going to make our voices heard. This June we will walk in Seattle to stand together, fight the social acceptance of rape in our culture, and re-appropriate the word “slut” as one that cannot be used to harm.

People of all orientations, gender identities, races, ages, abilities, walks of life, and levels of sluttiness are invited to join us. All we ask is that you stand with us for what is right. We’re sick of being shamed for our sex choices and being told that survivors of sexual assault brought it on themselves. If you’re sick of it too, come walk with us!