What constitutes Misogyny?

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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby Laodicean » Wed Mar 30, 2011 2:24 pm

*

An interesting weekend planned in Toronto...

Mallick: What to wear for SlutWalk


By Heather Mallick (Star Columnist)

“Women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized,” Toronto police Const. Michael Sanguinetti told a class on rape at Osgoode Hall Law School. He then apologized and ran for cover, but the fact is, in the Sanguinetti world we live in, women are judged on their appearance.

SlutWalk, a beautifully conceived and organized protest against this kind of women-hating, starts at central Queen's Park at 1:30 this Sunday and winds up at Toronto Police Headquarters at 40 College St. Wear anything you like, the organizers told me when I emailed them. Because it isn't what you're wearing that matters, it's that cops, and indeed rapists, will assess you whatever you wear. Their assessment will invariably be different from yours.

SlutWalk will feature people in all sorts of garments and gear, dressed for the office, clubbing, yoga, walking the dog, whatever it is that people wear as they go about their lives not asking to be raped. It is a message of love and strength to all women (and men), especially those who have been assaulted at the core of their being.

What looks slutty? What is this cop's index of clothes that shout “I'm asking for it?”

I could ask Delroy Grant, the London, England “night stalker” who police have linked to 203 rapes, mostly on elderly women but including 10 men, in almost 20 years of frenzied attacks. I don't know what his victims were wearing. Cardigans, I imagine, and bed socks.

Alice Sebold, author of The Lovely Bones, was raped when she was a student at Syracuse University. Another girl had been raped in the same tunnel. She had been killed and dismembered. You're lucky, the police told her. Sebold had been wearing overalls. The police told her this was good, a virgin in ugly clothes. These are the “cosmetics of rape” that the police prefer.

In 2002, British teenager Lindsay Armstrong, 16, was raped. In court she was told to hold up the thong she'd been wearing when attacked. “Little Devil,” it read. Lindsay had been very proud of her fashionable underwear and, her parents said, she was mortified by having to show them in court. “She was horrified and crying,” her mother said. Three weeks later, Lindsay killed herself.

I don't know what slut clothes are. For a woman, looking sexy and feeling sexy are different things, says theorist Linda Grant, author of the classic The Thoughtful Dresser. “You could put on a tight bustier, a body-con skirt and towering heels and still feel like you want to go back to bed and die.”

Sanguinetti doesn't see it this way, and he thinks other cops don't either. We are at a terrible impasse, and it will cost women their mental and physical health.

“Unhappy hag, Iran could use a woman like you,” a man emailed me Tuesday. Fascinating how many men who love Stephen Harper and hate my columns about him will say such things. The Iranian woman he was referring to was gang-raped by the police.

Here, I am wearing a Diane von Furstenberg “Helen” dress in grape, Chanel brooch, boyfriend watch, black pumps, pearl earrings and wedding ring. I dress to please myself and to make my husband think, “I'd like to take that dress out to dinner.” The message I want to send is: “This dress would also like to go out to dinner with you.” Message sent, message hopefully received.


http://www.thestar.com/news/article/965 ... r-slutwalk
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby OP ED » Wed Mar 30, 2011 3:05 pm

compared2what? wrote:
Silence of the Lambs?



(tease)
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby OP ED » Wed Mar 30, 2011 3:09 pm

but, seriously, this thread has been fascinating reading and a lot more constructive than half a dozen similarly themed threads that never made it so far. kudos to thee particpants and mr. wells for keeping it relatively untoasty.
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby Iamwhomiam » Wed Mar 30, 2011 4:44 pm

"Sanguinetti"? Little blood-letter?
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby Iamwhomiam » Wed Mar 30, 2011 5:35 pm

I belong to that classification of people known as wives. I am a wife. And, not altogether incidentally, I am a mother.

Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene from the Midwest fresh from a recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of course, with his ex-wife. He is obviously looking for another wife. As I thought about him while I was ironing one evening, it suddenly occurred to me that I, too, would like to have a wife. Why do I want a wife?

I would like to go back to school, so that I can become economically independent, support myself, and, if need be, support those dependent upon me. I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I am going to school I want a wife to take care of my children. I want a wife to keep track of the children's doctor and dentist appointments. And to keep track of mine, too. I want a wife to make sure my children eat properly and are kept clean. I want a wife who will wash the children's clothes and keep them mended. I want a wife who is a good nurturant attendant to my children, arranges for their schooling, makes sure that they adequate social life with their peers, takes them to the park, the zoo, etc. I want a wife who takes care of the children when they are sick, a wife who arrenges to be around when the children need special care, because, of course, I cannot miss classes at school. My wife must arrange to lose time at work and not lose the job. It may mean a small cut in my wife's income from time to time, but I guess I can tolerate that. Needless to say, my wife will arrange and pay for the care of the children while my wife is working.

