So what's it all for?

[peartreed]

Handsome B. Wonderful: Love your username. Live it.

In the vastness of Canada – or the universe, or even within our local horizons – an individual will sometimes sense their relatively insignificant size, and their impact compared to others gaining more attention in the human hierarchy.

Neither scale is relevant to the reality of you, and your life’s importance.

To the parents who conceived you and those aware of your arrival, there likely was joy. To the family, friends and fostering teachers there rose positive emotion, energy and reinforcing feedback by participating and interacting with you, and I suspect many peers also remember you fondly. Your everyday existence continues to be a catalyst for interesting interplay in this world whether you notice it or not, and your mind still journeys far beyond the constraints of conscious cognition.

Essentially, like all of us, regardless of artificial social measures, you are a soul with spiritual significance and meaning. The rest is just a temporary test. The grind is actually honing your weaponry for truly Handsome B. Wonderful wonders ahead.

And your presence here is a present. You’ve opened it by opening up to us.

[8bitagent]

What does it all mean?
Opinions on ice
Ask, you shall receive
Statues in mist

A big face in the hallway
Laughs at the action
No fun for great benefit
Some necessary friction

Open this aperture now
Idols crumble into dust
This is the blank slate
What does it all mean?

[Nordic]

"Without work, all life goes rotten. But when work is soulless, life stifles and dies."

-- Camus


These are extremely difficult questions you ask. Not to equate you with a child, but my 11 year old son, an avowed athiest, has been asking me the same sorts of questions lately.

I'm not even sure what to tell him half the time.

"At any street corner the feeling of absurdity can strike any man in the face."

-- Camus

[8bitagent]

I'm sitting here at my job wondering what it's all about. Why are we here? Why am I here? Why was I born? Nine months before I was born my parents had sex and nine months later I was born. Why? What am I supposed to be doing? All I know is I would rather heal people than hurt them. Pretty basic.

But I find myself so. what's the word? What is the proper description? Dissatiisfaction? A general malaise about my own existence? I work for a communications organization and as far as I can tell there are only a handful who actually care about it. Seems everyone else is just collecting a pay cheque. What for? To pay bills? To buy booze and make "them" richer?

I am 40 years old and have not accomplished much, actually nothing at all. Dropped out of college, no children, stuck in a rut at a $12 per hour job. The universe doesn't care, the earth doesn't care, my Prime Minister certainly doesn't care. Hell our Mayor doesn't care about me. Just want to get out of here, with no idea how to or where to even go.

I'm rambling, but I feel so directionless right now.

You've totally nailed the strange blah/existential rearranging I'm in the thick of right now. I want to blame it on a technological malaise. I think that's why I'm heading to the pacific northwest for a few weeks with no real plans next week.
I feel like I'm in the Matrix-Truman Show-Scanner Darkly. Ok not really, but there's something seriously off about this snapshot in time.

But you're right, what does it mean? You're born, you go to school, college, date, jobs, marriage, slave away for chinese made gadgets, kids, get in debt over track houses, grow old bitter and die.
That's pretty much the average American cycle of the last 60 years or more. I myself never graduated high school, didn't take college seriously/never got anything done, never really worked, never really dated,
have a couple hundred dollars to my name. I've worked on a prolific body of art/music/design/etc as a hobby for the last two decades but it didn't get me anywhere.
Though all my problems are more in my head, as I have no drama, relationship fallout, work related issues, debt, or the usual stuff that gets people down. I always felt alien, opinions contrary to most, yet still feel filled with imagination, whimsy and something telling me there's more to life than the aforementioned born-college-fuck-die paradigm.

You said Prime Minister so you're not in America....so you already have a leg up on some of us!

[82_28]

HBW, hang in there. There are no answers and one must ride it out or not ride it out. There is no way to escape that. If everyone was as honest as you are all could be satisfactorily solved for everyone. That's not the way it is. I am grateful for the job I have as in I care about it and will do anything for anyone there. Yet I too, totally identify with your feelings of self-imposed inadequacy. Know you do have friends no matter distant they are.

8bit, when you getting to the PNW? Do you need a place to stay?

[Searcher08]

Handsome B. Wonderful » Wed Oct 09, 2013 2:43 pm wrote:
I'm sitting here at my job wondering what it's all about.
Why are we here?
** To learn to embody love in your interactions with all beings.

Why am I here? Why was I born?

** To learn the unique lessons that are available to you right now

Nine months before I was born my parents had sex and nine months later I was born. Why? What am I supposed to be doing?

** You are ALREADY doing what you are supposed to be doing and it looks exactly like what you are doing. You can change it ANY time you choose.

All I know is I would rather heal people than hurt them. Pretty basic.

** Then study and learn how to do that excellently. You can help people heal by your words and how you say them.

But I find myself so. what's the word? What is the proper description? Dissatiisfaction? A general malaise about my own existence? I work for a communications organization and as far as I can tell there are only a handful who actually care about it. Seems everyone else is just collecting a pay cheque. What for? To pay bills? To buy booze and make "them" richer?

