mulebone » Wed Mar 05, 2014 3:15 am wrote:You Sir, are a cad and a cretin. Your condescendingly misguided dismissal of the narrative arts and the inner lives of all the generations makes my blood run cold. Therefore you leave me no choice but to challenge you to a meeting on the field of honor. Shall we say, Delete Buttons at 20 paces? Dawn tomorrow? Till then, I bid you adieu....
Sir, you cut me to the quick. Prithee understand that, had I known that the relationship with your appliance had progressed to such a...such a serious level, I never would have besmirched her honor. As penance I vow that I shall make hasty flight to Ye Olde Beste Bye Shoppe, my servants will bring my carriage round before the hour is up, where I shall purchase the finest video appliance that money can buy. With a little luck I hope to snare one of your love's many sisters.
Furthermore, I vow that, come the morrow, I shall contact Ye Olde Cable Companknee and purchase the largest, channel laden package that they offer.
Finally, at some soon to be disclosed later date, I promise that I shall voyage to Ye Olde Surgeon's Shoppe where I shall invest in the finest & most stylish set of feeding tubes, catheters & colostomy bags that they offer. Along with this, I also vow that I shall have my eyelids surgically removed. All of this done in an effort to ensure that I will never ever ever avert my gaze from my television's illustrious & illuminate beauty.
With a little luck & the Grace of Our Holy Father, I hope that I too will one day find love.
Good day.
Wow, I did not realize I sound like a hung over Sir Walter Scott. Thank you for pointing that out to me!
Anyway, F. Scott Fitzgerald sums it up for me:
“That is part of the beauty of all literature. You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you're not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong.”
EDIT: Thanks for making me laugh, mulebone, your post was awesome.