I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after my children, a wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what I need the minute I need it. I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife who is a good cook. I want a wife who will plan the menus, do the necessary grocery shoping, prepare the meals, serve them pleasantly, and then do the cleaning up while I do my studying. I want a wife who will care for me when I am sick and sympathize with my pain and loss of time from school. I want a wife to go along when our family takes a vacation so that someone can continue to care for me and my children when I need a rest and a change of scene.

I want a wife who will take care of details of my social life. When my wife and I are invited out by my friends, I want a wife who will take care of the babysitting arrangements. When I meet people at school that I like and want to certain, I want a wife who will have the house clean, will prepare a special meal, serve it to me and my friends, and not interrupt when I talk about the things that interest me and my friends. I want a wife who will have arranged that the children are fed and ready for bed before my guests arrive so that the children do not bother us. I want a wife who takes care of the needs of my guests so that they feel comfortable, who makes sure that they have an ashtray, that they are passed the hors d'oeuvres, that they helping of the food, that their wine glasses are replenished when necessary, that their coffee is served to them as they like it. And I want a wife who knows that sometimes I need a night ot by myself.

I want a wife who is sensitive to my sexual needs, a wife who makes love passionately and eagerly when I feel like it, a wife who makes sure that I am satisfied. And, of course, I want a wife who will not demand sexual attention when I am not in the mood for it. I want a wife who assumes the complete responsibility for birth control, because I do not want more children. I want a wife who will remain sexually faithful to me so that I do not have to clutter up my intellectual life with jealousies. And I want a wife who understands that my sexual needs may entail more than strict adherence to monogamy. I must, after all, be able to ralate to people as fully as possible.

If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one. Naturally, I will expect a fresh, new life; my wife will take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left free.

When I am through with school and have acquired a job, I want my wife to quit working and remain at home so that my wife can moree fully and completely take care of a wife's duities.

My God, who wouldn't want a wife?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why I Want A Wife
By Judy Syfers

Judy Syfers was born in 1937 in San Francisco and was educated at the University of Iowa where she received her B.F.A. in 1962. She became a free-lance writer during the 1960s and has written articles on such issues as abortion, education, and the labor and women's movements for variety of publications. Ms. Syfers originally published, “Why I Want A Wife,” in the Spring 1972 issue of Ms. magazine. In this article, Ms. Syfers presents a witty satirical view of a women’s traditional role as a servant to her husband. This provocative essay has become a classic of feminist satire. When first published she used her married name of Syfers, but now goes by Judy Brady. Judy has been married, raised two daughters, and then returned to San Francisco where she was born. She now devotes much of her time to the politics of cancer.

http://www.mohave-wolf.com/contents/wife.html

This essay was published in the first issue of Ms Magazine in the Spring of 1972.

A bit more on Judy Syfers Brady:

In August 1970, a woman named Judy Syfers stood before a crowd gathered in San Francisco and read an essay she wrote entitled "Why I Want a Wife." The crowd was gathered to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the 19th amendment, giving women the right to vote.

Judy was heckled by men in the audience, but the essay had an immediate impact within the strengthening feminist movement. It was published in the first issue of Ms. Magazine in 1971. Today, the essay is read by students around the world as a classic example of feminist humor and satirical prose.

Judy Syfers, now Judy Brady, talks with Dick Gordon about how writing the essay changed her life. She got involved with other political movements in the late 70's and 80's, but she credits the women's movement with opening her mind and giving her a foundation as an activist for social justice.


http://thestory.org/archive/the_story_334_Why_I_Want_A_Wife.mp3/view
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby Pele'sDaughter » Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:12 pm

:thumbsup
Don't believe anything they say.
And at the same time,
Don't believe that they say anything without a reason.
---Immanuel Kant
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby norton ash » Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:37 pm

Y'all should go find wives then.
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby 23 » Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:54 pm

I never wanted a wife, but married several times because my SO, at the time, wanted a husband. So I acquiesced.

