by banned » Fri Oct 21, 2005 12:54 am
I had a breakdown after 9/11 and I've never been back up to where I was before. I've felt surrounded by Evil, in my own life and in the wider world, as I never have before in my half century on the planet. I have inherited depression anyway and when I go down, I fear this time I won't come back up.<br><br>But without being a Pollyanna or dismissing the seriousness of your feelings or the perilousness of the state of the world, the world has always been a pretty scary place for most of recorded history. People could have said "Wow, why bother, Rome is falling", or "What's the point, I hear Genghis Khan just sacked the next town and is headed our way," or "What's the point, this war (whatever war) is going to consume us all."<br><br>Awhile ago I read a GREAT article which unfortunately I now can't find, I'm not even sure who wrote it, I think Mark Morford in the San Francisco Chronicle; anyway, the author basically said, if we don't continue to live, and to affirm the positive values of life, THEY WIN. It reminded me of a wonderful book I read in my late teens called " Crossing: A Journal of Survival and Resistance in World War II" by Jan Yoors, about the author's experiences with the Rom (gypsies) in WWII (his first book was called "The Gypsies"). As you know, the Nazis targeted the Rom. Their way of life was intended to stay as far as possible from the world of the 'gaje' (non-gypsies) but they were engulfed in it and many were consumed.<br><br>As a kid I had read a book about gypsies written in the 1930s, and as a free spirit chafing in the suburbia of the 1950s and in Catholic school, I had wanted to join them and travel around in their wagon caravans. I had not known then what fate would await my kindred 'free spirits' when they met the death's-head forces of totalitarianism.<br><br>I don't even know if the book is still in print but nowadays it's pretty easy to find OP books on the net. I highly recommend this one.<br><br>Back in 1971 when I first read it, I typed up a page of quotes from that book for inspiration. I probably still have it somewhere.<br><br>There are two I remember, though I can't swear the quotes are exact. They were spoken by Yoors' adoptive father in the tribe in which he had lived.<br><br>"True heroism is to stay alive in the face of danger and dare to love."<br><br>"One day you will learn again to open the closed fist. Only life makes sense."<br><br>By the way, I am a fiction writer and while I wrote quite a bit over the winter of 2001-2, then I dried up. I only started writing again in the last month, and while it may not be the best stuff I've ever done, what matters is that I am CREATING again.<br><br>We will undoubtedly have to fight and destroy our enemies unless we want to hand them the victory, but we have to continue to create and to love the good people in our lives. If it comes to that, may we have the grace of the native warrior to say "This is a good day to die", but until then, don't let the bastards take enoyment of the things that make life worth living away from you while you still have them.<br><br> <p></p><i></i>