On the subject of contemplating one's mortality

[Hammer of Los]

...

God bless you Peregrine. You are another wise bird; all the birds are wise, each in their own way.

My nan was very benign. She was a convert to Roman Catholicism but held a belief in the supernatural her entire life. She believed she was psychic, and that it ran in the family. I guess maybe something passed on to me. She was a tender, loving, kind, patient and compassionate woman, to me at least. I guess maybe she wasn't perfect. Who is?

I feel her presence sometimes, watching over me.

Not always approvingly, I might add.

But then, she doesn't know everything.

Not like I do.

Like for instance I know that I am an ageless, eternal, genderless spirit incarnated into flesh, for reasons of lesson learning and character building.

I am born and I shall die yet I am the birthless. Yeah, try figgerin' that one out.

I think the bardo will be a breeze.

Not quite sure where I am going to end up after that.

I hope its not too scary.

I trust that I will remember to breathe.

Never fear, brave hearts!* Never fear! You are the good and the wise.

I need a breather & a good soak in the tub.

Me too. Nothing better than a little ritual purification. And a bit of Kula Shaker's latest, "Pilgrim's Progress."* It is indeed an inspired album.






*Personally, I'm not actually that brave, yet I am the shaman. Love will find a way. Have faith and trust in providence.


...

[Sounder]

Peregrine wrote...

Elvis wrote:

Twyla LaSarc wrote:
I want it to all be a game where we all learn our lessons and evolve, but when actual incarnate beings are made to suffer* in real time it makes me doubt the benignity of the process.

*talking torture slaughterhouse war genocide kind of suffering, not emo personal pity

That's the part I can't quite wrap my head around. The rest I can rationalize/intellectualize, the suffering only to a degree. It's vexing.

This I think is probably the biggest hurddle for me, as well. I honestly do feel rather in the dark about that particular part of the process & not so sure about how benign the experience is. At least on this side of the fence. My religious upbringing certainly did not have any good answers for it.

If we can answer the most difficult question, then all the other ones will be a breeze. The interior sensibility, of feeling as if, it’s fine to suffer, but not too much, as a price to pay for learning may be almost universal. But the issue that matters more is the one where our sensibilities cringe at the consideration. To me, the basic fact is that folk that impose heinous suffering on others have chosen an imperative that effectively requires that individual to participate in imposing said heinous suffering on any target that may be chosen by any given pseudo-tribal grouping. This is the game played through ideology, or coercively structured use of language. Jesuits and Marxists are adepts of this style of meta-manipulative control of narrative. (They most often ignore any potential content of counter narrative.)

This process does not seem at all benign to me, in that culture itself relies on fracturing the psyches of the people through many forms of trauma conditioning. But it may be a signal that the question will be answered through recognition of motivating forces behind the trauma conditioning element that seems to be a central feature of culture from antiquity and right up to this age of modern man. For me the lesson of the most unpleasant aspects of humanity is that a split reality model provides the energy for the false imperatives that drive the bulk of heinous response patterns. The only way to even begin to stop this gratuitous violence to our own and others psyches is to redesign our conceptual structures so that no longer will the best liars be the natural leaders of institutions and society.

Pray for the dead, for the living and for our children, that we might learn from mistakes that collectively, are of our own making.

[NeonLX]

You know what really gets to me? Watching kids suffer and die from cancer or other horrible diseases (including hunger & malnutrition). My outlook becomes positively black at that point. I mean, we humans have the resources to conquer this stuff, but instead, we squander almost all of them on greed & destruction.

[Avalon]

I just got home a couple of days ago after 2 weeks of unconsciousness, and 4 weeks after that in rehab. Fell on the ice in front of my house, got a subdural hematoma, needed brain surgery. In rehab I learned to walk and gain my strength back again, to gather thoughts and associations, and use logic. Fantastic recovery, they tell me, and I'm not seeing any deficits at this point, other than the walking strength taking longer.

So I've had some time to contemplate my mortality lately. Mostly feeling very loved, and reluctant to leave this plane yet. Nothing too deep or wordy, just very grateful to be alive.

[Simulist]

Holy crap, Avalon. I'm glad you're doing okay, and I hope you continue to improve.

The very best to you.

[ShinShinKid]

I've been thinking more and more about death lately...frankly, it's been scaring the shit out of me...what happens?!! I thought a NDE(back in July) would give me some better perspective, but it just scared the snot out of me. Literally keeping me up at night. I have been hearing about the threads lately, and from all kinds of sources...who knows.? Good to read some of the thoughts here.
Holy shit, good to see you posting Avalon..keep up the recovery!

[Twyla LaSarc]

Peregrine wrote...

Elvis wrote:

Twyla LaSarc wrote:
I want it to all be a game where we all learn our lessons and evolve, but when actual incarnate beings are made to suffer* in real time it makes me doubt the benignity of the process.

*talking torture slaughterhouse war genocide kind of suffering, not emo personal pity

That's the part I can't quite wrap my head around. The rest I can rationalize/intellectualize, the suffering only to a degree. It's vexing.

This I think is probably the biggest hurddle for me, as well. I honestly do feel rather in the dark about that particular part of the process & not so sure about how benign the experience is. At least on this side of the fence. My religious upbringing certainly did not have any good answers for it.

If we can answer the most difficult question, then all the other ones will be a breeze. The interior sensibility, of feeling as if, it’s fine to suffer, but not too much, as a price to pay for learning may be almost universal. But the issue that matters more is the one where our sensibilities cringe at the consideration. To me, the basic fact is that folk that impose heinous suffering on others have chosen an imperative that effectively requires that individual to participate in imposing said heinous suffering on any target that may be chosen by any given pseudo-tribal grouping. This is the game played through ideology, or coercively structured use of language. Jesuits and Marxists are adepts of this style of meta-manipulative control of narrative. (They most often ignore any potential content of counter narrative.)