I still have no interest in a wife. And I'm no longer interested in acquiescing to anyone's need or desire for a husband.
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby norton ash » Wed Mar 30, 2011 7:04 pm

Is a man a Peter Pan if he resigns from the herd, likes his own cooking, prefers to wash his own dirty socks, and doesn't want kids?

Wow, Wendy's much the same way, as it turns out. One cooks, the other does dishes. And we grocery shop together.
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby Nordic » Wed Mar 30, 2011 7:21 pm

I always wanted a husband. You know, someone who would work their ass off 12 hours a day in a high stress, high paying job and therefore by out of my hair most of the day while I spent his money, had lunch with my friends, start a new business (like making hats! Or jewelry!), go to yoga classes, and "find myself".

Seriously, has anyone in this thread addressed the issue that women kinda can have it better than men? Women have a choice now, you can decide to go for the wealthy guys and be a rich housewife, supported by a working husband (or in some cases a guy who inherited a bunch of dough but still feels compelled for appearance's sake to go out and be in some office somewhere for most of the day), do your own thing, raise the kids and be home with them ......... oh, and complain BITTERLY about my husband. Because he's never home. He works too much. He's tired all the time. He's not available when I try to call him eight times a day while he's at work.

Women can also decide to have a career now. And forego all of that misery.

Men don't really have that choice. If they marry a rich wife who supports them while they pursue their dreams, they're kinda looked down upon. It's not really considered socially acceptable to do that, even nowadays. It certainly isn't considered manly.

Men are expected to go out, still, and make the money and suck up all the stress. Have the full responsibility of supporting a familiy. And people wonder why we drop dead of heart attacks at age 50 sometimes.

Personally it was never an option, for me, to go find myself a nice supportive husband who would pay the bills and let me do my art.

I wish I could have had a husband!
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby barracuda » Wed Mar 30, 2011 7:26 pm

:snoring:
The most dangerous traps are the ones you set for yourself. - Phillip Marlowe
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby 23 » Wed Mar 30, 2011 8:00 pm

^^^ Shhh! He's dreaming.

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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby seemslikeadream » Wed Mar 30, 2011 9:36 pm

11-Year-Old Texas Girl Raped Repeatedly for Three Months
The horrific gang rape of an 11-year-old girl in a sleepy Texas town garnered mainstream media attention last month -- mostly because of the horrific nature of the events, but also because the New York Times ran a widely reviled, misogynist piece that engaged in egregious victim blaming.

The Times follows up on the story today (with different reporters on the beat, it should be noted), and the details of the case are even more heartbreaking than previously thought. The gang rape, it turns out, was not an isolated incident, but just one account in an ordeal that lasted for nearly three months. So far, nineteen men have been charged in the case. They range in age from 14 to 27.

To reiterate the facts of the story: The victim is a sixth grader whose parents are immigrants from Mexico, the Times reports. She said that when Eric B. McGowan, 19, called and asked her if she wanted to 'ride around,' he and two other men took her to a trailer belonging to a registered sex offender (not charged in this case), where someone had been shot and killed earlier in the year.

She was then allegedly threatened to strip by Timothy D. Ellis, 19, who warned her that if she refused he would 'have some girls beat her up.'

According to indictments, one man accused of participating was Kelvin R. King, 21, who was out on bond while awaiting trial on rape and robbery charges. Another was Marcus A. Porchia, 26, who worked at a local mental health clinic. Yet another, Isaiah R. Ross, 21, the son of a local school board member, was also present at the Nov. 28 rape, according to a search warrant affidavit for his telephone.

The November assault was not isolated, court documents say. Mr. King’s brother, Xavier M. King, 17, and Devo Shaun Green, 20, are accused of raping the girl on Sept. 15. Mr. McGowen and two others — Jamarcus N. Napper, 18, and Cedric DeRay Scott, 27 — are charged with sexually assaulting her on Oct. 25. Carlos B. Ligons, 22, is charged with sexually assaulting her on Dec. 1. The last indictment, released Monday, accuses Walter J. Harrison, 26, of raping her on Dec. 1 and Dec. 3. The police released no details about those episodes.

The sheer number of the accused is nauseating enough, but the age difference is even more awful. This girl is 11 years old -- young enough to still keep stuffed animals on her bed, according to her father -- and was allegedly assaulted by men as old as 27 years old.

Making it all worse, the girl's family is living in poverty, and her parents both have health problems -- her father is diabetic, and her mother has a brain mass and needs surgery. Child protective services have taken the girl into foster care in another town. The parents must attend family therapy to regain custody.


