Nordic wrote:FWIW, in my stepdaughter's world there are several "autistic" kids, some of whom are extremely popular. One of the boys in particular, who has Aspergers, has to beat the girls off with a stick (my stepdaughter even went for him for a while). I have a friend with an autistic son in high school, and this kid also does really well with the ladies. Go figure!
Not brain-damaged, mercury-poisoned, write-offs then? Who knew!

Oh, wait! Now somebody is going to come along and say that those kids are not really autistic.

Michelle Dawson is an autistic woman who has been fearlessly standing up for the rights of autistic children and adults in Canada. Her open letter No Autistics Allowed, which spotlighted the exclusion of autistic people from a meaningful place in the Canadian autism societies and the often-frightening practices of said autism societies, gained signatures from autistic and non-autistic people all over the world [...] It is inevitable that such writing will be controversial and produce a backlash. And now we see it, in an attack on Michelle Dawson containing a good deal of unfounded speculation: A Mother's Perspective, written by Kit Weintraub of FEAT and hosted by the Association for Science in Autism Treatment, [...]The article goes on to question whether Michelle Dawson is indeed autistic, [....]
>snip<
The messages about how different various children are from us can range from darkly amusing to frustrating for many of us. The children being described, depending on the context, range from similar to how we have been to similar to how we are now. Some parents tell us their children's lack of certain abilities means that all parts of autism need to be fixed, when we may have less of those abilities than the children being described. But they dismiss our views, and dismiss us as anomalies or liars.
To give an example, take the three of us who currently work on autistics.org, in the areas commonly cited by parents trying to claim we aren't autistic or at least aren't "like their children". Note that not all of these things are things we believe naturally stem from autism, but they are brought up frequently by parents in their quest to prove that we aren't fit to offer our opinions about autism. The following list makes us sound like a bundle of problems, but it needs to be said:
>snip long list of autistic traits, deficits, difficulties, except this<
* All of us have had our lives threatened as a result of both other people's actions toward autistic people and aspects of autism without proper support from our surrounding societies.
A lot of people have trouble believing that an autistic person could fit any or all of the above descriptions and still have our opinions. They appear to think, "If only you knew how autistic people really live, you'd want a cure and approve of everything we did." Unfortunately for them, this isn't the truth. It's our opinions that are different, not necessarily our lives. And even if we had to live our entire lives in negative circumstances or without an adequate means of communication (as we have all done at one point or another), we still believe we would be worthwhile human beings and that curing us would not be the answer.
But that, while frustrating, is not the central part of the problem. We shouldn't have to "prove" ourselves in this demeaning manner, and the only reason we are being asked to do so is the opinions we state. People like us in all other respects, but who are subservient to the wishes of others, get fewer interrogations about their autism status, although some of them get equally-demeaning praise about "overcoming" their autism. As soon as we change our minds, others change theirs about us. Instead of being seen as the compassionate and definitely autistic people we are, we are seen as vicious and cruel people who don't understand real autism. People try to have it both ways, telling us we're not autistic and then insulting us by telling us that our autistic characteristics prevent us from being ethical.
We know because some of us have done that kind of subservience, too. Obedient autistic people get condescending praise like beloved pets, while the same autistics standing up for ourselves get treated like rabid wild animals masquerading as housecats. As Larry Arnold, an autistic man fighting similar battles in the UK, writes, "I am not a tame, house trained autistic, I am the feral kind. I am a wolf, not a sheep dog."
What happens to us is the same as what's happening to Michelle Dawson, and other autistic people who challenge non-autistic assumptions about us, our place in society, and how we should be treated: People discount us for who we are rather than what we say, even in cases (such as The Misbehaviour of Behaviourists) when it is clearly universal human rights under discussion, not a personal perspective on autism. Whether we meet someone's stereotype of autism becomes more important than what's being said.
>snip<
As for blaming autistic people's difference for the cruelty we receive, that removes the accountability of the people who are being cruel to autistic people. It makes it sound as if autism is to blame for the harm done to autistic people by others, which makes no more sense than saying accent and skin color are to blame for racism. When a person is being discriminated against for a quality, it's not that quality that needs changing....
>snip<
http://www.autistics.org/library/dawson.html
I apologize for my terrible cut and paste job there. I'm trying to bring in "the autistic voice" sans the tl;dr. I recommend reading the essay in it's entirety at the link.