Welcome to... Out Behind The Saloon

[Hammer of Los]

...

I daren't judge my Wis.

Maybe later.

I go listen to planetrock and make cuppa tea in kitchen and have good healthy smoke.

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[Hammer of Los]

...

We gettin' divorced.

S'OK.

But I want to stay where I am for now.

It's a nice flat, that I decorated again and again and put all the furniture together and cleaned and tidied like an idiot for ten years while raising two kids all on my own no help from a soul with a working wife who I would make a second supper for when she got home from her super important job work around 10pm or later.

Or was it 11?

I worked bloody hard every waking minute.

I worked so bloody hard it killed me.

Now I teach Perfect Dao.

But I need make money.

I no good wid dat.

Any of you able to help with that?

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[Hammer of Los]

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I don't really want to twirl around and affix people with my eye.

It'll really freak 'em out.

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[Hammer of Los]

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I show way.

Once upon a time.

In an evil blighted kingdom.

A poor tired stressed anxious father didst dare to raise his hand against the best boy in the world

im cryin now

he didst dare!

he deserves everyting and more

you fools

so i weep i say sorry sorry

and you know what

he forgive me!

he greatest boy ever lived

you find out one day

he taught me greatest lesson of buddha

With our thoughts we create the world.

Here is my expression;

All that is Now Real, was Once but merely Imagined.

Maybe I stole that from someone.

Blake maybe.

Great Artist Steel!

Metal Guru I!

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[Hammer of Los]

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But I learn Karma Dharma!

I good learner!

I cry and cry if I strike him and he forgive me and that somehow make it worse I only slap him with open hand i very small man then i have no strength i hit him not hard i swear to god but i did and then i promised never to do it again

If i lost my rag and struck him i would suffer terribly.

It became oddly physical.

A tiny rap from me would cause my hand to swell up.

I promised to never hit again one day a long time ago and wrote it down on a slip of paper.

That was a cantrip!

It helped me focus!

I learn karma dharma!

I observe sacred space around body.

Not enter unless give consent!

Teach this!

Personal space maybe one foot at least, none enter lest ye give your consent!

All should observe this rule.

I strike never.

My children strike me now and it hurt me not.

I take it.

It my just desert.

But I never strike.

I kneel, and beg harm me not, harm me not.

So I practice ahimsa and it release me from the wheel.

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[Hammer of Los]

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Looks like we in a confessional, don't it?

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[Hammer of Los]

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It long time ago!

I practice ahimsa!

I good learner!

I demonstrate what a good learner I!

In time.

All in good time.

I best learner.

I brainbox.

Dat Hank McCoy, he one cool guy.

He is smart and wise and clever and kind and strong and acrobatic.

Just like me.

But he dont have de udder gifts i have.

Virtue is there in karma dharma!

Virtue is there in ahimsa!

Virtue give a man power!

Man not give away power!

Ancient daoists not do dat!

Oh no.

Ancient daoists pure ones!

Ha ha ha.

I reveal way of perfect dao one day if you pay me enough.

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[Hammer of Los]

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Way of Perfect Dao is revealed only to man of perfect Dao you know.

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[Hammer of Los]

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I tell jah quickly way of perfect dao.

It's not me being judged here.

Its you.

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[Hammer of Los]

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J Day baby.



J Day.

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[Hammer of Los]

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Seriously.

I'm here under higher orders.

I don't wanna do dis duty.

But I gotta do my duty.

Damn.

So I show Way of Perfect Dao.

If you nice to me i let you use portal!

If not I hope you have a nice time in the Elysian Fields.

It's lovely here.

We like to dance.

So dance please.

Dance to my tune.

Dis be song of poor Hermaphroditus!

Turn It Up!





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[ShinShinKid]

"Comin' In..."



"Let us in,

We've done nothing wrong,

Cept' eat what would be considered a throng!"

I gotta squirrel with a light for our fuel!



Being Have isn't all it's cracked up to be!

[ShinShinKid]

Where is my medicine???

[psynapz]

I not love miserable muggle any more.

She kill my love.

She kill me and she kill my love.

Love is dead.

We gettin' divorced.

S'OK.

But I want to stay where I am for now.

It's a nice flat, that I decorated again and again and put all the furniture together and cleaned and tidied like an idiot for ten years while raising two kids all on my own no help from a soul with a working wife who I would make a second supper for when she got home from her super important job work around 10pm or later.

Or was it 11?

I worked bloody hard every waking minute.

I worked so bloody hard it killed me.

Ah shit, HoL... sorry to hear, but glad it's OK by you.

The kids will be okay, tho I suspect they'll need lots of your time. It sounds like Muggle doesn't have it to spare, which is too bad.

I hope she's gracious about your commitment in the face of her schedule. Then again, needing gratefulness for what you've done for someone is just food for the ego, which it eats whether it's hungry or not, so... if Muggle's not appreciative, well, she don't have to be. The kids'll know who was there for them their whole young lives. They'll never forget, in fact.

Will Muggle be getting her own sexy place near her important job where she can keep all her clothes and an empty fridge, or will she be proceeding with the current arrangement, but simply sans pretense?

Also, who's she banging at the office you think? Not that it matters...

For that matter, who's makin love to Muggle's old man while she was out makin love? Catshit ananda, that's who, bitch...

You know, if that's even a factor...

Just frontin for mah homeboy.

Now I teach Perfect Dao.

But I need make money.

I no good wid dat.

Any of you able to help with that?

You need a patron. A King's court in which to Jest. I can't imagine you in an unimaginative and repetitive job.

You know what? Completely serious, here:

chip van.

Except... some awesome twist of your own making on that.

The catch?

Endless head-tripping by one crazy old hippie while he prepares your lunch order. YouTube clip goes viral. BBC interview, etc. etc. then hire some kids to run it for ya. Or run it with your kids...

Could make bank with that, if you park it in the right neighborhood full of people that might get a surprised giggle out of your most spirited musings.

Psynapz, I really love ya man, you welcome in de Elysian Fields, but don't post no more images and long posts.

You just confuse Hermaphroditus.

You listen.

You no speak.

You learn.

Oh yeah?



No more images? No more long posts? Who am I, orz?



No, indeed. I'm really this guy on the motorcycle:



But I'm really glad we could be here for you to let it out, man. No better place for it, really.

So howsabout you and me and old Willy just sit down here a minute...




and just to keep it on-topic here:

[Hammer of Los]

...

The Tygers of Wrath are Wiser than the Horses of Instruction.

I am super healthy.

Who has been following this story?

It the greatest story ever told.

You know not.

Ananda know.

This time he monkey and I wizard.

I school him!

Next time he school me!

As to the Consul, who knows?

Don't you believe in wizards?

Isn't the sun shining?

Isn't the weather nice?

You don't know much about wizardry, do you psynapz?

...