82_28 wrote:I guess I am not done with this thread after all.
Sounder, thanks for that. I have a similar story about a remodeler I once worked for as well, but will save for a later date. I super hope your boss and his family can sort this out. Shit like that is always hard, especially with dysfunctional familial situations. My girlfriend's friend has a daughter who tried to do the same last year and is now heavily medicated, though maybe not as heavily as when it first went down.
But let me relay this story I have about tension, suicide, depression and etc. I was suicidal (well, quasi suicidal for about two years -- I did not want to live at all, but did not want to leave those who I loved high and dry -- conflicted with deep pain). Honest to god, I came out of it by beginning to post here. I was telling my girlfriend about this dust up last night and I said "seriously, were it not for RI, you, my dad, Sara etc etc, I would not be here today". I used and do use this place as a creative outlet and did so with a view to not whining about my shitty ass life, but to add to what I think is a creative-ass community on topicality. Often, because I was so depressed, like contemplating death depressed, I would come to RI to distract myself. I got over my paranoia in posting here by getting over my depression by communicating here -- QED. To lose RI would not be as awful as the losses I accrued those years and the dysfunctional way (I believe) I handled things inside due to a resurgence of my sometimes brutal OCD. But the creativity and the love here saved me. All by perfect strangers and by way of the creativity, I have made new friends all across the globe.
I was surfing all the depression sites, medication sites all the time, just trying to find some kind of answer to the pain I was feeling. And you motherfuckers saved me, every last one. This is where I came to grieve and to once again live, in edifying fashion. This is how I feel about this place. It is what it is. And what it is is what it is. Sure, we cover a bunch of depressing-ass shit here, yet at least people here are thinking. It's not nice to push people out when they come in peace and this is disturbing, to me. We are not all the same. We're all here and must trust that similar routes are also being followed to get to here by each and every one of us.
Oh I hear you on having dealt with high levels of OCD and all other subsets.
Thing is, while my dive into(ok I'll just use the word) "conspiracy research" almost a decade ago validated feelings I had that "something wasn't right in this world", I also almost wish I had all the time I ever spent doing "research", watching "documentaries" or being on conspiracy websites. While I'm about as unparanoid as it gets(Ive seen some people who dived into conspiracy culture only to end up gun nut right wing/left wing tools who believe everything they read) I also feel it hasnt gotten me anywhere. Its not like im in some NGO saving people in far off lands or affecting any real change.
Ok, so I can be in the cool club of seeing the world for what it is, unlike the "zombified sheeple". woo hoo. Conspiracy research never got me a job, a girlfriend, etc...other than obscure references I can use in my comedic writing, I honestly am not sure what good has come from it.
"Do you know who I am? I am the arm, and I sound like this..."-man from another place, twin peaks fire walk with me