Don't send in the clowns

[2012 Countdown]

Clowns, Jesters, Harlequins and Mimes

The Evil Clowns: an Adventure in Synchronicity

I can still remember my first Evil Clown. I was reading the Fortean pages at the back of OMNI (hey, they had good fiction) when I encountered one of those little factoids that I can't put away. It seems that within one months time, police in LA, Chicago, New York and Boston had received 911 calls asking that police check out a clown that made the caller uneasy. When asked what the clown was doing that merited a call, the caller would state that the clown looked "suspicious" and frightened the caller. When police were dispatched, no clowns were found.

"Cool" I thought, "the Mass Unconscious is producing scary clowns. I wonder what brought that on?" And I went on to other things.

Months later I encounter the Jack Handey line: "Most people think clowns are funny, but I've always thought they're kind of scary. I think it goes back to when I was at the circus when I was a kid, and a clown shot my Dad."

Later, National Lampoon inexplicably ran a feature called Evil Clown Comics, the tale of a hard-drinking, child-molesting, ultimately kinked clown that moves in with a single mother and turns the whole family into his sex slaves. Okay, you had to be there, but it was funny.

Later, Marvel Comics would occasionally do a lampoon story starring Blotto the Clown.

In Boot Camp, I independently discovered Urban Myths. I didn't know that such a thing existed, or that anyone studied them. I just knew that every kid I knew in grade school (including myself) swore that he had really, actually seen a kid cuss out Bozo the Clown. Swear to God. They were having this contest, see, and this one punky kid loses, see, and he goes "Aww shit!" and then Bozo says, "That's a Bozo No-no" and the kid goes 'Aww cram it clowny." No, it's true! No shit. It was live, you know, and they couldn't cut it or anything. It was soooo cool.

Yep. Every one of us saw it. I mean, I hadn't, but I wasn't about to be the only kid who'd missed it, so I saw it too. Or at least, that's what I told the other guys at summer camp when we were trading stories. Most of them saw it, too.

Then I learned something about the Bozo Show. In Boot Camp, I had the opportunity to talk to guys who had grown up all over the country. I asked them if they had seen the kid cuss on the Bozo Show. They sure as hell had, they had the whole story down cold: Game, Kid loses, Aw shit, That's a Bozo No-no, Cram it clowny, it was live so they couldn't cut it. All the key elements. In Chicago, in Boston, in Nebraska, in Arkansas, in Oklahoma yada yada.

Here's what I learned about the Bozo Show. Yes, it was live. It was also a syndicated franchise, a local show in each venue. Each Bozo on each local show was personally trained by Harmon to be Bozo, but there is no way that sequence of events could have happened on ALL of the local shows (duh). Incidentally, for you Fireside Theater fans, that's why "We're All Bozos On This Bus" and why Barney the Bozo is a clone. Hmmmm. I forgot that clown.

Inci-incidentally, I was at the opening night for a play composed of Fireside Theater material from several albums tied together by the plot of "Bozos." It was written and directed by an acquaintance with the permission of the Firesiders (who were in line behind me waiting for their comp tickets. Fun guys, of course).

Watch "Body Heat" sometime. When William Hurt's character is establishing an alibi, he rents a car in Miami. He steps from the rental office and stares quizzically at an oncoming car. POV shows a convertible driven by a clown, with a bunch of balloons tied to the car. Slo mo. The camera lingers on the clown as if it's an important plot point. Close-up of Hurt's face. He looks uneasy, as if he's had a premonition.

Imagine how I felt while reading Stephen King's "It" the first time the evil entity appears as a clown with a bunch of balloons. And, of course "Killer Klowns From Outer Space."

"Shakes the Clown" (Nono, you don't take the french fry, I give it to you. Open your mouth. Body of Binky.)

I don't know what to make of it, or if I should try. Sometimes, you've just got to let the weirdness wash over you.

Can't sleep, clowns will get me.

Can't sleep, clowns will get me.

Can't sleep, clowns will get me.

Can't sleep, clowns will get me.

Can't sleep, clowns will get me.

Can't sleep, clowns will get me.

Can't sleep, clowns will get me.

Can't sleep, clowns will get me.

Can't sleep, clowns will get me.

Can't sleep, clowns will get me.

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http://www.fortunecity.com/tattooine/le ... clowns.htm

[Jeff]

What a racket (the Skelton paintings). At that point he was so old he probably didn't even know where he was. Red Skelton is the lowest form of clown - the so-called "tramp" clown.

Red Skelton gave me the creeps. Too studiously self-effacing, and his hyper-patriot moralizing had the stink of something hiding beneath. And I resent him on behalf of Buster Keaton, because much of Skelton's early films were dumbed-down knock-offs of Keaton classics. (For a while Keaton was forced to work as an uncredited gag writer for Skelton, whom he didn't respect as a comic.)

And FWIW, there's this bit of weirdness, from John Keel's Operation Trojan Horse:

In the summer of 1963 comedian Red Skelton was loafing alone on a beach in California when, according to what he later told reporter Dick Kliener (Newspaper Enterprise Association), he lapsed into a semi-trance for about an hour. Upon recovering full consciousness, he discovered a terrifying message written in his own hand in the notebook he always carries with him. He doesn't remember writing it or even thinking the words. The message was: "President Kennedy will be killed in November."

[cptmarginal]

And FWIW, there's this bit of weirdness, from John Keel's Operation Trojan Horse:

In the summer of 1963 comedian Red Skelton was loafing alone on a beach in California when, according to what he later told reporter Dick Kliener (Newspaper Enterprise Association), he lapsed into a semi-trance for about an hour. Upon recovering full consciousness, he discovered a terrifying message written in his own hand in the notebook he always carries with him. He doesn't remember writing it or even thinking the words. The message was: "President Kennedy will be killed in November."