** Most people are in a socio-cultural trance. Seeing this for the first time for oneself can be an extremely disconcerting expereince - I call it 'losing one's moorings'. It means your spirit it no longer tied in safe harbour - it needs to unfurl it's sail and get out on the ocean.

I am 40 years old and have not accomplished much, actually nothing at all.
** You have NO idea of how much has been accomplished through you. We live in a six degrees of separation world. Remember 'It's a Wonderful Life'?

Dropped out of college, no children, stuck in a rut at a $12 per hour job.
The universe doesn't care, the earth doesn't care,
** This statement comes from a place of disconnection with Nature. Get back into communication with Nature. Finding a safe natural place you can spend time at, that recharges you, that you can see change over time, it really helps a lot.


my Prime Minister certainly doesn't care. Hell our Mayor doesn't care about me. Just want to get out of here, with no idea how to or where to even go.
** You sound like a Londoner, innit. And no, they dont!


I'm rambling, but I feel so directionless right now.
** Personally, I think there is a paradox at work, around control and perspective.
If you are out of control - then life is often really unsatisfying because you are not bringing into existence what you care about. This is the realm of workflow, of making things happen.
If you have poor perspective, then the default direction is drift / being moved by external forces.
This is about seeing things from the right altitude - about YOUR goals and YOUR dreams and YOUR visions, about making it up.
Everything I have seen indicates that starting from the ground up works - clean your living environment - every square inch, with focus and intention. Throw out anything in your space that isnt working - have only that which is functional and beautiful. De-cluttering the physical seems to 'map' into de-cluttering 'mental space', which is like cleaning up your mental hard drive and doubling your 'psychic RAM' .

These 'doldrums' sometimes seem related to needing to get in motion - physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually - and taking small,focused physical actions in one's own environment seems to hook bigger things in some kind of 'fractal' entrainment high weirdness

[Carol Newquist]

This world, the earth, can be, and is many things. Sometimes, this earth is bitter. Maybe it's one of those times for you. That's alright. It's not wrong to have these feelings....it's natural. I don't really get depressed. Some days I'm not as up as others....the light doesn't shine as bright. It's important to manage the genre discussed at this venue. It's heavy-duty shit. Embracing satire and humor is important to take that edge off. Stare into the abyss for too long, and before you know it, you're in it. But your feelings are legitimate, and it's nice to have that validated and to feel it and work through it. A sad song sometimes helps. Like this one.

[DrEvil]

You're in a great position to leave the BS behind and explore the world, if that's a call you hear. Young enough to have energy and health, old enough to have some street smarts and savvy. Find work on a boat or a ship going overseas. Keep hustling until you've found a place where you feel like sticking around; maybe it takes a decade or more. It wouldn't be easy but it'd be a hell of an adventure. Nothing holding you back.

This is a very alluring idea. Hire on with a long distance ship, sail the world's oceans for a few months, and step ashore in some strange place with a fat wallet. And for as long as you're on a ship, everything is provided for. No expenses and no bills to pay.

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

I'm sitting here at my job wondering what it's all about. Why are we here? Why am I here? Why was I born? Nine months before I was born my parents had sex and nine months later I was born. Why? What am I supposed to be doing? All I know is I would rather heal people than hurt them. Pretty basic.

But I find myself so. what's the word? What is the proper description? Dissatiisfaction? A general malaise about my own existence? I work for a communications organization and as far as I can tell there are only a handful who actually care about it. Seems everyone else is just collecting a pay cheque. What for? To pay bills? To buy booze and make "them" richer?

I am 40 years old and have not accomplished much, actually nothing at all. Dropped out of college, no children, stuck in a rut at a $12 per hour job. The universe doesn't care, the earth doesn't care, my Prime Minister certainly doesn't care. Hell our Mayor doesn't care about me. Just want to get out of here, with no idea how to or where to even go.

I'm rambling, but I feel so directionless right now.

You've totally nailed the strange blah/existential rearranging I'm in the thick of right now. I want to blame it on a technological malaise. I think that's why I'm heading to the pacific northwest for a few weeks with no real plans next week.
I feel like I'm in the Matrix-Truman Show-Scanner Darkly. Ok not really, but there's something seriously off about this snapshot in time.

But you're right, what does it mean? You're born, you go to school, college, date, jobs, marriage, slave away for chinese made gadgets, kids, get in debt over track houses, grow old bitter and die.
That's pretty much the average American cycle of the last 60 years or more. I myself never graduated high school, didn't take college seriously/never got anything done, never really worked, never really dated,
have a couple hundred dollars to my name. I've worked on a prolific body of art/music/design/etc as a hobby for the last two decades but it didn't get me anywhere.
Though all my problems are more in my head, as I have no drama, relationship fallout, work related issues, debt, or the usual stuff that gets people down. I always felt alien, opinions contrary to most, yet still feel filled with imagination, whimsy and something telling me there's more to life than the aforementioned born-college-fuck-die paradigm.

You said Prime Minister so you're not in America....so you already have a leg up on some of us!

I'm not in America, but I'm very close. I'm in Canada.