3-Month Nightmare Emerges in Rape Inquiry

Michael Stravato for The New York Times
LEAVING HOME The 11-year-old girl often came home, right, late at night, her father says.
By JAMES C. McKINLEY and ERICA GOODE
Published: March 28, 2011

CLEVELAND, Tex. — A year ago, the 11-year-old girl who the police say was the victim of repeated gang rapes in this East Texas town was an outgoing honor roll student, brimming with enthusiasm, who went on hikes and planted trees with a youth group here.

A TROUBLED HOME The initial assaults occurred in the Rayford T. Ellis home, the affidavits say.
“She has always been a really bubbly child,” said Brenda Myers, director of the Community and Children’s Impact Center, who worked with her. “She always had a smile on her face.”

But in October, just after starting sixth grade, the girl became withdrawn, Ms. Myers said, and in November, she stopped attending the center’s meetings.

What happened during those months is the subject of a criminal investigation that has sent waves of shock and sorrow through this impoverished town and has provoked anger across the nation.

The police say the girl was raped on at least six occasions, from Sept. 15 to Dec. 3. Nineteen boys and men, ages 14 to 27, have been charged in connection with the rapes, the most recent arrest last Wednesday.

Court documents and dozens of interviews over several weeks with the girl’s family, her friends and neighbors, as well as those who know the defendants, provide a more complete picture of what occurred as well as a deeper portrait of the victim. What begins to emerge is the nightmarish ordeal of a young girl over two and a half months involving an eclectic group of young men, some with criminal records, who shared a powerful neighborhood bond.

In his first interview, with The New York Times, the father of the girl, a 57-year-old carpenter named Juan, said he became aware of his daughter’s abuse in late November, when she arrived home at 3 or 4 a.m. after having slipped out without permission. She was shaking and weeping when her mother opened the door to their small white frame house, he said, and she immediately closed herself in her room.

Later in the day, she told her mother she had been raped after her parents found sexually explicit photos that had been sent to her father’s cellphone, which she had been using. She told her father that the men had threatened to kill her.

Juan, whose last name is being withheld to protect his daughter’s identity, said his wife reported the crime to the police three days later, but in court documents the Cleveland Police Department said it was first alerted on Dec. 3 by school authorities.

Juan said his daughter had been a bright and easygoing girl, adept at schoolwork. As she reached puberty, he said, she had grown tall for her age and had begun to talk about wanting to be a fashion model. Yet she was still a child; her bed was piled high with stuffed animals. “Her mind is a child’s mind,” he said. “That’s what makes me so angry.”

The arrests have raised fundamental questions about how a girl might have been repeatedly abused by many men and boys in a tightly knit community without any adult intervening, or even seeming to register that something was amiss, until sexually explicit videos of the victim began circulating in local schools.

“It wasn’t that anyone was asleep,” said the Rev. Travis Hulett Jr., the pastor of the New Bethel Missionary Baptist Church, which anchors the Precinct 20 neighborhood where most of the defendants live. “You can be awake and see things and still not do anything.”

The Cleveland police and the local district attorney have released little information about the alleged rapes and the evidence, and their silence has allowed rumor and speculation to flourish. Judge Mark Morefield of State District Court issued a broad order two weeks ago prohibiting law enforcement officials, defense lawyers, potential witnesses and relatives of the girl and defendants from speaking about the case to reporters.

According to court documents, the police seized the telephones of three men arrested, and the father of the girl said his family’s phones and computer were taken for evidence, as well. Eighteen defendants have pleaded not guilty; the 19th has yet to be arraigned.


The police interviewed the girl in early December, after school security officials heard rumors about sexually explicit videos circulating among the students. Then an elementary school student told a school employee she had seen pictures of the girl having sex with two young men, one of them a high school basketball star.

NO ONE HOME Assaults of the girl are said to have continued in this abandoned trailer.
The girl, a sixth grader whose parents are immigrants from Mexico, told investigators that one of the defendants called her on Sunday, Nov. 28, during the Thanksgiving break, and asked if she wanted “to ride around,” according to four police search warrant affidavits.

That defendant, Eric B. McGowen, 19, who was on probation for burglary, and two other male teenagers picked her up at her house, and took her to a house in Precinct 20, the affidavits said. The wooded community is a hodgepodge of small houses, trailers and churches, bordered on two sides by railroad tracks and on a third by a prison. Everyone is related by blood or friendship.