Whoa! That made my day.

Red Skelton also was a 33rd degree Freemason. Michael Richards was inspired to join when he learned this fact.

[Col. Quisp]

Whoa...Red Skelton loafing?

Seriously, that's a weird story. Very interesting.

There is definitely something creepy about Red Skelton. I always wondered how he rose to fame. He seems like a "funny uncle."

[Jeff]

There is definitely something creepy about Red Skelton. I always wondered how he rose to fame. He seems like a "funny uncle."

[barracuda]

Yeah, that's right, an ARMY OF CLOWNS. Now what, biyatch?

[Seamus OBlimey]

Squirty Wirty





Many of our customers are 'A list clients' and we respect there confidentiality
please view list of venues where we have performed:
Buckingham Palace
Kensington Palace
St James's Palace
Blenheim Palace
The Houses of Parliament
The Law Society
N.A.T.O. Headquarters
Lloyds of London
The Ritz
Claridges
Raffles
Savoy
Stocks
SureStart
Harrods
Selfridges
Basil Street Hotel
The Police
Brooklands Motor Museum
Marriott Hotels
Barbican
Woburn Abbey
Whipsnade Zoo
Chessington Zoo
London Zoo
Willows Farm
Woodside Farm
Tate Modern Gallery
Somerfields
Tesco
Asda
Arndale Shopping
Lego Land
Natural History Museum
Addenbrookes Hospital
Great Ormond Street Hospital
Milton Keynes Hospital
Burley Horse Trials
Burley House
Mansion House
St Tthomas' Hospital
Last Wishes children's charity
Various RAF and Military Bases
The Corporation of London
Stars of Music,Film, Television and Sport
Wimpole Farm
National Trust
Luton & Dunstable Hospital[/b]

[RocketMan]

Now it's my turn to say that THIS is one of those threads that reaffirms my love for Rigint! Jesus...

Buckingham Palace
Kensington Palace
St James's Palace
Blenheim Palace
The Houses of Parliament
The Law Society
N.A.T.O. Headquarters
Lloyds of London
The Ritz
Claridges
Raffles
Savoy
Stocks
SureStart
Harrods
Selfridges
Basil Street Hotel
The Police
Brooklands Motor Museum
Marriott Hotels
Barbican
Woburn Abbey
Whipsnade Zoo
Chessington Zoo
London Zoo
Willows Farm
Woodside Farm
Tate Modern Gallery
Somerfields
Tesco
Asda
Arndale Shopping
Lego Land
Natural History Museum
Addenbrookes Hospital
Great Ormond Street Hospital
Milton Keynes Hospital
Burley Horse Trials
Burley House
Mansion House
St Thomas' Hospital
Last Wishes children's charity
Various RAF and Military Bases
The Corporation of London
Stars of Music,Film, Television and Sport
Wimpole Farm
National Trust
Luton & Dunstable Hospital

And those are just the names that gave ME the creeps... I bet there are others that I've just never before heard about.

Clowns have always given me the creeps. As a child there was a local television clown that I was in absolute mortal dread of and started bawling when he appeared in a children's show I otherwise loved.

[cptmarginal]

...not to mention the Royal Order of Jesters. You can find several websites online which make strong accusations about this group, which exists within the Shriners. Such as:

"The Jesters pride themselves in having control of all leadership positions at all of the Shrine Temples in the US and Canada as well as the Imperial Shrine leadership"





I posted my suspicions about them (in light of childhood experience) on this thread:

Drugs, Prostitutes, Shriner Paedophile Cruises

I certainly haven't come to any strong conclusions, though. The guy I encountered definitely seemed like the "funny uncle" type

Oh, and:

International Shrine Clown Association

Red Skelton was a great comedian, Shrine Clown, and human being.

[beeline]

I'll see your clowns and raise you several Mummers:

[Penguin]

Clowns have always given me the creeps. As a child there was a local television clown that I was in absolute mortal dread of and started bawling when he appeared in a children's show I otherwise loved.

Let me take a wild guess...
Pelle Hermanni?




I still dread that show. It felt like the clown was totally alone in his little deranged world with just imaginary friends he calls on his phone...

Wow, theres even an english wiki on it - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pelle_Hermanni

[Penguin]

No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child

ewww...

[barracuda]

Clown Torture

[battleshipkropotkin]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQ3D4CqHbJM&feature=player_embedded

Cops vs. Clowns

[norton ash]

I'm literally laughing my ass off... from Wiki:

Veijo Pasanen (October 14, 1930 in Muuruvesi – February 17, 1988 in Tampere) was a Finnish actor. He was the cousin of director and inventor Pertti "Spede" Pasanen.
Pasanen is perhaps best remembered for his role as Pelle Hermanni in the children's TV series Pikku Kakkonen. In 1988, Pelle Hermanni's "äitiliini" ("dear old mother") Raili Veivo continued the series, but died a few years after Pasanen. In 1992, a new series starring Tommi Auvinen as clown-in-training Niko was started as a successor of Pelle Hermanni, but the series was discontinued after ten episodes.

Pasanen was a good friend of children and is said to have practiced children's plays more intensively than adult drama.

Anyway, Finn clown stories are bound to be happy ones like this... I had to share the pic of Pelle Hermanni with a few close friends. We had an old, dear severely-alcoholic Finn-Canadian prospector friend (b Turkku) who died a few years back... and he looked something like Pelle Hermanni.

We love Finn humour in Northern Ontario, and I seem to "get" the films of Aki Kaurismaki more than many of my urban friends do. There's this f***ed up blend of absurdity, tragedy and fatalism to the Finns. (Often with a large splash of vodka.)

Anyway, this clown really made me laugh, but for all the wrong reasons.


Kiitos