[Handsome B. Wonderful]

I am at a loss for words for all the great responses. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

[Elvis]

HBW, my offhand, short-term suggestion is to watch some Marx Bros. movies. Zany does not compute, technocracy has no use for it. But you cannot take zany away from people. Thats why technocracy will never fulfil people's longings.


Take heed about visiting nature! A day -- or three days! -- spent hearing only the birds and the wind in the trees has a settling effect on me. No radios! No phones! Forget them. Okay, maybe a GPS reader; losing yourself to find yourself is one thing, but getting lost in the woods is a bitch.


I also say, don't worry much about "accomplishments"; take pleasure in small accomplishments, find happiness in small pleasures. Ultimately, I think, the greatest accomplishment is practicing kindness and friendliness every day.

That said, I agree with the notion that people are happier when they have goals -- but I'd say further, when choosing goals, aim from the heart, and enjoy even small achievements.

I'm prone to depression, and have learned to counter it, to a good degree, with the outlooks I described above, and also by working at a regular job only about four or five hours a day. It's our busy season so I'm working more right now, but that's cool: I just bought a brand new guitar with some of the money -- big small pleasure! I even achieved a major goal for me: saving up over the course of two paychecks (I never was a saver).

Work is good, and necessary, but the technocracy* has most of us grinding away for at least 8 hours a day, typically pressing for more and more "efficient" "production." I think that for most people, eight-hour jobs (or often worse, two part-time jobs) suck up too much time and energy, leaving none for more personal pursuits during the limited "free time" the technocracy allots. This state of affairs sucks. I say people should only have to work about four hours a day to meet basic living standards, and the bulk of their time would be their own, as it should be. "Free time"...ffs...as if life is Bible camp or something.

Anyway, there are people, I assume, who depend on the services your employer provides, so I'd take some assurances in the fact that you're doing your part of the bargain and making someone somewhere happy (or at least not angry).

Lastly, I like the suggestions to take a plunge and travel. Having no kids might be an advantage for you in terms of freedom to take off for long periods or move about.

I hope any of that helps in some small way. I was going to stop at the Marx Bros. (Duck Soup or Night at the Opera are especially good), but that felt too glib so thanks for letting me spill out some thoughts about all this.


* Lately I think about everything in terms of the technocracy described by Theodore Roszak in The Making of a Counter Culture; Roszak brings new (in 1969 anyway) depth to the term (which he did not coin, as some have suggested).


PS Just looked at the preview...I would never read all that! ...oh well

[freemason9]

I'm sitting here at my job wondering what it's all about. Why are we here? Why am I here? Why was I born? Nine months before I was born my parents had sex and nine months later I was born. Why? What am I supposed to be doing? All I know is I would rather heal people than hurt them. Pretty basic.

But I find myself so. what's the word? What is the proper description? Dissatiisfaction? A general malaise about my own existence? I work for a communications organization and as far as I can tell there are only a handful who actually care about it. Seems everyone else is just collecting a pay cheque. What for? To pay bills? To buy booze and make "them" richer?

I am 40 years old and have not accomplished much, actually nothing at all. Dropped out of college, no children, stuck in a rut at a $12 per hour job. The universe doesn't care, the earth doesn't care, my Prime Minister certainly doesn't care. Hell our Mayor doesn't care about me. Just want to get out of here, with no idea how to or where to even go.

I'm rambling, but I feel so directionless right now.

mu, of course

[coffin_dodger]

I assume it has a different answer for all 7 billion autonomous consciousnesses. I can speak for only one.

To experience.

And if inclined, to change it.

[lucky]

I have taken most drugs at one time or another and they help for the period you are high but so does going to sleep for 8 hours.
I have always wanted to go out to the woods with minimal provisions for a few days just to see what its like to be on my own and have to build a fire and take care of my self with no chatter - how many here have spent more than a few hours on your own? so much chatter and distraction its very hard to think'straight'.
I always find that helping others for no reward is forfilling - BUT whats it all about? fuck knows we live we die and there is a small gap in the middle where we can , if we so desire , do whatever we want - and if you are unattached and have no particular responsibilities the worlds your oyster.

[NeonLX]

Ya. I've been asking the same question since about 1965. That is the year I discovered for myself that sh!t is old. A huge old tree, standing alone out in the middle of a vast grassland, taught me that. The damned thing had survived for at least a hundred years. Apparently on its own, because there weren't any other trees for miles.

I've been in a down stage for...oh damn, decades now. I'm having a tough time aging gracefully. Crummy marriage. Stressful job. Hereditary cancer. Came really really close to offing myself with booze earlier this year. Can't watch the fvcking teevee at all (except for occasional old shows & movies); the type of society that modern "entertainment" portrays is sick. And it makes me sick, quite literally. The narcissisim, greed, violence and debasement of humans--actually, the entire planet gets debased--is far too much for me to bear.

So...yeah. In spite of it all, I continue to exist, because at bottom, I don't want to cease existing quite yet. Plenty of beauty out there, for one thing. Even on my trudge to work in the morning, thinking about all of the crap that's expected of me, I still see it. This morning, a big old fluffy cat came strolling down a driveway to greet me. Ya, OK. That was worth being alive to experience. Seriously.