The girl was taken to a blue house with white trim and a heart-shaped welcome sign — a house with a troubled history. The head of the household, Rayford T. Ellis, has a long criminal record and is a registered sex offender; one of his sons, Authur Ellis, 27, was arrested this year on murder charges. Neither man is charged in this case.

The police say a younger son, Rayford T. Ellis Jr., 19, an iron worker known as Mookie, shot and killed a teenager at the same house in August 2008. The younger Rayford Ellis was awaiting trial on manslaughter charges when he was arrested in early February on charges that he had raped the girl. (He has fathered at least five children with four young women, according to paternity suits.)

It is unclear from the affidavits if the younger Mr. Ellis was there the night of Nov. 28. But the girl said that a cousin, Timothy D. Ellis, 19, was there, and ordered her to strip, telling her that he would “have some girls beat her up” and would not drive her home if she refused, the affidavits said.

The affidavits said the girl told investigators that she then “engaged in sexual intercourse and oral sex” with several of the men present, among them Jared G. McPherson, 18, a high school basketball player, and Jared L. Cruse, also 18, who has since been charged with robbing a grocery store in the next county.

During the sexual assault, the girl said, she heard Mr. McGowen call someone on the phone and invite him to the house to have sex with her, the affidavits said. Four more men whom she did not know arrived.

The assault was interrupted when Timothy Ellis’s aunt arrived at the house, the affidavits said, and the men took the girl out a back window to a squalid abandoned trailer a block away, where the sexual attack continued. Her underwear was left behind.

According to indictments, one man accused of participating was Kelvin R. King, 21, who was out on bond while awaiting trial on rape and robbery charges. Another was Marcus A. Porchia, 26, who worked at a local mental health clinic. Yet another, Isaiah R. Ross, 21, the son of a local school board member, was also present at the Nov. 28 rape, according to a search warrant affidavit for his telephone.

The November assault was not isolated, court documents say. Mr. King’s brother, Xavier M. King, 17, and Devo Shaun Green, 20, are accused of raping the girl on Sept. 15. Mr. McGowen and two others — Jamarcus N. Napper, 18, and Cedric DeRay Scott, 27 — are charged with sexually assaulting her on Oct. 25. Carlos B. Ligons, 22, is charged with sexually assaulting her on Dec. 1. The last indictment, released Monday, accuses Walter J. Harrison, 26, of raping her on Dec. 1 and Dec. 3. The police released no details about those episodes.

Four of the defendants are charged with continuous sexual abuse of a young child. The rest are charged with a single count of aggravated sexual assault of a child under 14. Both felonies carry a sentence of 25 years to life in prison. In Texas, a child under 17 cannot give legal consent and, as in most states, ignorance of a child’s age is not a legal defense.


I can't access page 3 of the NYT article, could someone else post it? Thanks
Mazars and Deutsche Bank could have ended this nightmare before it started.
They could still get him out of office.
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Don’t forget that.
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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby JackRiddler » Thu Mar 31, 2011 12:23 am

Nordic wrote:I always wanted a husband. You know, someone who would work their ass off 12 hours a day in a high stress, high paying job and therefore by out of my hair most of the day while I spent his money, had lunch with my friends, start a new business (like making hats! Or jewelry!), go to yoga classes, and "find myself".


You should have just stopped there. Because it's not an insignificant point. Only one part of the picture.

Seriously, has anyone in this thread addressed the issue that women kinda can have it better than men? Women have a choice now, you can decide to go for the wealthy guys and be a rich housewife,


"Women" have this choice? "Now"? Really? Just go to nerve.com and pick up your own Mr. Darcy?

Men don't really have that choice. If they marry a rich wife who supports them while they pursue their dreams, they're kinda looked down upon. It's not really considered socially acceptable to do that, even nowadays. It certainly isn't considered manly.


Dude. Please. This is so remote from reality. Like there's a surplus of rich women waiting to marry me, because all of the other potential husbands are too proud to marry into money. Please!!! Fix me up with that situation, and then see if you even get to see me long enough to look down on me. The reality of such (rare) cases is almost never like what you seem to be imagining.

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Re: What constitutes Misogyny?

Postby Nordic » Thu Mar 31, 2011 2:12 am

I live in a place where there's a lot of everything. I know people, many of them, in these exact situations. It's one of the reasons I like to live here, you experience such an incredibly wide variety of human behavior.

There are far more rich bored housewives than house husbands (which was sorta my point), but they do exist, plentifully like everything else here.
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