This process does not seem at all benign to me, in that culture itself relies on fracturing the psyches of the people through many forms of trauma conditioning. But it may be a signal that the question will be answered through recognition of motivating forces behind the trauma conditioning element that seems to be a central feature of culture from antiquity and right up to this age of modern man. For me the lesson of the most unpleasant aspects of humanity is that a split reality model provides the energy for the false imperatives that drive the bulk of heinous response patterns. The only way to even begin to stop this gratuitous violence to our own and others psyches is to redesign our conceptual structures so that no longer will the best liars be the natural leaders of institutions and society.

Pray for the dead, for the living and for our children, that we might learn from mistakes that collectively, are of our own making.

Yeah it's bad enough to come here and struggle. There are all sorts of traps laid out in nature itself. Fair enough I come back as a rat or poor or have to adapt. Fair enough the mosquito kills me with malaria, I get bit by snake or worse. Accidents happen; logorithms form probablities, you pays your money you takes your chances.


That our own species seems hellbent on amplifying this process intentionally and with great sadistic zeal is incomprehensible to me.

[Peregrine]

I just got home a couple of days ago after 2 weeks of unconsciousness, and 4 weeks after that in rehab. Fell on the ice in front of my house, got a subdural hematoma, needed brain surgery. In rehab I learned to walk and gain my strength back again, to gather thoughts and associations, and use logic. Fantastic recovery, they tell me, and I'm not seeing any deficits at this point, other than the walking strength taking longer.

So I've had some time to contemplate my mortality lately. Mostly feeling very loved, and reluctant to leave this plane yet. Nothing too deep or wordy, just very grateful to be alive.

Holy heavens, Avalon, that is huge. Glad you still run in this physical world, too.

[Twyla LaSarc]

I just got home a couple of days ago after 2 weeks of unconsciousness, and 4 weeks after that in rehab. Fell on the ice in front of my house, got a subdural hematoma, needed brain surgery. In rehab I learned to walk and gain my strength back again, to gather thoughts and associations, and use logic. Fantastic recovery, they tell me, and I'm not seeing any deficits at this point, other than the walking strength taking longer.

So I've had some time to contemplate my mortality lately. Mostly feeling very loved, and reluctant to leave this plane yet. Nothing too deep or wordy, just very grateful to be alive.

Wow. Best wishes towards continued recovery.

[KUAN]

Don't know what to say but , love youse xxx

[Pele'sDaughter]

I just got home a couple of days ago after 2 weeks of unconsciousness, and 4 weeks after that in rehab. Fell on the ice in front of my house, got a subdural hematoma, needed brain surgery. In rehab I learned to walk and gain my strength back again, to gather thoughts and associations, and use logic. Fantastic recovery, they tell me, and I'm not seeing any deficits at this point, other than the walking strength taking longer.

So I've had some time to contemplate my mortality lately. Mostly feeling very loved, and reluctant to leave this plane yet. Nothing too deep or wordy, just very grateful to be alive.

You "sound" great; I would not have known. Welcome back!

[Hammer of Los]

...

I just got home a couple of days ago after 2 weeks of unconsciousness, and 4 weeks after that in rehab. Fell on the ice in front of my house, got a subdural hematoma, needed brain surgery. In rehab I learned to walk and gain my strength back again, to gather thoughts and associations, and use logic. Fantastic recovery, they tell me, and I'm not seeing any deficits at this point, other than the walking strength taking longer.

So I've had some time to contemplate my mortality lately. Mostly feeling very loved, and reluctant to leave this plane yet. Nothing too deep or wordy, just very grateful to be alive.

Oh Avalon!

I do so hope and pray you are well. Your recovery sounds like a miracle! Perhaps you have a highly developed electro magnetic etheric body which helped in the physical recovery. Yes, I do make this stuff up as I go along. Matter is a manifestation of the higher reality, or somesuch thing.

I like your username by the way, and I always like your posts Avalon, so please take the greatest of care and know that all our best wishes and hopes and prayers for your recovery are on their way.

Plus a short poem!

To Avalon;

Oh Apple Land!

The land of milk and honey.

Of the simplest of pleasures are our heavens made.

Who tastes the fruit of heaven?

Well, maybe more of a koan than a poem, but I was never that good at poetry. I made a better student of zen buddhism, as it turned out.

The problem of suffering? In particular, extreme suffering and the wilful creating of same?

Jeez you guys know how to pose the hard questions.

I might have to go meditate upon it.





...

[NeonLX]

Sure happy that you're still here with us, Avalon!

Dying doesn't scare me much, but the act of doing it does...

[norton ash]

Hi Avalon. Heal! Stay!

I've been contemplating my best friend's mortality... he's 63, and I've really begun backing off on topics like 'Holy shit! The Sex Pistols were 35 years ago!' or 'Dylan's been at it for 50 years now!' or 'Goldie Hawn just turned 86!' (psych)

No longer such a comfortable subject for our traditional 'ain't time weird?' ironic wonderment when it takes on the aspect of the big dark inevitable.

[Peregrine]

No longer such a comfortable subject for our traditional 'ain't time weird?' ironic wonderment when it takes on the aspect of the big dark inevitable.

I just know that I hope to stick around long enough to see my daughter become a well adjusted individual. I wanna be really old when it's time to go, but sometimes unexpected things happen.

This guy, on the other hand, is an interesting fellow, because he's got a background in neuro surgery & his brain was all but inactive when he had a highly sureal experience: